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Ask HN: Are you ok?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#711

Post by _9vpl »

mdorazio wrote: post #675
kerkeslager wrote: post #608

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Start your own business, work fewer hours, and take the cut in pay. That's what I did, and I have no regrets. It's the best decision I ever made.

In my experience this is pretty bad advice for a lot of people. Starting a business is 1) almost always more time consuming and stress-inducing than working a normal job, 2) tends to end up being 20% the stuff you enjoy doing and 80% the stuff you don't, and 3) has an incredibly high chance of being really bad for you financially. A potentially better solution several of my friends have pursued to good effect is to g…

Sounds like Office Space. ICYMI, the main character quits his job at a tech company and works outside doing construction.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#712

Post by my_usernam3 »

rubicon33 wrote: post #408
djsumdog wrote: post #373

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mentioned the two friends who had the RV life. I meant to add that it helped they had jobs which allowed for remote work. It is a big investment too, as you're essentially buying a house that will go down in value. If you read my other comment, I mentioned people who did the same thing that were low income too. I'm not saying it's for everyone, but if you can get it to work with your current skills and situation it…

Fair enough. I just see posts like this often and, to me at least, they strike me as the "easy" answer. I don't have any good answer for if you are locked into a relationship, kids, etc... That's kinda the life you chose, and you gotta take the good with the bad. I guess?

Yeah those posts irk me too, but this one doesn't for two reasons.

1.) The general problems on this thread seem to be from professionals with good jobs, but feeling unfulfilled, depressed, lonely, ect. Thus it is a possibility for them.

2.) He opens with "this is why I did _____", and only talked about how it helped (and also hurt) HIM, not how EVERYONE should do this. Thanks for the post :)

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#713

Post by throwaway31338 »

aristophenes wrote: post #590
anon9001 wrote: post #562

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm blown away by that. How did you make the transition? I didn't know anyone transitioned from how I think about life to how you now think about it. I've got "love what you do and you'll never work a day in your life" filed somewhere between "atheism is just a phase" and "you'll want kids some day". I'm starting to think I've missed some key developmental step.

Please understand that I am saying this in a compassionate, not a judgmental way. I think the key developmental step is to be able to get over yourself. I think this is a fundamental part in becoming a mature person. Many of us are forced through this step against our will and maybe without realizing it. Either through our job, or significant other, or kids, or some other experience that just overwhelms you. Apparent…

Your "get over yourself" and "mature person" bits fill me with frustration and anger. I'm sorry for that, but it's there.

Being selfless is great. Hating the grind of a 40 hour / week job, versus "accepting" it has nothing to do with selflessness.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#714

Post by Bootwizard »

theanine wrote: post #55

Thanks for asking. Not really, and it's 100% work-related. I dread coming in to work and it's given me awful anxiety that's turned into occasional passive suicidal ideation. Once I leave work, I feel like a totally different person and all the symptoms disappear. My boss calls me stupid, incompetent, r*tarded, and "like you have part of your brain missing". He grills me on literally everything I do, like why I'm gett…

Holy crap you need to get out of there. I think literally any job can be better than that one. There is so much out there, just try hard and take the leap.

I hope you find something soon. Look outside your area for jobs that pay for relocation if you have been having trouble finding jobs in your area, or look for remote jobs. There are tons of remote jobs right now, it's a huge industry that a lot of people don't consider.

P.S. - GO TO HR, THEY CAN HELP. Your boss should be fired tomorrow for that bullshit.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#715

Post by shyish »

I"m not doing too well. Obligatory I'm doing better than many here, but I still feel that I have my own problems.

For one, I'm younger than many people here, so about a year from now I've got all of the fun of the college application process to look towards. This year I've started taking all of my classes at my state's university, which has been a very good experience academically, so for the first time there is a real feeling that my grades matter. This stems from two roots, first I have a feeling of imposter syndrome when it comes to learning and also I'm worried about being a class in which I have a hard time following the professor or the assignments seem unclear, which I am currently experiencing in one of my classes. Also, I still have activities at my high school before and after university, so I spend over two and a half hours every day commuting.

That ties into another of my problems, I feel like I over-invest in everything I do and it often hurts, though I have yet to be entirely burned by anything. Currently I'm on an FRC team, and have lead an initiative to put rookies through FTC and I'm the main student coordinator on that while feeling that I myself don't know enough or have the time to learn.

This post in itself has been disconcerting for me, I've always felt that my mindset is very similar to others on HN, just a decade or two younger, and I very much imagine being in similar situations to many here a few years from now. I'm struggling with questions such as whether I'll be able to get into top colleges, or even the worth of getting into such programs assuming that financial aid is hard to come by.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#716

Post by fuzz4lyfe »

linuxftw wrote: post #554
codingstuffs wrote: post #535

Appreciate the question. Not particularly - the work culture at my current employer is slowly killing me. I have managed (through meds/therapy) depression/anxiety. The startup I'm currently working for has no work/life balance, which is severely starting to affect my health. Engineers are on call all the time. Having to check email on nights and weekends is just a normal week now. There is very little task management…

That sucks. Personally, I would try to just do less, without asking. On call? Don't answer. They probably won't fire you if they're running like that because there will be no way to replace you. And if they do fire you, oh well, you were planning on quitting that job anyway. I would spend most of my time at that place applying to greener pastures. Interview during lunch, come back like an hour late, just tell them ca…

Well said. This lines up with my personal variant of the golden rule.

"Do unto others has they would do unto you"

Would the people running the business have you increase their profit margin at great personal cost to yourself? Then it is completely fair for you to likewise attempt to enrich yourself at their expense. I no longer do the work that would be best for the business, I try to find myself in the work that would look best on my resume.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#717

Post by DoreenMichele »

Not really.

I'm broke, as usual. I'm no longer homeless and no longer literally dying (health issue), but I can't say I'm exactly a happy camper.

I have $155 bill due in 3 days that I can't cover. My paycheck this week will be less than that. And then there's living expenses, like groceries. The cupboards are bare, again.

I do resume work, but I'm not good at promoting that. (And I blog, but my Patreon is underfunded. Ads are dead and I mostly don't use them.) I have personal barriers to making the business connections I need (health, gender, etc).

Same old, same old.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#718

Post by partomniscient »

dyadic wrote: post #242
toyg wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’d bet good money parent was talking about the UK. But yes, a lot of countries are like that at the moment.

Yes, I'm in the UK. And yes, it does appear to be worldwide.

It's like, what do you do after you realise The Hoax? : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2VIUcuF3KE

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#719

Post by fuzz4lyfe »

eq_sd_ wrote: post #569
AareyBaba wrote: post #545

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Googled "can you quit and file for unemployment". To qualify for unemployment, you must be out of work through no fault of your own. If you quit your job voluntarily, without good cause, you won't be eligible for unemployment benefits. However, if you are forced out and/or have good cause to quit, you may still be eligible for benefits, depending on the circumstances. https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/unemploym…

I was fired and filed for unemployment and reported that it was a hostile environment. The benefits were quickly approved and no questions were asked beyond what the form asked for.

I can second this. If OP wrote what he wrote here in the unemployment application I'm nearly certain he would get it. Worst case he may have a wait a few weeks (8 where I live I believe) before the benefits kick in.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#720

Post by dang »

hamiltonc wrote: post #539
teppifk wrote: post #471

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But you made the original claim, therefore the burden is on you to provide supporting evidence. Not really. This is not some magical incantation that compels me to do anything, nor does it make what I said wrong. And tip if you want to win at online forum logic argument wankery (not with me though), perhaps appeals to "stereotypes" and "personal experience" are not the best place to start.

Translation: I don't have any.

Please don't gang up on another user.
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