Coincidental; going to therapy for the first time today.
Good luck! Hope you enjoy it and it helps :)
Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
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Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
#112Earlier quoted context omitted.
Welcome. I spent the last 6 months doing exactly the same thing and was able to create enough time to start the company I've been talking about for years. Social media is a curse on our society's mental wellbeing, even if it can be a very useful tool in spreading important information. I'm actually working on a book which documents my process I developed to do this for myself. Mental models, different perspectives on…
I'd love to read it when you've finished it! Approaching it from changing mental models, perspectives and learning new skills is how we view mental health issues management/prevention. If you're interested in this angle, you should try out one of our sessions at Mindset. It'd be really great to hear what you think of them.
I'm not a writer so I'll let you know when it happens. It may be years from now, but I'm steadily working on it! :)
I'll check out Mindset, thanks. (I couldn't find it on google, send a link if you don't mind)
Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
#113Most therapists are well-meaning but have no idea what they’re doing. You’re just paying somebody to be your friend for 50 minutes a week. A competent therapist should help you get results in 6-8 sessions, faster if they really know what they’re doing. If you seeing a therapist and you’re not getting results, you’re wasting your money.
It’s the difference between brief therapy, where you’re learning specific coping skills and is much more solution focused, and talk therapy which is much more problem focused.
Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
#114Earlier quoted context omitted.
Welcome. I spent the last 6 months doing exactly the same thing and was able to create enough time to start the company I've been talking about for years. Social media is a curse on our society's mental wellbeing, even if it can be a very useful tool in spreading important information. I'm actually working on a book which documents my process I developed to do this for myself. Mental models, different perspectives on…
Update your profile with an email address! I’d love to stay in touch.
Sure!
Edit: done! Can't wait to hear from you, I'd love some more ideas to put into the book.
Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
#115Earlier quoted context omitted.
Where can I find someone that will pay me a living wage to read fantasy novels, go to the gym, play video games, and occasionally travel?
A friend of mine was a video game producer for about 15 years... kinds sounds like his job?? Except he was a dad and not a gym rat, YMMV.
Making video games is not even remotely similar to playing video games.
Source: I work in the game dev industry. It’s brutal.
Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
#116Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.
The only problem with this point of view is that, effectively, you have painted a sort of target on your back. As you say, not everyone goes to therapy (even though they should). Therefore, there is still a stigma associated with those who do choose to go to therapy.
That wouldn't be so bad, except there are consequences to going to therapy. Paperwork and records are generated. There are certain positions where you have to disclose any therapy that you've received (see for example Section 21 on the SF-86: https://www.opm.gov/forms/pdf_fill/sf86.pdf). Then, you answer that truthfully, and your paperwork leaked. You are supposed to be open and honest with your therapist, but can you do that in good faith? Knowing that truly anything you say can come back and haunt you in the future? Even if you work through those issues and they are firmly in the past?
There needs to be a way for people to truly feel secure and talk through troubling thoughts without fear of reprisal. I have personally avoided going to therapy for the fear that I would be denied opportunities if it was disclosed that I had a "mental illness".
It's the same reason I refuse to obtain genetic testing or DNA sequencing for myself; if I do that and, as a result, I learn that I am potentially at risk for an illness/cancer/whatever due to my genetic makeup, undoubtedly some life or health insurance policy will use that information against me to deny coverage in the future. So I remain ignorant out of fear.
Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
#117I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…
Great comment and kudos to you, but a couple thoughts on the following: “Eliminate things from your life that don’t bring you joy and happiness.” I see this sentiment a lot in the techie self-help sphere, along with corrolaries like “ruthlessly eliminate negative people”. While I understand the motivation and agree it is true up to a point, it can also lead to a shallow and avoidant approach to life if you get carrie…
> “Eliminate things from your life that don’t bring you joy and happiness.”
The key here is to have a long-term view of this. Obviously this doesn't mean to disown your relationships with anybody who didn't bring you joy this week, but you should look at the history of the relationship, and how you think the relationship will be in the future, and decide whether or not the relationship is really a value add in your life.
Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
#118Every minute spent not fighting climate apocalypse is a fucking waste of time. And I waste most of my time, because I can't find a way to fight while staying solvent (this month I'm buying a roof to fix the leaky one, for instance). In another thread the clathrate gun is about to go off big time https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21026051 Anxiety is pretty warranted when you're literally looking at the end of civil…
You might find this CNN article about a 16 year old Greta Thunberg speaking with Congress and what all she's doing about climate change interesting. https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/20/us/greta-thunberg-profile-wei... Some quotes that stuck out to me: In response to a representative asking how to get more kids involved: "Just tell them the truth," she said. "Tell them how it is. Because when I found out how it actually is…
Thanks, that is indeed interesting. I think part of the appeal of her message is that she resists the infantilizing, condescending BS politicians try to dump on her with remarkable skill.
Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
#119There is no difference between drinking booze and staring at your phone. Both are used to shut off the thoughts bouncing in your head and escape your problems if only for a bit - except with a phone you can do it all the time, while walking, while waiting in a coffee line. It's an addiction just like any other.
Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy
#120I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…
> I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change Yes, this is exactly it! Perfectly summarized my day-to-day after doing everything you listed on that first paragraph. Hackernews a few times a day at most for no more than 5 minutes at a time is all the social media for me. Not seeing a therapist or anything but my outdoor activities are therapy for me personally, in their own way. Started ridin…
People are afraid to be left alone with their own thoughts even for a minute.... It's just terrifying to them. They cannot confront them head on, so they whip out their phone and check Instagram. Oh, look, a dog!