Men have acquaintances.
Women have friends, with all the emotional baggage that entails.
Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
31–40 of 440 posts
Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
#32Become an alcoholic... Join AA.. Boom!!! More friends than you can imagine :)
In all seriousness... I hear this all the time in the rooms... loneliness is a killer. What's crazy is I have a sponsee, who specifically wanted to get sober cause the loneliness was driving him insane. Any reason to get sober and stay is a good reason in my book.
Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
#33As a man is pretty damn hard keeping friends after the age of 30, especially if you happen to go trough a divorce when suddenly more than half (if not more) of your friends get to “choose” the other side. Yeah, you get to ask your friends back from high-school or college out for a beer but chances are they’re also in a middle of a divorce or they’re too busy with family requirements (can’t blame them) or too stressed…
I sometimes wonder if I’m broken when I see comments like yours, which seem heartfelt and correct and as it should be (the desire for friendships that is). Maybe it’s because my wife and kids fill the void, but I just have no interest in making or maintaining friendships. My wife has a really cool coworker that tries to get me out of the house but i just kinda flop on him. I live in a secluded spot that you can’t see from the road and work from home 95% of the time.
I see it in my youngest daughter as well, and I do worry for her and am applying gentle pressure to get her to socialize...but I’m pretty much good to go. Maybe things will change down the road but I’m in my mid 40’s sooo.
Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
#34I find it interesting that men seem to be at the polar ends of the friendship spectrum. When lonely, they are the most lonely, and also when they have friendship claim higher levels of trust in those relationships than women would. Women who express feelings of loneliness tend to have more human connections than men expressing similar feelings. Women claiming to have good friendships still do not indicate high levels…
>Women who express feelings of loneliness tend to have more human connections than men expressing similar feelings. I wonder why though?
There's a difference between feeling lonely and actually being lonely.
Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
#35As a man is pretty damn hard keeping friends after the age of 30, especially if you happen to go trough a divorce when suddenly more than half (if not more) of your friends get to “choose” the other side. Yeah, you get to ask your friends back from high-school or college out for a beer but chances are they’re also in a middle of a divorce or they’re too busy with family requirements (can’t blame them) or too stressed…
Don't you have any hobbies that give you a social life outside your work or family?
A great many people in the USA work well beyond 40h a week, and have a few hours of daily commute time on top of that.
For them the weekends are for recovery; there is no physical or emotional energy for social engagement or self care.
Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
#36What is the point of posting articles that are behind paywalls? Why isn't it against HN rules? Is it a test of just how many people actually try to read the articles they're responding to?
Have fun conversing about a headline...
Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
#37I read here that loneliness is a significant problem for people in general within the modern world, and somewhat moreso for men. Headline seems a bit clickbaity, as the issue is clearly not exclusive, and the percentage difference relatively small.
Agreed that it's clickbaity. I already felt bad for the (smaller) proportion of women who would be turned off by this headline, and then when you read the actual article, it's 12% of women and "almost one in five which would be 20%) of men. So, men's rate is not even double womens'. Don't get me wrong, both numbers are serious, and I agree it's a lot harder for us men. It's just that, particularly in the case of such…
Focussing on men risks feeding the whole “men are victims of feminism” narrative.
Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
#38I just switched from a job where I could work from home anytime I wanted (which meant everyone on my team did so 100% of the time) to a job that requires everyone to be in the office 90% of the time because I want more face-to-face human interaction in my life. The convenience was great but, on the whole, it made me less happy.
how about joining the gym instead?
I’ve been going to the gym at least 4 days a week for years. Unless you’re into a specific niche thing it’s hard to socialize. I’ve found it easier to talk to others after getting into powerlifting.
Most people at the gym have headphones in and are grinding out a workout as quickly as they can because they’re busy. At least that’s how it feels in SF.
Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
#39As a man is pretty damn hard keeping friends after the age of 30, especially if you happen to go trough a divorce when suddenly more than half (if not more) of your friends get to “choose” the other side. Yeah, you get to ask your friends back from high-school or college out for a beer but chances are they’re also in a middle of a divorce or they’re too busy with family requirements (can’t blame them) or too stressed…
The unsettling thing is how normal your comment makes divorce sound, and how much statistics back that up. As if it's just a thing that is an expected part of life.
People need to stop getting married, or at least not so early. Marriage is a very intensive (and rewarding) commitment that I think most modern people cannot make. Instead, foster relationships that matter for as long as they matter.
I was in a serious relationship from 19-25. These things end because people change a lot in those years. We both graduated and went in different directions. Which I think is perfectly fine. Relationships will change. You can absolutely start new ones. Join pretty much any club that meets in person. Commit time to those who enrich your life, cut loose those who harm it.
Re: Almost one in five men admits to having no close friends, a survey has found
#40As a man is pretty damn hard keeping friends after the age of 30, especially if you happen to go trough a divorce when suddenly more than half (if not more) of your friends get to “choose” the other side. Yeah, you get to ask your friends back from high-school or college out for a beer but chances are they’re also in a middle of a divorce or they’re too busy with family requirements (can’t blame them) or too stressed…
Don't you have any hobbies that give you a social life outside your work or family?
Hobbies might not be sufficient for a social life.
I used to train seriously in mixed-martial arts. While I had no issue with any of my training mates, I also had zero interest in hanging out with them. Likewise for other, strictly cerebral, activities.