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Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

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Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#361

Post by baddox »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #284
chroem- wrote: post #36

Dating apps are extremely broken, and yet they're almost all owned by a single company: Match Group. I have a suspicion that these apps are left intentionally broken to keep users fruitlessly searching and boost engagement metrics. I can't find a complete list of the companies they've acquired, but last time I checked, Match owns over 20 different apps and dating sites, including Tinder, OkCupid, and Hinge. We really…

TBH, I don't really think it has much to do with who owns them. The reason people are dissatisfied has to do with the fundamental experience of using an app to find love in the first place. Apologies for not having a link, but there has been a good amount of research that shows that the rise of apps and the internet has made it much less likely for people to date outside of their "attractiveness level". That is, prev…

Is it not possible that people are actually happier "dating within their attractiveness level?" It certainly seems like that might be the case, if (as you say) people do tend to do that when they find an app that enables doing that.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#362

Post by mcv »

randomsearch wrote: post #177
mcv wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's sadly a big difference between capitalism in theory and in practice. Concentrating a lot of wealth and power in a single entity is going to skew the power balance. I think capitalism might be better off without corporations.

Most supporters of neoliberalism don't know Adam Smith himself anticipated your observation and argued for the solution - i.e. regulation.

Absolutely. He was strongly opposed to monopolies and cartels, and I believe he even argued for what basically amounts to labor unions. He was incredibly prescient.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#363

Post by baddox »

jressey wrote: post #90
zulln wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you met your wife after a year and call the whole thing a failure?

What I'm saying is a might as well have dated random people for a year, it would have been the same result. The dating sites sell you on 'matching.' Oh, and if you think you're using it for free, think again. They are collecting all kinds of personal information about you

Don't most people use dating apps to essentially "randomly meet people"? My impression is that the dating app is simply a relatively new "place" to "randomly meet people." It's basically just like any other place to randomly meet people, like church, a hobby, a bar, a party, etc.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#364

Post by angry_octet »

LorenPechtel wrote: post #268
wccrawford wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you haven't seen some of the creepy or horrible stuff that some men say on dating apps. Some of the women I dated would tell me about them. While you can't guarantee a good date, you can at least eliminate the worst and unsafe-est dates by a little messaging. I dated for a while on various services before choosing OKCupid and sticking with it. I talked to and dated several women before I met the woman who is…

No, you can only eliminate the ones that are bad at hiding that they are creeps.

True. It does make dating seem like an endless Voight-Kampf test though.

https://www.bfi.org.uk/are-you-a-replicant/

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#365

Post by ramgorur »

There are many interesting ideas about how to come up with a "fair" online dating market.

But I guess everyone is completely disregarding the basics of human nature, attraction is mostly based on "looks/facial aesthetics":

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPillScience/

In a free/unregulated sexual market, women are the selectors, not men. Women are biologically hardwired to select good looking males (irrespective of his money, personality or social status). Therefore ugly people don't get matches. Very simple.

No matter how many ways you try to engineer/fix the system, it's not going to work. Because the existing system is already doing what it is supposed to do.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#366

Post by StacyRoberts »

empath75 wrote: post #147
astrojams wrote: post #91

I have a friend who used to work for one of the bigger dating app services. He is an AI expert and wrote the matching algorithm for the service. He is very good at his job and his algorithm was so good that people matched, got married and stopped using the dating service. The higher ups in the company noticed the loss of revenue and asked him to make his algorithm worse so that people would match, date, but then brea…

back in the early days of okcupid, my top two suggested matches were my first girlfriend and another girl who I had been friends with for years and had already been on a date with before either of us signed up. It was pretty remarkable. And this was when they didn't have anything like a social graph.

I married my #2 world match on okc. We were together for 10 years. Separated amicably and are still great friends.

I've now been with someone I met my second day on pof after being stalked on okc by an ex I met irl. I preceded to message with over 100 individuals on pof and met more than a dozen of them in person. Better than 80% of them had lied in their profiles in some way or another.

I focused on the most honest and compatible one. I fall more in love every day of the 2 years we've been together.

Online dating works. It's hard. But it works.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#367

Post by StacyRoberts »

crazygringo wrote: post #273
chroem- wrote: post #36

Dating apps are extremely broken, and yet they're almost all owned by a single company: Match Group. I have a suspicion that these apps are left intentionally broken to keep users fruitlessly searching and boost engagement metrics. I can't find a complete list of the companies they've acquired, but last time I checked, Match owns over 20 different apps and dating sites, including Tinder, OkCupid, and Hinge. We really…

Sorry, but they're not extremely broken. I worked at OkCupid 8 years ago, saw the issues they faced then and have seen the evolution of the apps since then, and right now they really are as good as anyone's been able to come up with that attracts enough active users to generate promising dates. If there were a drastically better solution, then it would take over the market. The last major innovation was when Tinder i…

Chemistry is not a predictor of long-term relationship success.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#368

Post by danbolt »

ramgorur wrote: post #365

There are many interesting ideas about how to come up with a "fair" online dating market. But I guess everyone is completely disregarding the basics of human nature, attraction is mostly based on "looks/facial aesthetics": https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPillScience/ In a free/unregulated sexual market, women are the selectors, not men. Women are biologically hardwired to select good looking males (irrespective of his…

I don't think that's universally true. Being attractive certainly can help make good impressions easier (and I've known insufferable people coast by on good looks too) but I don't think it's the be-all or end-all of romance.

I've known women that have broken up with or turned down attractive men because they didn't enjoy talking with them, or had different political views, or wanted to have/not have children. Conversely, I've known men that didn't exactly look like movie stars end up in relationships with nice-looking women too. That's not even considering same-sex attraction either. Heck, I've turned people down to date less physically-attractive people in the past too.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#369

Post by nkkollaw »

dang wrote: post #349
nicc wrote: post #300

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Please don't take HN threads further into ideological flamewar. We're trying to avoid that here. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html Edit: yikes, it looks like you've repeatedly been posting unsubstantive and/or flamebaity comments. We ban accounts that do that. Can you please review https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and use HN as intended? The idea is: if you have a substantive point to m…

OK, sorry about that.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#370

Post by MadWombat »

vbtemp wrote: post #34

I had an idea for a dating app a while back, in which the basic idea is that you pay the service to message someone (above a free weekly limit of say 1 msg). The pricing would be reactive - as popular attractive people get more messages, the more it would cost to message them, growing exponentially in order to limit incoming messages to approx a few a day. Unpopular people who got few messages would have a price that…

I thought about similar ideas, but I think it solves a problem (women want to get fewer messages) while ignoring the main goal (women want the messages to be from the guys they would like to meet). Once messages start costing a significant amount of money, only the truly desperate and/or predatory will be sending the messages.
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