Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Having Kids

paulgraham.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

751–760 of 902 posts

Re: Having Kids

#751

Post by lazyasciiart »

stevedomin wrote: post #225
legel wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The car-is-anti-human sentiment is one I can deeply empathize with. Just like oxygen and water, cars and their perils were with our generation since birth, and therefore for most are subconsciously taken for granted in life. But once you spend enough time in urban areas that have consciously rooted them out, you realize that their super loud noises, toxic smelly fumes, and omnipresent fear of death from them are inde…

Have you heard of Culdesac? It's a YC company building the first 100% car-free neighbourhood in Temple, Arizona. https://culdesac.com

It's not car-free. Its aiming for "personal ownership of cars"-free.

Re: Having Kids

#752

Post by Cougher »

zmmmmm wrote: post #750
bryanmgreen wrote: post #459

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No clue why you're being downvoted. I too wonder why anyone would want children if they don't actively want to spend time and raise them.

Please be kind in life. Can you understand the hurtful implications of your comment to the person you are talking about?

Sort of agree, but sometimes hard replies can be the slap-in-the-face that makes people rethink what they're doing. Someday these parents may look back on the lovely little people they created and remember how much effort they spent trying to avoid being around them.

Re: Having Kids

#753

Post by madrox »

Ironically, I once ran into Paul Graham and his family on a Virgin Atlantic flight to London. They were flying first class. I imagine this unconsciously factors into his views, much like the Marissa Mayer “being a mother and a CEO is really easy” comments.

Re: Having Kids

#754

Post by blago »

kortilla wrote: post #727
blago wrote: post #689

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People are responding to how the argument was presented, not the premise. The post contained a lot of presumptions, logical fallacies, and judgment. Some examples: > And then people wonder why... > ...they only interact with you for 1-2 hours during the day > ...don't really know who you are > Why have kids at all... > ...all you do is try to get away from them and make them not bother you... Combined with the userna…

Which logical fallacies would those be?

Off the top of my head - nirvana. The post presented an idealized, "perfect" benchmark drawn from the user's own subjective experience, which is a problem in and of itsef, and suggested that anything less is not worth having.

Re: Having Kids

#755

Post by smhg »

nyczomg wrote: post #731
triangleman wrote: post #131

Hey guys. Anyone else have the experience of having kids, getting a burst of energy, but of course all that energy goes directly back into the kids and house, and you have absolutely no life for 3-5 years or more? Because my kids are 2 and 4 and so far it's been 4 years of no life, no freelance clients, almost no learning/hobbies, just 35-40 hours a week of working as much as I can at the office and then everything i…

As a father of 4 year old twins, all I can say is that you have described my life. We also bought a fixer upper when our kids were about 2 years old. I have nothing to contribute other than an upvote, and a plan to read through the comments in this thread. Life is hard. I feel beat down and depressed a lot. I would also love some words of wisdom. All I can contribute to this discuss is that I can relate. My kids (and…

What is a fixer upper?

Is it a house that needs renovation?

Re: Having Kids

#756

Post by enimodas »

anon9001 wrote: post #440
pbhjpbhj wrote: post #294

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you consider your life so far has been only pain, nothing of worth or fulfillment because you've not had a nest of millions-of-dollars to lie in? You'd rather not have lived? Do you resent your parents having you? [Questions, not rhetorical statements, genuine curiosity.] It's certainly an issue for many when considering parenthood - is it fair to raise a child in this situation - but I've not seen it expressed so…

Honestly? No, yes, and somewhat. > So you consider your life so far has been only pain, nothing of worth or fulfillment because you've not had a nest of millions-of-dollars to lie in? Not only pain, but definitely not actualized either. My life to date is a gamble that I'll maybe be able to achieve autonomy before death. If I was born into wealth, I would have started with autonomy. Not everyone is cut out for work,…

I had the same problems with work, but I solved it with finding a part time job. In my country we get paid vacation so I can take a month off if I want. I have to live somewhat frugal but I don't want kids so it works for me.

Re: Having Kids

#757

Post by javieranton »

Cougher wrote: post #752
zmmmmm wrote: post #750

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please be kind in life. Can you understand the hurtful implications of your comment to the person you are talking about?

Sort of agree, but sometimes hard replies can be the slap-in-the-face that makes people rethink what they're doing. Someday these parents may look back on the lovely little people they created and remember how much effort they spent trying to avoid being around them.

I am assuming you aren't a parent. We spent so much time with our daughter during her early years because we thought like you do. My wife didn't work, etc. Those were terror years. One day, my wife said she couldn't bear it anymore and asked that we bring her to the nursery for a few hours 1 day a week. My daughter LOVED IT. Her speech, everything about her development improved greatly. Every nursery day was the happiest day. She just wants to stay there and play. Now she goes twice per week. We wish she could go more often because it's great for her but we can't afford that

Re: Having Kids

#758

Post by fabiandesimone »

triangleman wrote: post #131

Hey guys. Anyone else have the experience of having kids, getting a burst of energy, but of course all that energy goes directly back into the kids and house, and you have absolutely no life for 3-5 years or more? Because my kids are 2 and 4 and so far it's been 4 years of no life, no freelance clients, almost no learning/hobbies, just 35-40 hours a week of working as much as I can at the office and then everything i…

Mine are 4 and 5 (with 13 months apart). I'm now BARELY holding my head above water. In terms of time allocation it's getting a bit better in the sense that I have more small time pockets for myself. But on the other hand it's getting more complex also (extra-curricular activities, etc.)

Sleep: it's better in the sense that If I get lucky and they sleep all night in their beds without coming to mine, I sleep for 7 hours, if not, then well, I don't sleep all that well.

Work: it's super hard and I work a few hours after everyone is sleep. I have tried waking up earlier but I'm using that time to try and hit the gym.

Re: Having Kids

#759

Post by thackerhacker »

nyczomg wrote: post #731
triangleman wrote: post #131

Hey guys. Anyone else have the experience of having kids, getting a burst of energy, but of course all that energy goes directly back into the kids and house, and you have absolutely no life for 3-5 years or more? Because my kids are 2 and 4 and so far it's been 4 years of no life, no freelance clients, almost no learning/hobbies, just 35-40 hours a week of working as much as I can at the office and then everything i…

As a father of 4 year old twins, all I can say is that you have described my life. We also bought a fixer upper when our kids were about 2 years old. I have nothing to contribute other than an upvote, and a plan to read through the comments in this thread. Life is hard. I feel beat down and depressed a lot. I would also love some words of wisdom. All I can contribute to this discuss is that I can relate. My kids (and…

As a father of a 6-year-old I suspect that it will get easier and easier for you from here on in. The kids will start to do so much more independently and so so many things to lift your spirits you weren't even imagining. Have you considered counselling? Just having someone to talk your thoughts through with can be very helpful. Stick in there.

Re: Having Kids

#760

Post by Gibbon1 »

smhg wrote: post #755
nyczomg wrote: post #731

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a father of 4 year old twins, all I can say is that you have described my life. We also bought a fixer upper when our kids were about 2 years old. I have nothing to contribute other than an upvote, and a plan to read through the comments in this thread. Life is hard. I feel beat down and depressed a lot. I would also love some words of wisdom. All I can contribute to this discuss is that I can relate. My kids (and…

What is a fixer upper? Is it a house that needs renovation?

Yes. A house with a lot of deferred maintenance.
Post reply on HN