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Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

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Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#221

Post by psv1 »

magduf wrote: post #214
reroute1 wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

He's talking about evolution though, and it definitely seems to hold up for our past as a species.

I wouldn't be so sure. This line of thought seems to reflect a bias towards modern-day societies and how they operate ("modern" being the last couple thousand years or more). In ancient hunter-gatherer societies, people most likely lived in small tribes, so this idea that women have to be skeptical or critical of men doesn't really hold up. Men who are a real problem would have been cast out of the tribe or killed, a…

> people most likely lived in small tribes, so this idea that women have to be skeptical or critical of men doesn't really hold up.

This premise and your thoughts on polygamy can coexist with my suggestion about women being selective. If you can have only a handful of pregnancies in your lifetime each of them carrying the very real risk of death for both yourself and the baby, as well as the burden of taking care of any children that survive, then you really need to make sure that your shots count and you're choosing the best mates from the tribe. Men don't have the same burden of pregnancy and childcare - additional partners only increase their chances of passing along their genes, so as a result they become far less selective.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#222

Post by hombre_fatal »

_pmf_ wrote: post #56
KaoruAoiShiho wrote: post #49

My hot take: Women give and men take in relationships. See life expectancy of married vs unmarried men and the same for women. When a breakup happens women loses more as she committed more.

> Women give and men take in relationships > See life expectancy of married vs unmarried men and the same for women. Why not look at divorce settlements to decide who takes and who gives? Muh sexism much.

Yeah, kinda sounds like incel/puritan thinking where sex is the act of men taking from women instead of a mutual experience. Also, aren't men stereotypically the providers, if they're going go that route?

Seems like the HNers (presumably men) weighing in here against (other) men are really just unmasking their own poor experiences with getting along with women. Most of these negative comments come across as men narcing on themselves while confusing it for broad social commentary. Like that joke about the guy asserting that women don't like sex because his girlfriend goes straight to sleep when she gets in bed with him.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#223

Post by aphextim »

moate wrote: post #212
aphextim wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess I'm reading this wrong. >Two studies revealed that men are more likely than women to evaluate their former romantic partners more favorably. A third, larger study replicated this finding. All three studies yielded medium effect sizes (Cohen, 1988). A fourth study indicated that these findings are not intuitively obvious to most laypersons since only one in four laypeople (24%) anticipated these findings (and…

Yes? Your point: >>The point of all of this, I feel is that to many people, the epiphany the article is making was quite obvious, although it is neat to see this quantified. Their Point: >> A fourth study indicated that these findings are not intuitively obvious to most laypersons since only one in four laypeople (24%) anticipated these findings (and with most people predicting no gender difference). Your point and t…

I guess how I looked at it was comparing the 24% vs the 14% to compare the fact that those who did perceive a difference leaned almost 2:1 towards the idea that males had a more positive view vs females.

To me I find that anyone thinking that there are no differences between the sexes:

>Of the 487 participants, 62% (n = 302) indicated that they did not believe in the gender difference.

Are the ignorant majority and would rather focus on those who were smart enough to perceive a difference and then which way those people were leaning.

I am probably falling into my own bias doing it this way, I am no statistician and just wanted to explain my reasoning on this.

I do agree with you that 24% out of the entirety of the study is a clear minority.

I guess I should have phrased it better, "The point of all of this, I feel is that to many people who are not ignorant to the differences in sex, the epiphany of this article was something quite obvious" or something like that.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#226

Post by dang »

fabiofzero wrote: post #129

That's because cis men in general are trash. Since 90% of the audience here is cis male this comment will be downvoted into limbo, thus confirming the statement.

We ban accounts that post like this to HN. Would you please review https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and take the spirit of this site to heart when commenting? We'd be grateful.

Edit: unfortunately the vast majority of your comments to HN have been unsubstantive, and many have broken the guidelines. We ban accounts that post like that, so please don't post like that.

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#227

Post by dang »

freejulian85 wrote: post #21
nine_k wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sexes, not genders. Sexes are biological: chromosomes, hormones, body morphology. Genders are social: baby boys and girls have definite sexes, but their gender identifies are not the same as of grown-up straight men and women, to say nothing of genderqueer people, etc My hope is that the biological aspects are still in the realm of science.

Get a life.

Personal attacks are not ok on HN. We ban accounts that do that.

There are lots of (correctly) flagged comments in this miserable thread, but I'm afraid you've been breaking the site guidelines repeatedly. Could you please review https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and take the spirit of this site to heart so we don't have to ban you again?

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#228

Post by mikelyons »

I have had some amazing relationships with amazing women, and looking back, I didn't always understand at the time the exact cause of the breakup, but knew it was my fault.

Now I understand that it was always my immaturity and selfishness that was causing it.

I still have a lot of Love for all those women who put up with me while I was growing (and continue to).

Some will never speak to me again though ...

Re: Men View Their Ex-Partners More Favorably Than Women Do: Study

#229

Post by koheripbal »

mikelyons wrote: post #228

I have had some amazing relationships with amazing women, and looking back, I didn't always understand at the time the exact cause of the breakup, but knew it was my fault. Now I understand that it was always my immaturity and selfishness that was causing it. I still have a lot of Love for all those women who put up with me while I was growing (and continue to). Some will never speak to me again though ...

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex and relationships.

The instinctual influence over men to have sex with multiple partners, I believe influences their desire to still "feel good" about prior partners.

...whereas a woman's instinctual desire to find a man to protect her offspring influences her desire to "feel bad" about prior partners who didn't stick around.

Of course, we're above these instincts cognitively, but it's folly to think they have no influence on our emotional association to past partners.

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