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Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

thetimes.co.uk

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Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#41

Post by whatshisface »

TazeTSchnitzel wrote: post #37
rconti wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed that it's clickbaity. I already felt bad for the (smaller) proportion of women who would be turned off by this headline, and then when you read the actual article, it's 12% of women and "almost one in five which would be 20%) of men. So, men's rate is not even double womens'. Don't get me wrong, both numbers are serious, and I agree it's a lot harder for us men. It's just that, particularly in the case of such…

Focussing on men risks feeding the whole “men are victims of feminism” narrative.

I don't see how that's relevant to this article, it's talking about friends, not wives.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#42

Post by repiret »

whatshisface wrote: post #7
jamesb93 wrote: post #2

Sounds like a result of increasingly drab and formalised work environments.

Work friends aren't real friends because what happens if you get fired?

Sometimes work friends become real friends.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#43

Post by Yoric »

TazeTSchnitzel wrote: post #37
rconti wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed that it's clickbaity. I already felt bad for the (smaller) proportion of women who would be turned off by this headline, and then when you read the actual article, it's 12% of women and "almost one in five which would be 20%) of men. So, men's rate is not even double womens'. Don't get me wrong, both numbers are serious, and I agree it's a lot harder for us men. It's just that, particularly in the case of such…

Focussing on men risks feeding the whole “men are victims of feminism” narrative.

In this context, I find this unlikely.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#44

Post by cameronbrown »

xenihn wrote: post #30
cameronbrown wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I fail to see how that's relevant to making friends.

I've made a few friends through OLD and hookups. It's simply not an option for most men.

Okay, fair points. I can imagine it's a tough situation to be in.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#45

Post by grawprog »

paganel wrote: post #5

As a man is pretty damn hard keeping friends after the age of 30, especially if you happen to go trough a divorce when suddenly more than half (if not more) of your friends get to “choose” the other side. Yeah, you get to ask your friends back from high-school or college out for a beer but chances are they’re also in a middle of a divorce or they’re too busy with family requirements (can’t blame them) or too stressed…

Even without going through a divorce it's hard. Most of my friends over the years and I have mostly lost touch other than happy birthdays and the occasional 'hey what's going on? We should hang out some time when we're both not busy' But, understandably, people are tired or busy with things and it never really works out. My coworker's lives are all pretty different from mine. Either they're young, early 20's and I can't really relate to them and they're doing their thing or they're older and spend their time with their families. I've tried making friends online in different places, it sort of ends up being the same though, you talk for a while frequently, then you both get busy or whatever.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#46

Post by daenz »

throwaway66920 wrote: post #17

The article states 18% of men had no close friends, significantly higher than women at 12%. Honestly that’s doesn’t sound hugely different to me. For every two women with none, there’s three men with none. The gap is a bit smaller for best friends too.

>The gap is a bit smaller for best friends too.

It's not: 32% for men, 24% for women. Also, this attitude is why "men are the disposable gender" is a thing. Real problems that are correlated with men are dismissed and ignored as not significant.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#47

Post by qes »

I disagree with the apparent premise (article's paywalled) that having no friends means you are lonely.

I have no friends that I'm not also in a romantic relationship with, and I wouldn't call myself lonely at all outside of a rare fleeting feeling here and there.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#48

Post by holdenc »

swiley wrote: post #28

If you're an average single man the world hates you. The public considers you a liability that has to be written off in order to stay consistent and most people expect you to hurt them in some way.

Yes, but move to a country with an economy drastically less developed than your own, and your fortunes may change.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#49

Post by Gibbon1 »

dleslie wrote: post #35
chrisseaton wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't you have any hobbies that give you a social life outside your work or family?

A great many people in the USA work well beyond 40h a week, and have a few hours of daily commute time on top of that. For them the weekends are for recovery; there is no physical or emotional energy for social engagement or self care.

My opinion, most of the united states communal infrastructure is a wasteland.

Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found

#50

Post by dleslie »

theferalrobot wrote: post #20

I just switched from a job where I could work from home anytime I wanted (which meant everyone on my team did so 100% of the time) to a job that requires everyone to be in the office 90% of the time because I want more face-to-face human interaction in my life. The convenience was great but, on the whole, it made me less happy.

I've been working from home for nearly five years now; it's been fantastically convenient while I raise my daughters.

While I have found that my adult social interactions are severely limited, I am no worse off than my old friends; one of whom remarked that after moving to Montreal he's seeing friends and family just as often as he did before.

Where I find adult interaction is in more traditional venues: I made an effort to get to know my neighbours, and am acquainted with some staff and patrons at the local pub.

The key was not to rely on scheduled events; too many adults will ghost or reject because they feel too busy or weary to attend. Impromptu social interaction works better; have a beer with your neigh bour.

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