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RIP Bill Zeller

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141–146 of 146 posts

Re: RIP Bill Zeller

#141

I've no business commenting on this as I haven't ever suffered a similar sort of trauma, you could argue. However I did start reading this note and found myself strongly flustered at this part: I thought that if I got into to a good college, or a good grad school, or lost weight, or went to the gym nearly every day for a year, or created programs that millions of people used, or spent a summer or California or New Yo…

This is one of the most insightful comments I've read on this forum.

Re: RIP Bill Zeller

#142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While reading the suicide note, and the 2 threads on this, i could not help wondering many many times how much it would have helped Bill had he read the Power of Now. One problem i notice is that people who are stuck in a problem, keep trying the same solution for decades even though its not worked. We need to look at our problem from other angles and be open to new solutions.

That's exactly why depression is so hard to shake. You beat yourself up repeatedly without even knowing it and wonder why the heck you can't just snap out of it. Sometimes I wonder how my counselor deals with telling me the same thing again and again for months. And then I sign her check :) Seems like this is a book worth checking out, thanks!

Its only worth it if you practice it. And it gets easier with practice. Since you mention your counselor, i assume you have been depressed. One big problem (to put it briefly) is that often depressed people identify with their depression/sadness and don't wish to leave it. They are their biggest enemy. You have to be willing to give it up. At the expense of sounding cliched, the only price to pay for happiness, is your unhappiness/misery and for many, its a huge price. Best of luck. Happiness and freedom do exist. What Bill Zeller spoke off does exist and is possible.

> "I will never know what uncontimated intimacy is like. I will never have an exclusive bond with someone, someone who can be the recipient of all the love I have to give."

So much of what he talks of, even i have suffered _without_ having been sexually abused. He did not realize that many feeling/thoughts he had, come and go in all humans, if they come to his mind. It's fine to just ignore them like all the dust that flies about us.

Please also check out the youtubes of one Mooji. They have greatly deepened my practice.

Re: RIP Bill Zeller

#143

This might be a good time to mention that we are looking for volunteers for http://CompassionPit.com/ . It was created by people who have struggled with depression for most of their life. The other day someone commented about it, "I used CompassionPit for the first time this week. I really like the idea of it. Reminds me of when I reached out to an online videogame friend when I was 12 years old when I was super depr…

I'm sorry, but I think that it's a terrible idea. If it ever gets popular, it will get swamped by trolls from Something Awful, 4Chan, and other cesspools. The last thing you need is for someone to go looking for help and have someone go "LOL KILL YOURSELF." Followed by rude language.

I believe that that problem could be mitigated by some kind of a reputation system. I am not saying that it is a simple problem, it should be given a lot more thought.

Re: RIP Bill Zeller

#144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You assume that he was able to apply logic to his emotional sensibilities. Because of what happened to him, this could never be the case. The darkness, as he called it, enveloped his reason. One of a host of horrific and sad consequences of his suffering.

Because of what happened to him, this could never be the case. No, not because of what happened to him, because almost nobody thinks that way in our society so there's no reason why he would. Is there anything in your life which hurts to think about? Have you ever dedicated yourself to working out why it hurts and how to stop it hurting, or do you continually avoid thinking about it? I'm guessing that there is, and t…

Actually, I do this often - I often think about why something is bothering me or why a particular incident hurt me or offended me. Maybe because I'm pretty introspective, I literally don't know how to put off things that bother me because they are ever present in my mind.

And I do assume that it's fixable because, at one point, I was not bothered or unhappy or depressed. So I assume that whatever it is that's upsetting me, I can find out the cause, fix it, and return to being ok.

Re: RIP Bill Zeller

#145
My perps were never caught either. I identify with a lot of the feelings he illustrated in this letter. It's bringing tears to my eyes. It is so hard to explain something as controversial as this to people who have never experienced or do not understand it, and Bill did a momentous job. Rest in peace, Bill Zeller, and I wish for a moment that I believed in some kind of afterlife, because you deserve heaven after all this hell you've been through.

Re: RIP Bill Zeller

#146
post #94
post #58

I think he should have joined doctors without borders, peace corps or whatever it is called, or one of those Christian mission (even though he had a problem with Christians) . He may have found peace in helping those who suffered more then him

Do you really think most of the people doctors without borders helped suffered as much as he did?

Yes.
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