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Things to Never Say While Negotiating

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Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#41
post #8

Is there any way to gain practice on negotiation? As an entrepreneur, are there any resources on the internet where you can "practice"? The only thing I can think of is playing poker or something at the casino...

I was just thinking along this line as well. The best I could come out with is going to recruiters for a job interview.

I reckon that these guys are good negotiators and see how I can fare against them.

Edit : Oh, just thought of another one. Tele marketers. I would probably welcome them with open arms now

Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#42
post #17
post #7

I definitely think there are certain people who are born with negotiation skills, and those that are not. You can always get better of course, but some people have a natural ability (a specific form of empathy) to know what exactly the other party is thinking, feeling, and expecting, and can exploit it as much as possible. Its just as much a skill as a talent, and can be used for both good and evil.

According to what I've seen and read, there is no special talent to knowing what another side is thinking. It's just good listening, not assuming anything, and asking lots of questions. People who don't do these things will rely on guessing to understand the other side and will often be wrong.

[deleted]

Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#43

I am guilty of the "Fuck you" one. The offered terms insulted me so much I no longer wanted to do business with the person. Had I taken this article's advice, I would have stayed calm and moved toward some highly unsatisfying "middle ground" purely to "close the deal". We are faced with innumerable opportunities in our lives, and we need to filter out the best ones; for most negotiations, a successful outcome is not…

I think saying something along the lines of "we're wasting our time here" and getting up and walking out would be even more effective.

Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#44
post #38

Perfectly optimal financial value doesn't always equal perfectly optimal social value. For my current job my employer's first offer was exactly the amount I'd been looking for. So I said 'yes' and didn't negotiate at all. Maybe I could've talked them up, but I got what I was looking for and we closed the meeting in under 15 minutes with everyone happy. If someone offers you what you want, why waste time negotiating f…

> If someone offers you what you want, why waste time negotiating for more? Because you can use the extra amount to provide additional security for your family, or runway for your next startup?

Possibly, but not necessarily. My target salary wasn't especially low given my skill set and salary levels where I am, and was a substantial increase over my previous salary.

There wouldn't've realistically been room to haggle much up, my new employer being aware of current market conditions. The figure I'm talking about is the one you give to recruiters when they ask how much you want - it's my starting/'ideal' figure.

For a job that matched my desired career path almost perfectly, as a greenfield project at a very early stage start-up, using exactly the technologies that I'm interested in, offering me the number I've been giving to slave-traders, I didn't feel like negotiating.

If it'd been a suit-and-tie deal with one of the many local banks and insurance companies, that might be a different story. Their paperclip budget will be orders of magnitude more than my current employer's staffing budget. If I ask for too much money it might simply cut the runway down until it's no longer viable, and then I've wasted everyone's time.

Ultimately, I think this was an ideal 'negotiation' - they offered me exactly what I wanted, and I said 'yes'. Sometimes all the negotiation tactics and stupid head games can distract that whole point is for everyone to get what they want. I don't have space in my head to deal with second-guessing myself and my (then potential) employer over it all.

Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#45
post #39
post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge. - Don Henley

Man! You're like the MacGyver of bridge-related quotes. It's amazing.

  Kind words bridge hearts, but also diamonds, clubs and spades
  - Jack Handey

Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#46
post #31
post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't get the reference. The search engines don't turn up anything relevant either.

Andromeda, the TV show. On some episode, on some planet, they build a bridge to the moon and I think somehow also to the future. When they open it, the Magog from the future come pouring out. The Magog are a race that eat humans and also lay their eggs in them and the eggs feed on the (still living) humans until they hatch out. Not exactly pleasant stuff. Or at least that's what my mangled brain recalls from watching…

Actually, a lot of recent horror and sci-fi stuff is lifted from Islamic mythology (which itself is rebranded Jewish, Kanaanite and Babylonian lore.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gog_and_Magog

The TV show "Supernatural" heavily features themes of spirituality and daemons that are lifted from Islamic culture. The recent remake of Clash of the Titans also feature similar themes; the Jin, desert scorpions, Jin riding camels, etc.

Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#47
post #24
post #3

If I'm the seller I would prefer to throw out a number. That way you can simply pad the starting point, coming down in price is much easier than going up.

That's great until the person you're selling to immediately jumps on that. At this point, you are left wondering, "Gee, was my offer that good? Was it too low? I wonder what he was expecting to pay. Damn, I could have made 20% more had he made the first offer." Same goes the other way around. The trick is to have both people negotiating to leave feeling as if they won. In your case, you will leave feeling as if you l…

If you feel like you lost, your initial offer wasn't high enough.

I once suggested a salary range from [thrilling for me] to [unbelievable] and was offered the high number. I never felt like I "lost" -- until of course a year later when we were all laid off in early 2001. Ah, the "dot-com era."

I suppose some people will always be haunted by suspicions their deal could have been better. But for me, people instantly accepting my high offer is not going to be a lifelong regret.

Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#48
post #9

>1. The word "between. I largely agree with this article and even this point in particular, but I think you will often end up in a situation where stating a range can move things along quickly. If you qualify it properly, it can be a useful way to turn the tables. For example, if you are discussing rate you could say well, from the other people I've been talking to it looks like positions like this one pay between $4…

"you could say well, from the other people I've been talking to it looks like positions like this one pay between $45 and $65 an hour" Or you could just say "well, from the other people I've been talking to it looks like positions like this one pay about $75 an hour."

But what if they know that the range is $45 to $65? In that case you've just made yourself not look very credible.

Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#49
post #9

>1. The word "between. I largely agree with this article and even this point in particular, but I think you will often end up in a situation where stating a range can move things along quickly. If you qualify it properly, it can be a useful way to turn the tables. For example, if you are discussing rate you could say well, from the other people I've been talking to it looks like positions like this one pay between $4…

Problem is that once you've said "between $45 and $65", you've indicated that $45 is acceptable. Otherwise, why did you say it? I've made this mistake before, and find that people always zoom in on the lower number and think that's your actual offer. And then it's quite awkward to say "Well, I didn't really mean $45, I won't do it for that little." I've found that offering a range works much better when I make the lo…

it depends on how you frame it. Saying that this type of position typically pays X doesn't mean you're willing to take it.

Re: Things to Never Say While Negotiating

#50
post #9

>1. The word "between. I largely agree with this article and even this point in particular, but I think you will often end up in a situation where stating a range can move things along quickly. If you qualify it properly, it can be a useful way to turn the tables. For example, if you are discussing rate you could say well, from the other people I've been talking to it looks like positions like this one pay between $4…

There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying "between X and Y" in my opinion. You just always make sure X is what you actually want, and Y is at least 30% higher. Give them the opportunity to grind you down, it'll make them happy; give you the ability to say "look, I've already let you take X% off what this should cost" which will come in invaluable later, because it's an instant ego-booster for the other guy. Always let the other guy think he's won, simple rule.
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