I honestly don't know how anyone could justify having kids giving the current climate change situation. Don't you feel responsible for any potential pain your kids might feel as a result of the world going to shit?
Having Kids
211–220 of 902 posts
Re: Having Kids
#212Hey guys. Anyone else have the experience of having kids, getting a burst of energy, but of course all that energy goes directly back into the kids and house, and you have absolutely no life for 3-5 years or more? Because my kids are 2 and 4 and so far it's been 4 years of no life, no freelance clients, almost no learning/hobbies, just 35-40 hours a week of working as much as I can at the office and then everything i…
It gets better. Way better. Last night I explained quicksort to one kid. Now we are designing cards to laser cut. The kids get interesting and independent quicker than you might imagine. The days are long, but the years are fast.
Same here.
Yesterday I fell in the Collatz trap (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21780068). So after a few hours my 7y old son asked what I was doing (what was I doing?!). Explained him how it works and then we did Collatz "by hand" for almost an hour. These sorta random triggered experiences are the best.
Re: Having Kids
#213Hey guys. Anyone else have the experience of having kids, getting a burst of energy, but of course all that energy goes directly back into the kids and house, and you have absolutely no life for 3-5 years or more? Because my kids are 2 and 4 and so far it's been 4 years of no life, no freelance clients, almost no learning/hobbies, just 35-40 hours a week of working as much as I can at the office and then everything i…
Remote && part-time is the solution you're looking for :)
Re: Having Kids
#214Hey guys. Anyone else have the experience of having kids, getting a burst of energy, but of course all that energy goes directly back into the kids and house, and you have absolutely no life for 3-5 years or more? Because my kids are 2 and 4 and so far it's been 4 years of no life, no freelance clients, almost no learning/hobbies, just 35-40 hours a week of working as much as I can at the office and then everything i…
> then maybe I can think about something interesting to work on for a couple hours before sleeping
Those "golden hours" in the night or in the morning where I got to read or learn or do what I wanted were precious. As others suggest, getting some alone time by trading with your partner (if possible) is rejuvenating. But it's ok for you to not be as productive as you were before, because you have less time to be productive.
I have older kids and can tell you that it gets better. The kids get more independent. They want to do stuff with their friends. I have friends with teenagers and at that age they rarely want to spend time with you and you can leave them alone at home for hours (or even days).
Re: Having Kids
#215I'm not knocking Paul Graham or anyone who did well for themselves. But comparing your experience with that of Paul Graham, one of the richest people on the planet, is pointless. The wealthy live on a completely different PLANET than you or me. Of course he enjoys having kids, he has NONE of the stress of supporting himself and his family. His kids are going to have private tutors and house cleaners. He won't sweat t…
Most of us have rich lives compared to the average parent in 1950. I was struck by how Bryan Caplan put it in perspective [1]: > If you asked parents in the Fifties to imagine raising their four children with the help of the technology and wealth that we take for granted, they probably would have cheered. Why are so few couples taking advantage of this historic opportunity? [1] https://www.google.com/books/edition/Se…
Because of increased volatility, or at least the perception.
Re: Having Kids
#216Question to people with kids: if you could do it again, would you do it at a different time of your life?
Personally I’d like to wait until I’m in my mid 30s for some of the reasons Paul mentions: you have less time outside of work to do other things once you have kids. Seems like being a founder or even just trying to advance aggressively in a standard career is a lot harder if you have dependents.
There’s also two key trade offs I see too: money vs. energy. The more financially well off you are when you have children, the easier things will be (affording the house in the right neighborhood, daycare, etc.). So in that respect it’s probably better to delay having children. But if you delay too long, you might not have enough energy to do things your children want to do, and have a higher risk of health problems cropping up which take time away from kids
Re: Having Kids
#217Earlier quoted context omitted.
The same argument could be made for literally anything you or any other meatbag ever experiences, desires, or enjoys. It’s completely fatuous to use this line of argument to distinguish having children from any other human goal, activity, or desire because the criticism applies on both sides and hence cancels out.
If you go back to my original post, I used the idea of "biologically programmed" in the context of "sole purpose of reproducing effectively." That's the context that I am using "biologically programmed." It seems you are using it in a much broader context of "all possible human behavior." I am using it to distinguish between behaviors that support reproducing effectively and those that don't. If you are using it to i…
In other words, you’re making a circular argument: since you’re defining “biologically programmed behavior” as “having children”, you’re only proving that having children implies having children—a tautology.
You’re also missing my point. The only reason you have any desires or goals or ambitions in the first place is because, at least heuristically, they serve some sort of self-replicating purpose. Not all possible human behavior serves a self-replicating purpose, but the vast majority of actual human behavior does, at least heuristically. That’s why we behave that way and not in some other way.
Re: Having Kids
#218Hey guys. Anyone else have the experience of having kids, getting a burst of energy, but of course all that energy goes directly back into the kids and house, and you have absolutely no life for 3-5 years or more? Because my kids are 2 and 4 and so far it's been 4 years of no life, no freelance clients, almost no learning/hobbies, just 35-40 hours a week of working as much as I can at the office and then everything i…
What a horrible thought.
Life begins with kids.
Know life better.
Re: Having Kids
#219Question to people with kids: if you could do it again, would you do it at a different time of your life? Personally I’d like to wait until I’m in my mid 30s for some of the reasons Paul mentions: you have less time outside of work to do other things once you have kids. Seems like being a founder or even just trying to advance aggressively in a standard career is a lot harder if you have dependents. There’s also two…
I had a kid at 30 and think it was the perfect time. I wouldn't want to be too old when my kids are going to college, I want to be a good age where I can enjoy my free time and travel around.
Re: Having Kids
#220A beautiful and thought provoking essay and definitely one for pg’s kids to cherish later in life.
I see people in the comments trying to glean lessons from the essay or to compare pg’s experience to their own. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from having two kids, it’s that a lesson learned from one can be exactly the wrong thing for the other. Parental advice and experience is so hard to generalize.
I look forward to the follow up essay when the kids are teenagers. :)