Earlier quoted context omitted.
Sheep are rational agents when they are surrounded by wolves.
Being a wolf is preferable nonetheless.
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The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
81–90 of 249 posts
Re: The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
#82Earlier quoted context omitted.
You said stall so I am onboard with your disgust. This always reminds me about a Richard Feynman story where he'd stand in the bathroom and ridicule people who washed their hands after using the urinal, saying the urine was sterile anyway. I find that kind of hilarious. Colleagues complained all the time, like "well I was headed to lunch anyway and always wash my hands before lunch"
The first spurts of urine aren't actually sterile, nevermind the area around the urinal (where there's probably a non-zero chance of transfer). Ultimately washing hands is for the benefit of other people. It just shows conscientiousness.
Doesn't seem that "mid stream" is sterile either. Urine simply isn't sterile.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.urotoday.com/conference-hig...
Re: The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
#83Earlier quoted context omitted.
"not offending others by asking sensitive questions/Avoiding awkward" is the polite thing to do. But a core part of being polite, is not hruting others through your actions directly or undirectly. ( or at least trying) In cases where not asking the question puts the other party in a disadvantage or at the risk thereof, I feel one shouldn't be allowed to claim that one was being polite or "doing the right thing". You…
> But a core part of being polite, is not hurting others through your actions directly or indirectly. ( or at least trying) The problem is wanting the notion of politeness to do too much work. Being polite, being nice , is just a moment to moment strategy for avoiding conflict. Unfortunately, niceness has become the most important virtue in American culture. Being good is much more profound, and niceness is just one…
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Re: The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
#84Earlier quoted context omitted.
That is a trait I've seen in a lot of my autistic patients. Are you on the spectrum/have you been tested?
I did not get the diagnosis, but I was very close. I hate talking and listening to people, but since it is important in workplace I do it and I view it as transactional because if I hate it and I would rather by nature not talk or listen why should I not try to use it as something as an attempt to benefit me. Of course I have also been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. I think I excel in work interviews a…
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Re: The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
The first spurts of urine aren't actually sterile, nevermind the area around the urinal (where there's probably a non-zero chance of transfer). Ultimately washing hands is for the benefit of other people. It just shows conscientiousness.
It makes your hands dry, though.
Push for a better soap then, disinfectant, or use a cream.
Well, even just scrubbing the hands under water is better than nothing, if that's an insoluble problem in your organization.
Re: The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
#86The author misses the point. People are avoiding sensitive questions not because it impacts opinion on average, but because of the rare outliers that ruin it for everybody. It takes just a single asshole reporting you to HR to ruin your life.
Yep -- a classic "Expected Value is not the only thing that matters, but also one's Risk of Ruin" situation. The counter-argument is this: do we still overestimate our true risk of ruin when it comes to asking sensitive questions? Are we actually going to get fired (or whatever horrendous thing) for not asking that question? I bet the answer is that we still overrate our true probability of ruin when it comes to thes…
> Are we actually going to get fired (or whatever horrendous thing) for not asking that question?
What's worse than being fired is to be stuck on a job where the environment/culture has gone bad. Not everyone has the economic and social mobility to change jobs on the fly.
Re: The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
#87People prefer to quit a job or fire an employee before having a difficult conversation.
Quitting/firing is a difficult conversation to have.
Hardly anyone gets fired that way. Instead they go in the spreadsheet for the next round of layoffs, which are mechanical and depersonalized.
Re: The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
#88Earlier quoted context omitted.
I thought you were going in a different direction with this. To me, sensitive questions are very much in the first observation you pointed out (known unknowns). i.e. things we know we don't know about somebody. These things are often sensitive and therefore avoided in casual conversation. Not every known unknown is a sensitive questions, but a question by definition implies an unknowing. You ask so you can discover (…
A sensitive question is one for which the answer is an Unknown Known. Put differently, answers in that quadrant are the ones the questioned individual would like to avoid. As long as you, the asker , avoid asking them, there is a peaceful equilibrium. Once you ask such, you become a hostile. Or put in the original context - Unknowns Knowns are coverups.
I do not get this classification. The answer is fully known to the person who tells you, just has emotional valence such that they'd prefer not answering. Or you will prefer to not having heard the answer.
Most of the time it is also possible to deduce it partially. (but careful about that) Unless it is something very unusual.
Re: The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
#89Be careful about stuff like this.
There's an evolutionary reason for why it's default human behavior to avoid sensitive questions.
In general there's sort of a trend with psychology nowadays in how it identifies and teaches us how to deal with our own biases. While I think it's good to understand the origins of our biases it is not completely wise to ignore them because they are their for a reason.
Re: The Cost of Avoiding Sensitive Questions
#90Earlier quoted context omitted.
"not offending others by asking sensitive questions/Avoiding awkward" is the polite thing to do. But a core part of being polite, is not hruting others through your actions directly or undirectly. ( or at least trying) In cases where not asking the question puts the other party in a disadvantage or at the risk thereof, I feel one shouldn't be allowed to claim that one was being polite or "doing the right thing". You…
> But a core part of being polite, is not hurting others through your actions directly or indirectly. ( or at least trying) The problem is wanting the notion of politeness to do too much work. Being polite, being nice , is just a moment to moment strategy for avoiding conflict. Unfortunately, niceness has become the most important virtue in American culture. Being good is much more profound, and niceness is just one…
This hits at a fundamental point that has puzzled me about American culture for the longest time. A country that is so heavily steeped in protestant/purtanical Christian roots and yet does not even realize that one of the main components of that creed is NOT taking offense to things. In fact, taking offense to things is as sinful as actually offending someone.
It's basically a philosophical method of being a little less self-centered. It also suggests that while objective offensiveness is possible (calling someone a harsh name, etc.), most of the time offense is taken rather than given.
It is one of my favorite principles from a religion that most who practice said religion almost entirely ignore. Puzzling.