I'm squarely a millennial dating someone gen z and the differences between our upbringings are staggering. Last week I went on a trip with all of his friends and while we were fucked up the friends parents started talking to us through their nest cam outside. I can't imagine being a kid today.
We Have Ruined Childhood
81–90 of 505 posts
Re: We Have Ruined Childhood
#82I have three school age kids and I'd put the difficulties of modern parenting into two bins: 1. Increasingly, both parents work full time and don't/can't rely on family for child care. The "and" is critical here, because in the past you might have had a single parent or dual income parents, but also had grandmothers and aunties as support. An increasingly mobile workforce, and smaller families mean that familial supp…
What would you say your typical response is to 2.a.? I'm anticipating this a bit when I do eventually have kids. Also, please elaborate on the insane competitiveness. This entire subject fascinates me (and others?) greatly, as I really want to have the best grasp I can of what I'm in for.
I’ve been there and it’s a bit annoying, but not entirely so. I give my 2 year old kid wide birth at the park, and sometimes other parents think he is completely un watched.
I put up with it because my kid has gotten lost before, and other parents have been very helpful at that point (unfortunately giving lots of space can backfire at the store when he just runs off and gets lost).
There is a TV show in Japan (sure you can find it on YouTube) where parents send their 3 or 4 year old kid to the store by themselves for the first time and then have them followed by a film crew (this right of passage is typically unfilmed and unsupervised of course). I know that can’t happen in the states, but I can dream!
Re: We Have Ruined Childhood
#83Seems like society is constantly pushing to remove all the ways in which kids used to live. Can't just wonder around and play on the sidewalks or the streets anymore with your friends, someone will call the police on you. Can't hang out in the woods, as those have mostly been torn down to make way for new neighborhoods, and the woods that do remain are typically private property. Unless you are lucky enough to live in a place that still has a good wooded area where there's no busy bodies, you are out of luck. Can't hang out at the mall, they will kick you out if you aren't accompanied by an adult. Can't hang out at your favorite local joints anymore, they'll kick you out. I was also among the last generations that really got to experience freedom and a playful world as a child, I can't imagine growing up in the world today.
The biggest problem are people who can't mind their business and people who have been conditioned to fear the world. The 24/7 fear cycle of news has drilled it into so many peoples minds that if you see someone anywhere on your street outside, they are there to murder, rob, mutilate, or otherwise commit crime.
Re: We Have Ruined Childhood
#84Well, if you report 24x7 hate and danger, scare the crap out of people, and report that there is danger behind every tree, then yes, childhoods are ruined. Things are getting safer and the only way you would know it is go look at the CDC stats. Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation.
I recently became a Scoutmaster. That's what I'm trying to do: give the kids the same opportunity we had - freedom to explore the outdoors. Confidence to take care of themselves and not need an adult to do everything for them. To give them opportunites to build character.
Great memories from cub scouts- I would not have learned how to camp otherwise (until later in life perhaps)
Re: We Have Ruined Childhood
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
Do you know what the composition of the other 98% looks like? i.e. accidental firings at home, murders, suicides, etc?
The CDC does an amazing job of gather stats on what kills people in the USA. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/deaths.htm and those statistics have a section on child mortality.
Interesting, by gathering data on what kills people, they inadvertently also gather data on how dangerous guns are.
Although, props to the CDC. That is some serious data gathering, cleaning etc. Most countries don't have that level of detail. At least not publically available.
Re: We Have Ruined Childhood
#86Earlier quoted context omitted.
Honestly, the generation of my-kid-has-a-phone-with-gps is probably going to have even more freedom.
The same way that having ad tech companies track our every movement online is going to deliver a better experience? Freedom comes from being free. Not from being surveilled.
I strongly disagree with your assertion. The two are not at all similar. Parents, by common definition and biologically, are there to support and protect their offspring.
Keeping an eye on where your kids are is vastly different than commercial entities doing it.
Re: We Have Ruined Childhood
#87Earlier quoted context omitted.
I mean, considering the era they quoted, I would say that black people might've had a bit more trouble raising kids than white people in the 1950s-1970s for reasons I hope would be incredibly obvious.
Compared to whites in that time period, sure. The raising of kids seems to me to be a multifaceted issue. One interesting example: most would agree that having two parents in a household is better for raising kids. In the early 20th century, despite racism and segregation, black divorce rates and birth outside of wedlock was much lower than it is for blacks today. Of course, those rates have gone up for all races ove…
Yes, but the point is that the era we tend to romanticize the most with 'free range parenting' tended to be something exclusive to white and/or affluent parents. Black children didn't really have that luxury at the time considering the systemic racism they encountered every step of the way.
As a poor white kid when I grew up my parents didn't have the luxury to let me do my own thing because they were often out fishing for a week+ at a time out in the bay area. So I was either waiting in the dock house playing video games for shorter fishing trips or out there on the boat with them for longer excursions.
Re: We Have Ruined Childhood
#88I have a child. I love him very much. I can not fathom why any parents would not have free time as priority. Free time is amazing. Here is why. - I get a break. - My child gets to learn how to learn on his own. - My child builds independence. - My child learns to manage his time on his own. I see this playing out in the work force too. Far too many people I have worked with that are younger need to be told exactly wh…
Sometimes, my kids will say they're bored. My response to them is that my job is not to entertain them. They totally get it, though sometimes they're still bored...
And that's okay. You're job isn't to be their friend either.
A parent's job is to give their kids opportunity to learn and grow. You can't always force it on them, and they won't always be interested.
You can give them them the opportunity to do something that will help them grow (learn, build character, etc) or they can be bored, but if they choose to be bored, they need to be told that they have options, and they are the ones choosing to be bored.
Re: We Have Ruined Childhood
#89[deleted]
Re: We Have Ruined Childhood
#90Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Which I think is more of a problem than helicopter parenting in America Sorry, as a parent in Japan, I beg to disagree. The system here has lots of problems, don't get me wrong - and I really don't like the "juku" (cram-school) model at all. But particularly at younger ages (which in many ways are the most important ones), there is still that fundamental freedom to be on your own with your friends. Kids age as youn…
> Kids age as young as 5 are often out on their own with their friends outside, or walking to school, etc. That's something you would be arrested for in the U.S. Do you mean "until age 5"? All of the kids I knew from that area of the world, as young as elementary school, spent every second either studying for school or practicing piano/violin.
I'm guessing you knew upper middle class kids from over-achieving parents. Normal Japanese children don't do that. Generally speaking, elementary kids are running around on those 2 wheel wobbly skateboards (not sure what they are called), or playing baseball or basketball (around where I live basketball is surprisingly popular). Right now it is summer vacation and across the road my neighbour's kids are yelling at each other like normal ;-)