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We Have Ruined Childhood

nytimes.com

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Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#61

Post by noonespecial »

protomyth wrote: post #29
JKCalhoun wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And yet there was "danger, scare the crap out of people" then too. Don't take candy from a stranger. Razor blades in apples… Unless it's a difference in degree, that alone is not what has changed. To be sure we seem to be a more fearful society then we were then.

"Unless it's a difference in degree" Let your kids play outside by themselves or walk to school, and get reported to Child Protective Services. It is very much a different world these days.

Child Protective Services is the thing I've most feared as a parent. Getting caught up in that system is about the worst thing that can happen to a child.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#62

Post by tootie »

protomyth wrote: post #5

Well, if you report 24x7 hate and danger, scare the crap out of people, and report that there is danger behind every tree, then yes, childhoods are ruined. Things are getting safer and the only way you would know it is go look at the CDC stats. Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation.

Honestly, the generation of my-kid-has-a-phone-with-gps is probably going to have even more freedom.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#63

Post by RandomBacon »

l33tbro wrote: post #28
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #17

I have three school age kids and I'd put the difficulties of modern parenting into two bins: 1. Increasingly, both parents work full time and don't/can't rely on family for child care. The "and" is critical here, because in the past you might have had a single parent or dual income parents, but also had grandmothers and aunties as support. An increasingly mobile workforce, and smaller families mean that familial supp…

What would you say your typical response is to 2.a.? I'm anticipating this a bit when I do eventually have kids. Also, please elaborate on the insane competitiveness. This entire subject fascinates me (and others?) greatly, as I really want to have the best grasp I can of what I'm in for.

I don't have a kid (yet), and I started to write out my plan, but then I changed it. Now it I'm thinking about this:

Treat them like you would treat a beggar or salesperson you don't want to interact with, say "No thanks" with minimal eye contact and keep moving (or if stationary, ignore them).

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#65

Post by roasm »

mbrumlow wrote: post #3

I have a child. I love him very much. I can not fathom why any parents would not have free time as priority. Free time is amazing. Here is why. - I get a break. - My child gets to learn how to learn on his own. - My child builds independence. - My child learns to manage his time on his own. I see this playing out in the work force too. Far too many people I have worked with that are younger need to be told exactly wh…

Sometimes, my kids will say they're bored. My response to them is that my job is not to entertain them. They totally get it, though sometimes they're still bored...

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#66

Post by shioyama »

fzeroracer wrote: post #53
shioyama wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation. Completely agree with your comment, but "sadly last" here is not accurate unless you're talking about North America and maybe Europe. I live in Japan and it's quite normal, even in a big city like Tokyo, to let kids play on their own until it gets dark. I feel…

To be fair, I don't think Japan is exactly a good model to bring up here. Kids are independent with their free time, but most of their free time is taken up having to study seven days a week while dealing with absent parents having to work long hours and a grueling school system that is part of the reason why Japan has such a high suicide rate among youths. Which I think is more of a problem than helicopter parenting…

> Which I think is more of a problem than helicopter parenting in America

Sorry, as a parent in Japan, I beg to disagree. The system here has lots of problems, don't get me wrong - and I really don't like the "juku" (cram-school) model at all. But particularly at younger ages (which in many ways are the most important ones), there is still that fundamental freedom to be on your own with your friends.

Kids age as young as 5 are often out on their own with their friends outside, or walking to school, etc. That's something you would be arrested for in the U.S.

I see the North American situation as much more scary, TBH.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#68

Post by reaperducer »

tootie wrote: post #62
protomyth wrote: post #5

Well, if you report 24x7 hate and danger, scare the crap out of people, and report that there is danger behind every tree, then yes, childhoods are ruined. Things are getting safer and the only way you would know it is go look at the CDC stats. Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation.

Honestly, the generation of my-kid-has-a-phone-with-gps is probably going to have even more freedom.

The same way that having ad tech companies track our every movement online is going to deliver a better experience?

Freedom comes from being free. Not from being surveilled.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#69

Post by sixstringtheory »

mandelbrotwurst wrote: post #47
Causalityl wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed. There is no better example of a failure to do basic math than running active shooter drills when 98% of child gun homicides happen outside of school hours.

@Causalityl , @jranmer - question for both of you (or whoever) - at what rate of death if any would it become appropriate to do these types of drills and why?

I don’t know where the line is, but I think I would sooner pull my kids out to homeschool than have them be further traumatized/militarized by letting them participate in active shooter drills. It’s insane and will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you expose kids to this kind of lifestyle, the more it becomes... part of their lifestyle.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#70

Post by koolba »

mattrp wrote: post #30
koolba wrote: post #21

That’s a hell of a clickbait headline for a supposed paper of record. I don’t even disagree with the premise. It doesn’t make it less disgusting though. That aside, the weight of this sits on the parents, not society. Parents dump their children into scholastic programs and extra curriculars not because of the results, they do so because they’re lazy and refuse to do the tasks themselves. They think it’s difficult to…

With five kids of my own, I can certainly say that an hour of play would reduce the perfectly groomed worlds of most people to rubble while leaving them in tears. That’s not to argue against play it’s just that you have to accept that it’s not quite something you can post to Instagram.

I can assure you that no child gives two shits about how many likes your Saturday activity received on any social media platform.

A handful of worms, a skinned knee, and arms covered in poison ivy they’ll remember. The perfect sunset shot they won’t.

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