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Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

nytimes.com

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Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#71

Post by protonimitate »

whalesalad wrote: post #39

I deleted all my tweets. Killed the app. Killed the Reddit app. Killed Instagram. Killed Facebook. I need to reactivate FB and do a dump of my data, but I’m dreading that. I just want the photos. I’m finding solace in boredom and using that as a catalyst for change. I’ve been reading more, already finished three books in the last few weeks. I’m on a mission to pour rocket fuel on my personal consulting business. I’m…

The value of boredom cannot be overstated.

The "always on" culture that has become prevalent in the past decade has, in my opinion, contributed greatly rising angst/anxiety/stress.

We don't give our brains any time to rest anymore. Most people start and end the day by injecting thousands of images, words, and ideas into their thoughts via screens with no time to process and "clear the queue" so to speak.

I've start implementing "nothing" days once every two to three weeks. These days are spent with absolute 0 screen time. At first it was extremely difficult to detach, but after the first couple hours of the day, I start to feel more centered and at ease. Reading, talking, getting out of the house, sitting on a park bench, visiting a museum, investing time in a hobby - all these things help remind me WHY I spend so many waking hours working and being connected.

I won't ever advocate for the complete removal of technology from all aspects of life. But, as in all things, boundaries are very important.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#72

Post by viburnum »

Most therapists are well-meaning but have no idea what they’re doing. You’re just paying somebody to be your friend for 50 minutes a week. A competent therapist should help you get results in 6-8 sessions, faster if they really know what they’re doing. If you seeing a therapist and you’re not getting results, you’re wasting your money.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#73

Post by Raphmedia »

The best way I can describe therapy to a tech oriented person is this:

Therapy is rubber-ducking for your brain and thinking patterns.

Sure, you can figure the bugs by yourself but you often get stuck in your ways of thinking which make you blind to them.

The therapist is the equivalent of a senior brain & behavior engineer. Use them, talk to them. Talk about your quirks and your bugs.

You may think you have a perfect solution, but that solution is most likely flawed. You wouldn't expect a software to debug itself. You wouldn't expect a junior to fix huge breaking issues.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#74

Post by singhrac »

jmpman wrote: post #66
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Go drink some beers with your friends who don’t work with you. It’s cheaper.

Many people feel that burdening their friends with their problems isn't easy. This is more complicated than it seems - even if you're ok venting a few times to your friend, could you do it every week for a year? Also, is your friend equipped to deal with difficult emotional questions (what if they've never been depressed?). Professional therapists, while expensive, do fill a role.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#75

Post by badrequest »

jmpman wrote: post #66
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Go drink some beers with your friends who don’t work with you. It’s cheaper.

At the height of my depression, I didn't feel like ever leaving bed, much less trying to corral a bunch of friends into somewhere they weren't going to be already. Also, my therapist is a $20 co-pay, which is way cheaper than going to the bar. This non-answer just demonstrates your lack of perspective.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#77

Post by nickthemagicman »

computerphysics wrote: post #8

Why are they anxious? that's the question ... “There’s a lot of anxiety. How could you not have that? Tech companies are fueling some of the most egregious human-rights abuses.”

I think its more the nature of the work. Ambiguous time required to solve a problem. Constantly changing tools and disposable knowledge base. Disposable output. etc.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#78

Post by cicciop »

As somebody who's recently started going to therapy (and a tech worker), I'm skeptical that apps will help -- most of the point is being able to talk to a real person, in a real place, and get honest feedback.

This said, therapy is not as "modern" as people think. Catholic confession has been around for literally millennia, and it basically had that same role: one guy will listen to your deepest thoughts and shames, absolve you from guilt, and discuss ways for you to be a better person. It's just that we now know how to do it without all the religious baggage.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#79

Post by whalesalad »

viburnum wrote: post #72

Most therapists are well-meaning but have no idea what they’re doing. You’re just paying somebody to be your friend for 50 minutes a week. A competent therapist should help you get results in 6-8 sessions, faster if they really know what they’re doing. If you seeing a therapist and you’re not getting results, you’re wasting your money.

This is important. Finding a therapist is like finding a significant other. It needs to be a relationship where you are comfortable with one another. It takes time to find the right person. I’m happy with who I am seeing now, but my eyes are wide open to the idea that it still might not be the correct approach for me.

So... don’t be afraid to fire your therapist if it isn’t working. Trust your gut.

Re: Anxious tech workers are going to therapy

#80

Post by zrail »

whatshisface wrote: post #11
vincent-toups wrote: post #4

Everyone should go to therapy. I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't need to talk things out, from time to time, with a semi-objective, third party. Most of us were raised by imperfect people trying their best who still made a lot of mistakes. Even people who had really prepared parents probably experienced things which might have left us with some unresolved issues. Go see a therapist. Its not a big deal.

Can't people without medical grade issues talk to their wife/husband?

Your spouse is not your therapist. They're not detached. They're biased. They don't have training (unless they're a licensed therapist, in which case they are definitely not your therapist). You can't get useful advice from your spouse when you need help coping with your spouse's issues.
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