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Time anxiety: is it too late?

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Re: Time anxiety: is it too late?

#71

Post by WhompingWindows »

andrepd wrote: post #55
rland wrote: post #51

The single consistent thing I have noticed in dealing with this type of anxiety is that if I spend time with people I actually like being with, it completely disappears. It's impossible to be so self-directed if there is another person in the room who I care about or love. To that end, the fix is simple: surround myself with people that I love. Friends and family. Easier said then done, especially in our modern world…

This is exactly how I feel, which is also why it is so difficult for me: I'm in a long distance relationship because of work.

Same here. We met and dated for a year, it was lovely. Then I took a job 1 hour away, 50% higher pay and a promotion, but the relationship does suffer a bit from that 1 hour drive.

Re: Time anxiety: is it too late?

#72

Post by megaremote »

Grzegrzolka wrote: post #18
programmerdude wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a software eng who has always had a lot of hobbies, it's almost alienating how so many people in the office are only into TV shows, super hero movies, sci fi books, video games... It's like, there's a whole world out there people!

Serious question, what other hobbies can one have?

For me: Running, Cycling (around different places), sailing, creating apps, creating games, creating AI models.

Re: Time anxiety: is it too late?

#73

Post by programmerdude »

Grzegrzolka wrote: post #18
programmerdude wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a software eng who has always had a lot of hobbies, it's almost alienating how so many people in the office are only into TV shows, super hero movies, sci fi books, video games... It's like, there's a whole world out there people!

Serious question, what other hobbies can one have?

Wow I love how many people replied to you here. For me it's painting, acting, meditation, yoga, guitar, and lots of broad interest in media that aren't so conformed, like foreign, old stuff, etc.

Re: Time anxiety: is it too late?

#74

Post by hathawsh »

rland wrote: post #51

The single consistent thing I have noticed in dealing with this type of anxiety is that if I spend time with people I actually like being with, it completely disappears. It's impossible to be so self-directed if there is another person in the room who I care about or love. To that end, the fix is simple: surround myself with people that I love. Friends and family. Easier said then done, especially in our modern world…

I concur. I would also like to suggest voluntary service. Every time I've participated in a service project, I've come away with reduced anxiety and an increased appreciation for the people around me. I discovered what I should be focusing on.

One place to find service opportunities is https://www.justserve.org/ . There's an app too. It's worth a look.

Re: Time anxiety: is it too late?

#75

Post by northwest65 »

Grzegrzolka wrote: post #18
programmerdude wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a software eng who has always had a lot of hobbies, it's almost alienating how so many people in the office are only into TV shows, super hero movies, sci fi books, video games... It's like, there's a whole world out there people!

Serious question, what other hobbies can one have?

If you look at my post from the new year you'll see I wanted to learn cha... but (happily) I became distracted by kizomba... try it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_XO7eOl9tQ&list=RDb_XO7eOl9...

Re: Time anxiety: is it too late?

#76

Post by Geee »

dcolkitt wrote: post #19

Personally speaking, the biggest specter for time anxiety is age-related cognitive decline. Unfortunately it happens much earlier than most people think. Especially with regards to both creativity and fluid intelligence. Tech entrepreneurs are disproportionately clustered at 20-34. The probability of making a major scientific discovery starts declining at 40. Poets peak in their early 40s, and novelists not much long…

I think that every generation is shaped by their environment when they grow up. That's why those who grew up within a certain timespan of technological innovation are more likely to be good at it. The distribution will change as those people get older.

The people who are born today will probably be good at something else. I guess they would feel that 'tech' is boring because it's something that was invented by old guys.

Also, the age distributions aren't caused by mental decline, but rather opportunity decline. Younger folks have more free time and opportunity to try something risky. People tend to settle down at some point in their lives.

Re: Time anxiety: is it too late?

#77

Post by thtthings »

nostromo wrote: post #68
thtthings wrote: post #64

You think too highly of yourself. Why do you think whatever you create is something special. It's most likely Shit. There is freedom in knowing you are one in 7 billion. Real creation happens when you give freedom to your mind to do whatever it wants to. There is no time constraint, no feeling that i need to get this done. It's spontaneous. You are following someone else's script here. You are equating activity with…

While I appreciate the stoicism, this isn't just about delusions of grandeur. Examples: * I'm too old to learn how to surf * My relationship with my child is too far gone to improve * It's pointless for me to save for retirement at my age * The environment is fucked no matter what I do These are all time anxiety type dilemmas that real people get hung up on that have nothing to do with impressing the world or buildin…

I think all these examples are of thinking too much. Why not just this very moment do something you feel like. Then the next and then the next. Go learn surfing, call your child and if you are too lazy then just accept you don't care about that stuff as much and do what you care about. You care about netflix then watch netflix. Don't do what you think society or other people think is cool.

If we are completely present in the now and doing what feel rights. There is no room for all these negative thoughts.

Re: Time anxiety: is it too late?

#78

Post by jgust »

hinkley wrote: post #49
deltron3030 wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You'll need less hours for your second thing if there are concepts that you can translate, or if you maybe start with a third thing in between that can be a bridge between the other things.

Some study skills translate, but there are categories where one kind hinders another. I’ve been studying in a domain that doesn’t intellectualize things and that was really a hard row to hoe. But now that I have around a thousand hours I’m finding learning other intuition-based fields is quite a bit easier.

Examples for the curious?

Re: Time anxiety: is it too late?

#80

Post by eduren »

thtthings wrote: post #77
nostromo wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I appreciate the stoicism, this isn't just about delusions of grandeur. Examples: * I'm too old to learn how to surf * My relationship with my child is too far gone to improve * It's pointless for me to save for retirement at my age * The environment is fucked no matter what I do These are all time anxiety type dilemmas that real people get hung up on that have nothing to do with impressing the world or buildin…

I think all these examples are of thinking too much. Why not just this very moment do something you feel like. Then the next and then the next. Go learn surfing, call your child and if you are too lazy then just accept you don't care about that stuff as much and do what you care about. You care about netflix then watch netflix. Don't do what you think society or other people think is cool. If we are completely presen…

Dispensing advice like this to someone with anxiety issues is exactly the same as telling someone with depression that they should get out of bed, meet people, be happy for what they have, or smile more.

It is the kind of swapping of cause and effect that many neurotypical people fall into when conversing with those who are suffering. All of the behaviors and habits you describe are largely the result of healthy mental states, not the cause (there can be feedback loops that make the distinction fuzzy, but those feedback loops are very fragile and require constant maintenance).

I'm sure its well intentioned, but it's just not going to be very useful advice.

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