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Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

thetimes.co.uk

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Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#391

Post by crimsonalucard »

AstralStorm wrote: post #390
crimsonalucard wrote: post #380

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would say you're the biological anomaly. Humans are social creatures. Much or our society is defined by our achievements as a group then individually. I would say the op very accurately describes a general problem.

Calling north of 16% of world population an anomaly stinks of racism. Most people are not extroverts either, but extroverts in western culture get a pat on the back and a raise. Not as much elsewhere. It's not a binary variable, but a spectrum.

Calling me a racist stinks of accusatory witch hunting. You can lose a job for this kind of thing and you dare to call me that? You don't go around accusing people people of smelling like a nazi yet you can go around saying that I smell like a racist?

Let me be utterly clear with you. I am not racist. Not one bone of my body is. And it is an extreme and personal insult to suggest that I am. There will be no further communication between us.

You second paragraph seems to continue onto an informed discussion that's not going to continue because of the immature comment in your first sentence.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#392

Post by bildung »

jcims wrote: post #194
bildung wrote: post #186

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is an important point for jcims' situation: If you want your kids to get out, then get out yourself. You have to be a role model for getting out - both in the sense that the kids see that you had fun doing so and as a model for the skills used to master the situation (e.g. casually talking to people, gift culture, helping each other out and so on. The specifics obviously differ for different (sub-)cultures). The…

I sort of agree with this but my parents constantly had people over when I was a kid. That and my oldest daughter is a raging socialite at college, lead RA, secretary for the university student govt, just got invited to box seats with the university executive leadership for a football game, has 3-4 friend groups and a core couple deep friends that she meets constantly. A little nature a little nurture, but to be clea…

Yes, we are in full agreement here :) The parental role model part won't override the Big Five in most cases. Parental behaviour does help in expanding the possibilty space a bit, though (e.g. an extravert can - to a certain degree - learn to relax while being alone and vice versa).

The other caveeat I conveniently ignored is that parents are usually adults, so the image they provide is for adult behaviour. Kids won't necessarily transfer that fully into their current situation. It does shape their inner image of adult behaviour, though (which starts to become more relevant as the kids enter the early teenager years).

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#393

Post by rconti »

goatinaboat wrote: post #134
rconti wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed that it's clickbaity. I already felt bad for the (smaller) proportion of women who would be turned off by this headline, and then when you read the actual article, it's 12% of women and "almost one in five which would be 20%) of men. So, men's rate is not even double womens'. Don't get me wrong, both numbers are serious, and I agree it's a lot harder for us men. It's just that, particularly in the case of such…

You are illustrating the problem which is that men are “not allowed” to have problems. There are plenty of things, such as unrealistic body image portrayed by the media, that affect both men and women, yet women claim it exclusively as theirs, because men aren’t supposed to. Can’t men have a thing?

I'm illustrating the problem, which is that we have to decide that one gender or group has "a thing" to the exclusion of everyone else.

I don't see how your solution of "men hav[ing this] thing" helps men who have body image issues, nor women who don't feel they have close friends.

It's not like the dude with body image issues is saying "oh, thank god my problems would be recognized if only my issue were a lack of close friends."

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#394

Post by stagas »

crimsonalucard wrote: post #391
AstralStorm wrote: post #390

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Calling north of 16% of world population an anomaly stinks of racism. Most people are not extroverts either, but extroverts in western culture get a pat on the back and a raise. Not as much elsewhere. It's not a binary variable, but a spectrum.

Calling me a racist stinks of accusatory witch hunting. You can lose a job for this kind of thing and you dare to call me that? You don't go around accusing people people of smelling like a nazi yet you can go around saying that I smell like a racist? Let me be utterly clear with you. I am not racist. Not one bone of my body is. And it is an extreme and personal insult to suggest that I am. There will be no further c…

You go around calling people biological anomalies and you're pretending to be the victim in this situation? Jeez.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#395

Post by Hermandw »

AstralStorm wrote: post #390
crimsonalucard wrote: post #380

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would say you're the biological anomaly. Humans are social creatures. Much or our society is defined by our achievements as a group then individually. I would say the op very accurately describes a general problem.

Calling north of 16% of world population an anomaly stinks of racism. Most people are not extroverts either, but extroverts in western culture get a pat on the back and a raise. Not as much elsewhere. It's not a binary variable, but a spectrum.

Unfortunately most people don't realize or understand that almost all the variables of being human lies on a spectrum. This includes length, weight, body type, colour, gender, sexuality, gregariousness, aptitudes, interests, intelligence, etc. Calling someone an anomaly for falling on one end of any of these traits is definitely ignorance and discrimination akin to racism.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#396

Post by pkalinowski »

jriot wrote: post #388
throwawawathrow wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Lol no it's not. Mean age when having one's first child is 29+ among EU women: https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/web/products-eurostat-news/-/D... Also keep in mind that this age is inversely correlated with education level, so among the typical HN crowd and their social circles (among which I expect people often have a college degree or even a PhD) it's even higher.

I have two advanced degrees, my wife has a bachelors degree, and we've been married since we were 21/20 (now both 34) and have two school-aged kids.

Statistics vs "I have"

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#397

Post by Smithalicious »

AstralStorm wrote: post #390
crimsonalucard wrote: post #380

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would say you're the biological anomaly. Humans are social creatures. Much or our society is defined by our achievements as a group then individually. I would say the op very accurately describes a general problem.

Calling north of 16% of world population an anomaly stinks of racism. Most people are not extroverts either, but extroverts in western culture get a pat on the back and a raise. Not as much elsewhere. It's not a binary variable, but a spectrum.

Introverts are a race?

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#398

Post by johnchristopher »

Waterluvian wrote: post #39
paganel wrote: post #5

As a man is pretty damn hard keeping friends after the age of 30, especially if you happen to go trough a divorce when suddenly more than half (if not more) of your friends get to “choose” the other side. Yeah, you get to ask your friends back from high-school or college out for a beer but chances are they’re also in a middle of a divorce or they’re too busy with family requirements (can’t blame them) or too stressed…

The unsettling thing is how normal your comment makes divorce sound, and how much statistics back that up. As if it's just a thing that is an expected part of life. People need to stop getting married, or at least not so early. Marriage is a very intensive (and rewarding) commitment that I think most modern people cannot make. Instead, foster relationships that matter for as long as they matter. I was in a serious re…

> Marriage is a very intensive (and rewarding) commitment that I think most modern people cannot make.

I just want to nit-pick and put the emphasis on the modern world rather than the modern people ^^.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#399

Post by chrisseaton »

icebraining wrote: post #367
chrisseaton wrote: post #257

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can always have meetings inside working hours if you’re prepared to expand working hours either side as much as needed like that! In the modern international economy you’re going to have to be a bit flexible with hours.

Moving the hours around (from 9-5 to 8-4 or 10-6) is not expanding them, and it's already being flexible.

I don't get it then - you asked when do people have meetings outside normal working hours as if it was some sort of travesty that nobody would 'have the gall' to do, and now you're saying it's absolutely fine you just move your hours around...

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#400

Post by Ma8ee »

Abishek_Muthian wrote: post #381
Ma8ee wrote: post #290

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why is high productivity important to you? This is an honest question.

I was running a startup quite successfully for 5 years as a single founder, single executive from an environment without a startup ecosystem. I recruited and trained employees personally; productivity became a necessity and a habit. Had to close the startup due to physical health problems, now that I'm rebuilding my life I guess productivity has become more important.

Of course productivity is important, but it isn't an end in itself. Neither are high incomes or appearences of success. If you are lonely and have to sacrifice your health you really have to start thinking about what it is all for.
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