It is frustrating how this is driven by those first parents that have no limits. Kids complain that they don't want to be left out, normal, middle of the road parents cave in, thus forcing the hold out parents to eventually cave.
I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
71–80 of 114 posts
Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
#72Earlier quoted context omitted.
yeah, but let's not mix too many things together. you can have a smartphone (I don't) and be very miserable and lonely (i’m not). I bet that's even the daily experience of a lot teenagers. A smartphone may help to get in contact with people, but it's not a necessity by a far stretch. Again: a (sometimes painful) emotional and social education is what teenagers need. Soft skills are hard to learn.
Being a student, it really quite is a necessity. Group chats on Facebook / WhatsApp / Telegram are how people share experiences, learn, set up meetings or parties. All the people which I've met so far who didn't use those platforms were socially isolated. Not sure whether it's correlation or causation, it still does count. Obviously, having a smartphone won't magically bring you friends.
Anecdata, but I had the exact same experience refusing to use Facebook when it was trendy (was really young at the time). I caved after a year and it was like stepping into another world.
> Obviously, having a smartphone won't magically bring you friends.
No it won't - it's not necessarily social death to avoid these platforms, but it was an intense struggle to grow any friendship without it. You need to go where the people are talking to each other, even if you dislike where they're standing.
Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
#73I do wonder if the push to virtual interactions over physical ones is driven by the rise of afterschool care for kids in dual-income families. My kids are at home after school, but there are few other kids out playing. Most of the kids in our neighborhood aren't home in the afternoons, are there aren't groups of kids playing in the parks unsupervised. The parks are largely used by pre-school ages kids with nannies, or for family groups after dinner.
The smartphone allows kids to stay in contact with their friends even when they are otherwise occupied with sports, aftercare, etc. etc.
Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
#74Far be it from me to tell anyone how to raise their children, but here's my opinion on this matter.
First, it's about trust. Trust starts when they're infants. They cry, you show up. They cry, you show up. They have to know that when they have a need, you provide for it. Trust is also about leading by example. Be the person you want your children to be. If you don't want them on Facebook, don't be on Facebook. If you don't want them to use a smartphone at the table, don't bring yours to the table. Will this, in reality, mean they'll not use Facebook or bring their phones to the table? Maybe, maybe not. You don't want robots. You want independent humans. You're a guide, an example, that's all. Be the best one you can be. But when they do bring their phone to the table, you will have, from birth, built up enough trust to be able to have a conversation about it with them. They'll talk to you because they trust you. When you have a concern that you think they're forming an addiction to their phone, they'll talk to you, because you've earned their trust.
Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
#75Earlier quoted context omitted.
> My three kids will have attention spans and social skills, and will out-compete the smartphone-addicted children of these fools in every arena of adult life. until, you know, they decide to buy a smartphone as an adult, and over consume then
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Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
#76Far be it from me to tell anyone how to raise their children, but here's my opinion on this matter. First, it's about trust. Trust starts when they're infants. They cry, you show up. They cry, you show up. They have to know that when they have a need, you provide for it. Trust is also about leading by example. Be the person you want your children to be. If you don't want them on Facebook, don't be on Facebook. If you…
> They'll talk to you because they trust you
What if they don't? I've met a few parents who thought they had parenting nailed. Then they had another child.
Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
#77Smartphone addiction is like alcohol addiction. Why do some countries (the USA) have more problems than than others (the rest of the world)?
Because in most countries, a healthy, controlled exposure is what most teens experience, so that they learn how to handle alcohol responsibly.
In almost all of the USA, it's illegal to drink until you're 21.
Not teaching your children how to responsibly use a smartphone is the current problem.
Denying a child a smartphone, and then expecting them to magically be able to control such an addictive substance is arguably worse.
Be a better parent.
Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
#78My friend recently got his sons a smartphone and he says their relationship has been irrevocably damaged because of it. Not because they are rude, etc. But when they used to talk, now it's complete silence and them looking at their phones, chatting with their friends or girlfriends. He hates the phones now because there is no socialization whatsoever with his kids. The power of the phone is that strong, and he had su…
I don’t think this is about the smartphone so much as lack of etiquette around the smartphone.
Unless his son is too young to have a phone he should be able to discuss ettiquette like no phone at the dinner table or while we are talking.
Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
#79This is clearly written by an adult who forgot how most children behave. If they're the only ones without a smartphone, they'll be single out. Especially with how prevalent online communication has become. They might not be bullied (though they probably will be), but growing up as the outsider comes with is own can of worms. They'll most likely survive it, but it'll have it's effect... But everything has consequences…
I never got bullied for not having a phone. I used an iPod that I could text with on wifi.
Kids will just find a workaround.
Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones
#80Smartphone addiction is like alcohol addiction. Why do some countries (the USA) have more problems than than others (the rest of the world)? Because in most countries, a healthy, controlled exposure is what most teens experience, so that they learn how to handle alcohol responsibly. In almost all of the USA, it's illegal to drink until you're 21. Not teaching your children how to responsibly use a smartphone is the c…
Never been to the US, but I never had the impression that Americans had more problems with alcohol than, say, Europe (if anything the stereotype goes the opposite way). A quick google search seems to point that Americans die more of alcohol related accidents? That could be just because Americans drive more.