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What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

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191–200 of 277 posts

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#191
post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

‘I don't want to be at work making someone else rich. I want to spend those remaining 30 years enjoying myself and bringing happiness to those in my life’ How do you expect to live out those 30 years without working consistently? Do you have means of enough passive income ?

Once you’ve saved a certain threshold of money, say $1M, it becomes relatively easy to make your money work for you at a high level so that you can live off dividends.

Until it dont

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#192
Fitter, happier More productive Comfortable Not drinking too much Regular exercise at the gym, three days a week Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries At ease Eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats A patient, better driver A safer car, baby smiling in back seat Sleeping well, no bad dreams No paranoia Careful to all animals, never washing spiders down the plughole Keep in contact with old friends, enjoy a drink now and then Will frequently check credit at moral bank, hole in wall Favours for favours, fond but not in love Charity standing orders on sundays, ring-road supermarket No killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants Car wash, also on sundays No longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows, nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate Nothing so childish At a better pace, slower and more calculated No chance of escape Now self-employed Concerned, but powerless An empowered and informed member of societ, pragmatism not idealism Will not cry in public Less chance of illness Tires that grip in the wet, shot of baby strapped in backseat A good memory Still cries at a good film Still kisses with saliva No longer empty and frantic Like a cat Tied to a stick That's driven into Frozen winter shit, the ability to laugh at weakness Calm, fitter, healthier and more productive A pig in a cage on antibiotics

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#193
I've had four careers, and each one became pretty much my whole identity. For some years, anyway. But eventually, I found myself becoming interested in something else. And eventually, that something else became a career. After a period of chaos, anyway.

And now my privacy/anonymity hobby has basically become a career. Except that I mostly don't get paid. Which isn't an issue.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#194
post #147
post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> all of which can strengthen the urge to defer existential questions about meaning, purpose, community, and identity until some unspecified future date I've quit my Software Engineering job twice now to spend years of my life doing whatever I want. First time I spent two years driving from Alaska to Argentina [1] and second time I just spent three years driving right around Africa [2]. Both times I had no job, no bo…

For a brief period of time I thought the “quit job to travel” was the dream life, but I soon realized, at least for me, that traveling for the sake of travel was just another way of running away of my problems. It also made me realize that most people are happiest when they feel like they’re contributing to society in some way, and traveling non-stop feels like you’re side stepping your role in society rather than ma…

Why does traveling non-stop make you feel like you're side-stepping your role in society?

One of the things i like best about traveling is that i have the time and mental energy to engage with the people around me. I eat at restaurants, i go to bars, i listen and share stories, i'll contribute to the local economy and perhaps put a smile on someone's face.

When i am working i suppose you could say i am contributing to society, in the sense that i am helping to build some software that performs a function our customers appreciate. But most of our customers don't live in my community. And even if they did, i'm not really employed to serve those customers, i'm employed to increase growth so that the company will make more money for its investors. Trickle-down theory says that's still a net contribution to society, but it feels very abstract to me.

Meanwhile, when i work i am too exhausted to spend any of the money i earn doing those things that i would when i travel - i don't spend money at local businesses, i don't talk to other people in the community, i just go home and sleep and go back to work again. It's the life most of us are forced into to survive, but i wouldn't really call it contributing to society, or at least not in as direct a way that people do when traveling.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#195

Here's a common sentiment amongst those with too much time on their hands: "When I am on my deathbed, I don't want to look back on my life with regret." The deathbed part of your life isn't even that long. Probably a week or something. And probably you'll spend much of it being distracted by morphine and excruciating pain, leaving no room for feeling sad about how shit your life was. Maybe you should just tell future…

> The deathbed part of your life isn't even that long. Probably a week or something.

Assuming you’re in a developed country, you’ve either been very lucky or haven’t yet had many friends or family on their death bed. It typically lasts several weeks to several months. If you have a family member who is dying of Alzheimer’s (I have), it can last years.

One week would be very fortunate indeed.

That said, I do kind of agree with your sentiment. Even if it’s months, your death bed is still typically a relatively small part of your life.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#197
post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For a brief period of time I thought the “quit job to travel” was the dream life, but I soon realized, at least for me, that traveling for the sake of travel was just another way of running away of my problems. It also made me realize that most people are happiest when they feel like they’re contributing to society in some way, and traveling non-stop feels like you’re side stepping your role in society rather than ma…

Why does traveling non-stop make you feel like you're side-stepping your role in society? One of the things i like best about traveling is that i have the time and mental energy to engage with the people around me. I eat at restaurants, i go to bars, i listen and share stories, i'll contribute to the local economy and perhaps put a smile on someone's face. When i am working i suppose you could say i am contributing t…

Solo travel is an inherently selfish pursuit. You are just consuming, and not creating anything of value for society.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#198
post #7

In my experience extreme workaholism can often be a way to avoid or defer major life decisions that someone doesn't want to make or even consciously recognize. High status careers are often structured, full of positive feedback loops, and well compensated, all of which can strengthen the urge to defer existential questions about meaning, purpose, community, and identity until some unspecified future date, even (perha…

It’s interesting you say that... arguably I am an extreme workaholic, I work 70+ hours every week. I learn all I can on top of that. I get satisfaction from it, but it’s not my identity. If I was a janitor, I’d try to be the best janitor, because that’s what I like doing, I like being good at my job. I also plan 2 years out and intend to have $X wealth by specific deadlines. I’ll work harder to reach it. For me, as I…

A former boss of mine told me once: "if you think you need X before you do Y you will forever find Xs". He went on to be a very successful CEO of a F500 company so his advice likely has merit.

The takeaway I had was that you shouldn't wait to live your life by first toiling away at something. Live your life today because who knows about tomorrow. And work is part of life. Find a way to enjoy that too even if it's a means to an end.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#199
post #7

In my experience extreme workaholism can often be a way to avoid or defer major life decisions that someone doesn't want to make or even consciously recognize. High status careers are often structured, full of positive feedback loops, and well compensated, all of which can strengthen the urge to defer existential questions about meaning, purpose, community, and identity until some unspecified future date, even (perha…

This. It's so easy to escape in workaholism and ignore the "hard" things in life (relationships, health, purpose, etc). It's easy (for me at least) to fall into this trap.

Re: What happens when your career becomes your whole identity

#200
post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are sure are doing a whole lot of book promotion on here and on reddit! This may come across as harsh, but driving on highways, pan-american or not, doesn't strike me as much of an adventure in the current era.

> This may come across as harsh, but driving on highways, pan-american or not, doesn't strike me as much of an adventure in the current era. No worries, I totally understand where you're coming from. I don't disagree with you either - sticking to the beaten path can be very easy , especially in countries that are more developed and have lots of tourists. It can certainly get very difficult and adventurous if you wish…

Wooo crossing DRC? That’s seriously hardcore. Reminds me of those books of Robert Pelton back in the late 90’s “most dangerous trips in the world” or something. Wonder what happened with that guy...
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