>INTRODUCING TOBACCO TO CIVILISATION ... https://monologues.co.uk/Bob_Newhart/Tobacco.htm
You can chew it!... or put it in a pipe!... or you can shred it up... and put it in a piece of paper. ha! ha! ha!... and roll it up. ha ha ha... Don't tell me, Walt, don't tell me. ha! ha! ha! you stick it in your ear, right? ha! ha! ha!...
Oh! between your lips!...
Then what do you do, Walt? ha! ha! ha!...
You set fire to it! ha! ha! ha!...
Then what do you do, Walt?...
Ha! ha! ha! You inhale the smoke, huh! ha! ha! ha!...
You know, Walt... it seems you can stand in front of your own fireplace and have the same thing going for you!
You see, Walt... we've been a little worried about you, y'know, ever since you put your cape down over that mud.
Y'see, Walt... I think you're gonna have rather a tough time selling people on sticking burning leaves in their mouthes...