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We Have Ruined Childhood

nytimes.com

31–40 of 505 posts

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#31
Depressed kids are a symptom of a sick society and bleak outlooks. You have to try really hard to point a finger at a single culprit, but we all know that's just not the case. Sure, play is one important factor but let's consider for a moment some additional points to connect for a bleak picture:

1. We purposely build addiction into social media which leads to more screen time. Anecdotally, there are so many examples of people quitting social media and feeling much better. Screen time is a huge factor for sure.

2. We put undo stress on our kids with all of the testing requirements.I remember how much anxiety and stress I got in school just thinking about the upcoming test. Now test frequency is completely insane when compared to when I was in school. I can only imagine how much stress this is adding to a kid's day. So yeah, I think testing plays a big role in this too.

3. Kids (teens), are constantly exposed to the fear-mongering headlines bombarding them day in day out. Since we set up our media to profit from pageviews, we've created a situation where it pays to play up to people's fears. Kids read these things too and in many cases do not have the mental models or capacity to differentiate clickbait bs. vs substantive information. Hell, even adults (as witnessed by at least 50% of US population) can't differentiate between fact and fiction.

4. Lack of play time. OF COURSE kids are not going to develop properly if they can't learn to socialize and participate in society. OF COURSE they'll distance themselves back into the screen where, OOPS, they'll read more of those nasty headlines and while at it think about the upcoming test. It doesn't help that we now have (billion?)-dollar gaming companies pulling every trick in the book to build addiction into every interaction. What better way to escape the problems of the real world than to retrieve into the virtual one? I can't blame them... this is what I personally did as a teen.

5. Climate change - probably one of the most understated reasons that leaves children hopeless. While we keep debating on the best ways to solve our climate problems, kids are left hopeless about their futures. We have grown ass adults taking to Twitter to insult teens for trying to take some sort of action while those same grown ass adults are sitting on their hands or swiping their facebook feeds.

6. Increased hopelessness, depression and isolation among adults - how are kids supposed to learn to explore on their own and that there is more to life than your screen when their parents are increasingly isolating themselves from the world. When you have a government that is hellbent on making your life more difficult by fueling inequality, what possible hope do you have as a child when you see how your parents struggle to make ends meet? "oh so this is what I have to look forward to..."

You could pick apart any one of those points to trace the origins and have enough to write a Times essay. The point being, it's one massive clusterfuck with multiple points of failure. If we want our kids to have any sort of a decent and bright future full of joy, we should start looking at how to fix our own problems. Start looking at reducing inequality, proactive automation readiness, better social systems, fewer guns, policies to reduce consumption, subsidies for alternative energies and de-carbonization, complete education reform to do away with insane testing, strict laws on what can and cannot make it into consumer apps in terms of addiction building, and so on and so on.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#33
post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not being alcohol addicted is not “fortuitous”. Fortuitous means purely by chance; accidentally; without any known cause.

It also means "Resulting in good fortune; lucky" in which sense the word fits perfectly. https://www.wordnik.com/words/fortuitous

It is sometimes used like “lucky” because people who have no idea what it means get it confused with “fortunate” and use the two interchangeably.

If you want to use it to mean “lucky” it should be in the sense of “a purely accidental thing that happened to be good”, not just any good thing that happened.

If I travel to a foreign city on a whim and meet my future spouse there, that might be fortuitous. (It would also be fortuitous if I travel on a whim to a foreign city, get hit by a truck, and end up paraplegic.) If I train for years and finally manage to achieve my dream of running a marathon, that is not fortuitous.

Your link offers the definition “Happening independently of human will or means of foresight; resulting from unavoidable physical causes.”

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#34

Well, if you report 24x7 hate and danger, scare the crap out of people, and report that there is danger behind every tree, then yes, childhoods are ruined. Things are getting safer and the only way you would know it is go look at the CDC stats. Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation.

Indeed. There is no better example of a failure to do basic math than running active shooter drills when 98% of child gun homicides happen outside of school hours.

Do you know what the composition of the other 98% looks like? i.e. accidental firings at home, murders, suicides, etc?

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#35
post #3

I have a child. I love him very much. I can not fathom why any parents would not have free time as priority. Free time is amazing. Here is why. - I get a break. - My child gets to learn how to learn on his own. - My child builds independence. - My child learns to manage his time on his own. I see this playing out in the work force too. Far too many people I have worked with that are younger need to be told exactly wh…

What I've observed: they don't want any type of failure for their kids.

I'm a Scoutmaster, and I have one parent who lashed out at me because I asked him not to interfere when the Scouts were trying to do something for themselves.

I didn't let that affect me, I just thanked him for his feedback. Thankfully, I have the support of everyone else in the troop.

What saddens me, is seeing first-hand how bad these parents are for their kids. I feel bad for them. Those kids are going to grow up broken.

This parent's kid only has fun when his parent isn't there. I've never seen him with a smile when his parent is around.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed. There is no better example of a failure to do basic math than running active shooter drills when 98% of child gun homicides happen outside of school hours.

Columbine, Sandy Hook, Parkland, Santa Fe, and Red Lake are the mass shootings of my lifetime to take place in schools. Virginia Tech and another community college also saw mass shootings, if you want to include tertiary education. Note that three of these are in the top 10 (and 2 in the top 5) if you rank them by deaths.

Yes they did. They are also a tiny drop in the bucket of child gun homicides, an even smaller drop for child gun deaths, and an incredibly small bump in child deaths overall.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#38

Well, if you report 24x7 hate and danger, scare the crap out of people, and report that there is danger behind every tree, then yes, childhoods are ruined. Things are getting safer and the only way you would know it is go look at the CDC stats. Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation.

> Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation.

Completely agree with your comment, but "sadly last" here is not accurate unless you're talking about North America and maybe Europe.

I live in Japan and it's quite normal, even in a big city like Tokyo, to let kids play on their own until it gets dark. I feel quite lucky to be in a country not yet afflicted by this disease that has hit all of North America and (I hear) Europe as well - a disease of over-protecting kids to the point of suffocation.

People need to call this trend for what it is. They're not doing the next generation any good, and probably lots of harm.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#39

I have three school age kids and I'd put the difficulties of modern parenting into two bins: 1. Increasingly, both parents work full time and don't/can't rely on family for child care. The "and" is critical here, because in the past you might have had a single parent or dual income parents, but also had grandmothers and aunties as support. An increasingly mobile workforce, and smaller families mean that familial supp…

2.b the number of parents who feel it’s important to tell me my kids shoes are on the wrong feet. Yeah I know... how many times do you want me to put them back correctly only to have my kid switch them around?

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed. There is no better example of a failure to do basic math than running active shooter drills when 98% of child gun homicides happen outside of school hours.

Do you know what the composition of the other 98% looks like? i.e. accidental firings at home, murders, suicides, etc?

I restricted my comparison to homicides only. They're basically statistically insignificant compared to the other much more common causes of child firearm death.
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