Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

wfmynews2.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

291–300 of 416 posts

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#291

Post by hombre_fatal »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #232
jakear wrote: post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Loneliness sucks, and for some people it can be difficult to try to meet new people in “real-world” social interactions.

I'm one of those people, but dating apps only ever made things worse. I can't imagine why anyone would want to use them unless they literally could not live with being alone. Fortunately for me I have decades of experience at that.

> I can't imagine why anyone would want to use them

I'll tell you why: Why be content only meeting the subset of women I can meet face-to-face in my free time when I can complement my social life with a dating app that helps me meet more?

I can do both.

I can only understand your confusion if you have zero success on dating apps and assume nobody else has any success, either. And there are people obviously having success on dating apps.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#292

Post by ipython »

greggman2 wrote: post #121
jermaustin1 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> except that the payment goes to the recipient I believe you just described escorting/prostitution. Not that I am against sex work, but that app would be DOA.

Have you seen https://www.whatsyourprice.com/ ? Most amazing spin ever. Here's the ad targeted at women https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GK2MrUOfAPE and the one targeted at men https://vimeo.com/21179683 Also https://misstravel.com and their pitch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLSiy4nUvnc

Ha. Fascinating. What's even better is the bracketing in the two videos - the guy offered $20 and went on a date with "an attractive female" yet the female only accepted the $100 offer.

So as a man you're primed thinking your date will cost you on the order of $20, but the woman is expecting offers in the order of $100. Expectations are already mismatched before you've even signed up!

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#293

Post by hombre_fatal »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #242
nradov wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dating is only as miserable and tedious as you want to make it. If you're not satisfied with results so far then change your approach. This may require multiple iterations over several years until you find something that works for you.

Been there, done that, decided it wasn't worth the continued effort.

This isn't the first time I've seen you in dating-related threads, I recognize the username since it makes me chuckle (aren't we all?).

If you've given up the game, and I can certainly empathize -- it's a real crapshoot --, why do you feel the need to share such a strong opinion in these types of threads as if nobody else is having any luck in the dating world? Isn't this obviously a personal problem?

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#294

Post by lazyjones »

brenden2 wrote: post #8

I've thought about making a new dating app. The existing apps suck for 2 reasons: in most markets men are at a significant disadvantage because of how men and women differ in the way they approach dating (and there's also a significantly unfair male:female ratio in many markets). Additionally, none of them are really designed to get people off the app, but rather they're built to increase engagement and keep people o…

Why do we need apps with local scope if the aim is to meet in person anyway? Can't we just build clubs/pubs for singles only, with one age group per day of week and security to keep things safe and gender ratios balanced? There's even a good, well-tested monetisation scheme that doesn't have an effect on quality of matches...

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#295

Post by thaumasiotes »

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #284
chroem- wrote: post #36

Dating apps are extremely broken, and yet they're almost all owned by a single company: Match Group. I have a suspicion that these apps are left intentionally broken to keep users fruitlessly searching and boost engagement metrics. I can't find a complete list of the companies they've acquired, but last time I checked, Match owns over 20 different apps and dating sites, including Tinder, OkCupid, and Hinge. We really…

TBH, I don't really think it has much to do with who owns them. The reason people are dissatisfied has to do with the fundamental experience of using an app to find love in the first place. Apologies for not having a link, but there has been a good amount of research that shows that the rise of apps and the internet has made it much less likely for people to date outside of their "attractiveness level". That is, prev…

In Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man ( https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143038702/ ), one aspect of male life the author explores is wooing and dating.

Her initial expectation is that, with her inside understanding of female thinking, she will have an easy time courting. But she finds that in person, many women perceive and are uncomfortable with her lack of masculinity. Relationships usually fail quickly once they reach the point of in-person contact.

But there's a major exception to this rule: she also found that women usually required an extended period of online correspondence before agreeing to meet face-to-face. And during this period, her initial expectation was completely correct -- women appeared to judge the man according to how much they liked his writing, and what they were looking for was feminine, not masculine, writing. She experienced unusual success in getting to the first date in the first place.

We can make a small interpretive leap to say that this suggests women are actually looking for the wrong things when they use online dating apps, proactively selecting men they are unlikely to be attracted to in person.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#296

Post by HBKXNCUO »

LorenPechtel wrote: post #262
Pxtl wrote: post #190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are probably ways you could make it manageable and less morally repugnant. 1) Let people set their own price. Then it's not the platform valuing you, it's how much you value your own time. 2) Provide "auto-pricing" as an optional feature. Use an imaginary unit - call it "stamps" and provide ways to earn "stamps" on the platform besides just buying them. "How many stamps should it cost for somebody to send you a…

I like the idea (not that I'm in the dating market) but I think any purchase option is going to end up matching wealthy men with attractive women. Instead, how about a different approach: You get say 10 stamps/day. There is no way to purchase them. Any message you receive can be replied to once with no cost. Also, the cost to send to someone is adjusted by the cost to send to you. (Another poster suggested ELO rating…

>but I think any purchase option is going to end up matching wealthy men with attractive women.

Isn't that how it normally works out anyway?

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#297

Post by hombre_fatal »

jlokier wrote: post #225
rkachowski wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OKCupid has really been pushed to adopt the tinder based swipe approach in the past 2 years or so. They've also had a few big PR screw ups with forcing users to present their real names and really shifting the feature set to be more like Tinder now. It's really not the same as okcupid from 4 years ago

I agree. I used the old OkCupid for years and met a few new friends through it. It tended to match me up with people already in my "friends of friends" extended circles, with good quality common interests and attitudes, and was great for expanding those circles. I thought it was one of the best sites on the net for getting to know new people. (Way better than, say, Facebook, where you exchange comments but never real…

I'm sure plenty of HNers can give you tips for making friends on Tinder: you simply fail to attract the opposite person. ;)

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#298

Post by hombre_fatal »

odiroot wrote: post #218
erikpukinskis wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you say more about what’s not working? I’ve been with my girlfriend three years, just bought a car together. It’s going well! We met on OKcupid. I’m a happy customer, though I don’t think I’ve ever paid them anything.

Most of my friends (both male and female) complain about dating apps. It may be highly local problem though, related to the culture of the city I live in. Usually when travelling I noticed it worked much better for me.

I think we complain about dating apps because it's a harder pill to swallow that dating itself is a crapshoot, and you just sound like an incel when you complain about dating and how unfair life is.

Besides, aren't we presumably on Tinder because of the logistical downsides of meeting people otherwise? Nothing stops us from using Tinder as a supplement. If dating was so great and without trade-offs, we wouldn't have downloaded Tinder to begin with. :)

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#299

Post by peruvian »

scrollaway wrote: post #166
jressey wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Survivorship Bias: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias I met my wife online after a year of fruitless first dates. Maybe I'm just unappealing or something but it was truly a miserable part of my life. Edit: I'm gonna add in here that most people don't have the stick-to-itiveness that most readers of this site do.

I met a couple of interesting people over the years on OkCupid and Meetic. Three, total. Over nine years. I dated one of them briefly, made excellent friends with another. I ended up in a now-ended relationship with someone I met in an online forum, and now in a very happy relationship with someone I met at a board game Meetup. Dating sites made me feel miserable when I used them. Constantly fruitless, frustrating. A…

> This shouldn't be a numbers game

This is almost exactly how it is in real life though. The more people you approach for a date -> the more chances you might have. And forget actual dating apps - people are using regular social media like Instagram to "meet" people too.

Re: Greensboro Man Creates Dating App Where He's the Only Guy Allowed

#300

Post by nicc »

thewarrior wrote: post #217
astrojams wrote: post #91

I have a friend who used to work for one of the bigger dating app services. He is an AI expert and wrote the matching algorithm for the service. He is very good at his job and his algorithm was so good that people matched, got married and stopped using the dating service. The higher ups in the company noticed the loss of revenue and asked him to make his algorithm worse so that people would match, date, but then brea…

I don’t know about the truth of this but I can attest to a certain version of this from first hand experience. If your profile is not as desirable or just average they start hiding your profile so you don’t get as many matches. Then you pay and start getting slightly more matches. Since you’re average you’ll keep paying for a while till you get matched or maybe not. They keep a few of the desirable people visible wit…

[flagged]
Post reply on HN