131–140 of 146 posts
'You may wonder why I didn't just talk to a professional about this. I've seen a number of doctors since I was a teenager to talk about other issues and I'm positive that another doctor would not have helped. I was never given one piece of actionable advice, ever.' I hate that word 'actionable'. Every time I hear it used it is with the implicit assumption that the only information of value is information that is dire…
Many thoughts that flashed through my mind as I read the suicide note, but I decided to file them all away and share only this old story: The old town drunk died. His two sons, the bank president and the new town drunk were at his funeral. An onlooker, surprised at how different the two sons were, asked each one how he turned out the way he did. The bank president responded, "With a father like that, how else could I…
I run a successful web firm, and am outwardly a happy-go-lucky manic-type person - out of public view, I drink and brood.
Conversely, my younger brother, who lives with me, is a melodramatic, miserable guy outwardly, but has this inner happiness and contentedness that I've never understood, and have always both envied and feared.
We balance.
We both had equally fucked up childhoods in different ways - I had a father who would beat me and lock me outside in the snow, naked, on Christmas - he had no father of which to speak. I had a cowed, frightened animal of a mother, who'd claw and shriek, he had a mother so fucked up on christ knows what that she just didn't care.
Anyway - went on more of a tangent there than I intended - my point is that more people than you can ever possibly know are "damaged" in one way or another, but their incompleteness can be at least balanced by other people - what seems like meagre support can change someone's life.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I for one, thought that it was quite positive thing and I respect his decision to take his own life. It was very well thought-out suicide note; I think most people are quite baffled by it because of the degree of author's rational explanations, extreme honesty and empathy for others in spite of his own pains. Also, he unintentionally perhaps shed light on programming which a lot of us could relate to, At times growin…
I for one, thought that it was quite positive thing and I respect his decision to take his own life. I disagree. Maybe it's possible to understand some of what he felt from his eloquent explanation, but I don't think suicide is ever the only solution. There will be other people reading this, who will be in similar situations. It fills me with so much sadness to think that there might be one who reads this and thinks…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I for one, thought that it was quite positive thing and I respect his decision to take his own life. I disagree. Maybe it's possible to understand some of what he felt from his eloquent explanation, but I don't think suicide is ever the only solution. There will be other people reading this, who will be in similar situations. It fills me with so much sadness to think that there might be one who reads this and thinks…
> I don't think suicide is ever the only solution. What do you base this on? Wishful thinking about the capability of modern medicine? Or a belief that it's a person's duty to live through intolerable pain for the sake of others? > It fills me with so much sadness to think that there might be one who reads this and thinks .. 'yep, that was the right thing to do'. It annoys me that so many people will take a person wh…
I don't dislike the idea of suicide because of a sense of morality. I think suicide should be avoided because it's so utterly final.
Your opinion also involves an abstract belief, don't forget that.
I'm an atheist - I don't think that heaven or hell awaits us when we die. I believe, when we die we cease to exist.
Your point of view only makes sense if one accepts the idea that nothing can be improved. If we accept that there's no hope left in the world - why bother at all?
There are whole fields of science dedicated to helping people improve their outlook on life after living with abuse. It's irresponsible to dismiss the options that are available.
I still feel suicide isn't the only - or best - solution.
I've no business commenting on this as I haven't ever suffered a similar sort of trauma, you could argue. However I did start reading this note and found myself strongly flustered at this part: I thought that if I got into to a good college, or a good grad school, or lost weight, or went to the gym nearly every day for a year, or created programs that millions of people used, or spent a summer or California or New Yo…
This is a sad story. I am reminded of another Princeton suicide, Manzili Davis '06 drove to California during spring break of his senior year, rented a storage unit and took his life inside of it. It was weeks before he was found. http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S14/54/83M99/ We had mutual friends and I met him a few times. He had his own "darkness" just like Bill Zeller. I do wonder if places like Princet…
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People aren't linear functions. People treat information with the severity they think it has. So the notion that someone can't keep a "bigger" secret because they betrayed a smaller secret does not hold.
What you said is exactly the problem. It isn't for you to decide what is a big or small secret. If a person wants something kept quiet, that should be enough. The receiver's own view of what should be spread is immaterial.
I've no business commenting on this as I haven't ever suffered a similar sort of trauma, you could argue. However I did start reading this note and found myself strongly flustered at this part: I thought that if I got into to a good college, or a good grad school, or lost weight, or went to the gym nearly every day for a year, or created programs that millions of people used, or spent a summer or California or New Yo…
You assume that he was able to apply logic to his emotional sensibilities. Because of what happened to him, this could never be the case. The darkness, as he called it, enveloped his reason. One of a host of horrific and sad consequences of his suffering.
No, not because of what happened to him, because almost nobody thinks that way in our society so there's no reason why he would.
Is there anything in your life which hurts to think about? Have you ever dedicated yourself to working out why it hurts and how to stop it hurting, or do you continually avoid thinking about it? I'm guessing that there is, and that you avoid it because it's never even crossed your mind that it might be fixable.
And that it's almost certainly not crossed your mind to start by assuming it is fixable and then try as many techniques as you can find and keep trying hard and practising them and looking for more and not giving up until you have found one that works. Because, you know, everyone suffers and suffering is normal. Isn't that sad?
Many thoughts that flashed through my mind as I read the suicide note, but I decided to file them all away and share only this old story: The old town drunk died. His two sons, the bank president and the new town drunk were at his funeral. An onlooker, surprised at how different the two sons were, asked each one how he turned out the way he did. The bank president responded, "With a father like that, how else could I…
http://www.soku.com/search_video/q_tal%20ben%20shahar
I highly recommend learning more about positive psychology and reading Dr. Ben-Shahar's book, "Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment" (2007)
This is a sad story. I am reminded of another Princeton suicide, Manzili Davis '06 drove to California during spring break of his senior year, rented a storage unit and took his life inside of it. It was weeks before he was found. http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S14/54/83M99/ We had mutual friends and I met him a few times. He had his own "darkness" just like Bill Zeller. I do wonder if places like Princet…
I really don't want to change the subject or take away from the discussion about Bill, but I just want to quickly interject and say I disagree with this. I have now lived in Princeton for 18 years, unaffiliated with the University (I went to HS here, but go to college elsewhere). The town is picturesque, historic, and enhanced by the sterling reputation of the University. As for the isolation, NYC is just an hour tra…