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Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

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Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#131

Post by cocomittens »

blondie9x wrote: post #115
cthalupa wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of this comment isn’t born out in reality. Around 30% of marriages in the US are from people who met in the office, plenty of people make life long friends from people they met at work, etc. I’m not saying that should be the primary place you look for friends or an SO, but plenty of people are successful doing it.

This becomes a bigger topic but if those people never had worked together they probably wouldn't have met and more over is that a initiated out of convenience or pressure of having to date or hang out with a co-corker because they are always around and you have to see them frequently or daily? What happened to meeting people naturally outside of a forced setting?

I mean if you are somewhere 1/3 of the whole day you naturally get to know the people you are around everyday. As well as the fact that you already have a filter of commonality, everyone I work with already has been filtered to live in the same town, at the same company and is also a fellow engineer. No one's harassing someone into dating them due to being around them a lot and if they did that sounds like some type of #metoo situation and probably would get you fired pretty quickly nowadays. If you don't want to date a coworker you are free to not date them but I don't see how, for example my coworkers that just got married have an inferior relationship because they didn't meet 'naturally'. In fact I would consider getting to know someone by talking to them everyday one of the most natural forms vs meeting someone online.

Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#132

Post by viraptor »

shrimpx wrote: post #106

This same old tired story... It turns out happiness takes lot of work. Having a healthy social life takes a lot of trying, failing, and some successes that you cherish. Some people tragically take their co-workers as their friends and the office as their social environment. That's really dangerous. You need to go out there and try, be awkward, fight to make some close friends in the real world. Office drama and venti…

> Isolation and depression is due to lacking social skill and not having the drive or insight to develop that skill.

You are oversimplifying the issue. Please find some insight that there's more nuance here.

Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#133

Post by eternalny1 »

katbyte wrote: post #121
matwood wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know it's easier said than done, but you can't rely on work alone to make you happy. You have to take that task on yourself. I would even go so far to say you shouldn't even rely on your spouse to make you happy. They should complement you. I would also say that you have to embrace the biggest benefit of remote work - personal agency. Most remote workers I know (myself included) can for the most part work when we w…

This is exactly why i will never work in an office again. - I wake up when i want (thou without fail earlier then when i had a commute to dread) - i can make a nice coffee/breakfast while getting some work done - i work out every day, sometimes multiple times because i can pop to a class by my home whenever i want - i often take days off to climb or snowboard/shift my work into the evening - seeing friends is easier…

I am the OP on this thread, and I totally agree with you (and almost everyone else who has replied).

There are massive perks to working remotely and I will never (hopefully), ever have to work in an office and commute again.

You have to be extremely disciplined, and have a company that knows how to set requirements properly.

If you have that, and you know exactly what needs to be done, and when it needs to be done by, then you are set.

Do it, and then do whatever else you want. Wake up whenever, take a 3 hour lunch break, it doesn't matter.

I worked 4 hours this Sunday AM because I had nothing else to do and I wanted to get progress done on my current task.

This is the proper way to work, especially so for software engineers, where everything can be done 100% the same remotely as it can be done in an office.

Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#134

Post by TheSpiceIsLife »

socceroos wrote: post #128
dromen wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Let me attempt to draw you a pyramid of home location needs: 5. Political situation - not a warzone? Not under sharia? Very democratic, or key to world issues you consider important? 4. Climate - no tundra/sahara? Would you benefit from living near the sea? 3. Food - is the local food edible? Is the local food cheap, including the restaurants? Or is it just very good? 2. Access to nature - do you want to try mountain…

Come live in Tasmania. We double-tick the top 4 on that list imho

I've been in Tasmanian for 6 years now, without a doubt the best place I've lived in, of the handful of places I've lived in Australia.

Contact email in my profile.

Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#135

Post by cameronbrown »

katbyte wrote: post #121
matwood wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know it's easier said than done, but you can't rely on work alone to make you happy. You have to take that task on yourself. I would even go so far to say you shouldn't even rely on your spouse to make you happy. They should complement you. I would also say that you have to embrace the biggest benefit of remote work - personal agency. Most remote workers I know (myself included) can for the most part work when we w…

This is exactly why i will never work in an office again. - I wake up when i want (thou without fail earlier then when i had a commute to dread) - i can make a nice coffee/breakfast while getting some work done - i work out every day, sometimes multiple times because i can pop to a class by my home whenever i want - i often take days off to climb or snowboard/shift my work into the evening - seeing friends is easier…

I'm not saying you're wrong, but you can get these benefits from a FAANG-type company (though like you said, presuming a short commute). I'm personally planning to do working holidays in other countries every so often.

Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#136

Post by confidantlake »

I work 1 day a week in the office 4 days at home. I am much happier and healthier. Every lunch I go for a run, something I could not do when I was at the office. I am getting more sleep as I wake up later do to no commute. Overall it is much better.

Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#137

Post by katbyte »

cameronbrown wrote: post #135
katbyte wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is exactly why i will never work in an office again. - I wake up when i want (thou without fail earlier then when i had a commute to dread) - i can make a nice coffee/breakfast while getting some work done - i work out every day, sometimes multiple times because i can pop to a class by my home whenever i want - i often take days off to climb or snowboard/shift my work into the evening - seeing friends is easier…

I'm not saying you're wrong, but you can get these benefits from a FAANG-type company (though like you said, presuming a short commute). I'm personally planning to do working holidays in other countries every so often.

I’m not sure I’d want to work for a FAANG company thou.. and honestly no commute is the best, 5% or more of my day back, every work day? Yes please

Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#138

Post by davidjnelson »

I’ve noticed the key is lots of zoom one on ones. It’s so productive and fun, and you don’t feel lonely. Also, meditation helps a ton - it’s easy to feel lonely in a crowd if the inner experience is out of whack, regardless of the external situation. Shared whiteboarding software is also great.

Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#139

Post by cameronbrown »

katbyte wrote: post #137
cameronbrown wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not saying you're wrong, but you can get these benefits from a FAANG-type company (though like you said, presuming a short commute). I'm personally planning to do working holidays in other countries every so often.

I’m not sure I’d want to work for a FAANG company thou.. and honestly no commute is the best, 5% or more of my day back, every work day? Yes please

And that's obviously your choice. I personally chose this path since I'm at the beginning of my career - maybe I'll give remote working a shot one day! However, nothing seems worse to me right now than mixing home and work life. Physically separating them gives me a mental barrier between them.

BTW, commutes aren't 'fun', but it gives me a chance to read/reply to my emails, plan my day, or do some reading, so on balance I do save non-negligible time.

Re: Isolation, anxiety, and depression in the remote workplace

#140

Post by ben_jones »

matwood wrote: post #116
ben_jones wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you me? Some of my personal anecdotes going through the exact same circumstances (I'm also currently applying for dual US/Irish citizenship): 1) I hate working out. I don't want to do it. But when I do, I feel momentously better afterwards. I have not worked out consistently in the last 12 mo. 2) I hate cooking and cleaning up after cooking. I don't want to do it. But when I do, I feel better afterwards. I have n…

I know it's easier said than done, but you can't rely on work alone to make you happy. You have to take that task on yourself. I would even go so far to say you shouldn't even rely on your spouse to make you happy. They should complement you. I would also say that you have to embrace the biggest benefit of remote work - personal agency. Most remote workers I know (myself included) can for the most part work when we w…

I deeply agree, but dynamic scheduling can have a strong negative affect of causing you to always stay in "work-mode". If I spend my mornings doing errands, cooking, or hitting the gym, I may end up working well into the evening up to the point just before I fall asleep. Or more likely, I shave hours from my "work-week" working about 6 hours a day, and find myself working throughout the weekend without any "mental rest".

I think humans have always struggled with finding ways to be happy in whatever circumstances they are provided, and remote work and the new global economy are going to force us (through some struggle) to figure out the best ways for ourselves to get on.

Ultimately as I mention in my original post it's about self-discipline and structure to do what you know will make you happy, but strangely that can be pretty hard.

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