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We Have Ruined Childhood

nytimes.com

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Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#51

Post by brightball »

Scoutmaster wrote: post #14
protomyth wrote: post #5

Well, if you report 24x7 hate and danger, scare the crap out of people, and report that there is danger behind every tree, then yes, childhoods are ruined. Things are getting safer and the only way you would know it is go look at the CDC stats. Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation.

I recently became a Scoutmaster. That's what I'm trying to do: give the kids the same opportunity we had - freedom to explore the outdoors. Confidence to take care of themselves and not need an adult to do everything for them. To give them opportunites to build character.

It's really one of the reasons that I got my son into Scouts in the first place. It forces the type of activities that should really just be normal.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#52

Post by nhebb »

> For youngsters these days, an hour of free play is like a drop of water in the desert.

I'm over my free NYT limit, but the lead caught my eye. Is this a by-product of raising kids in the city, or just a symptom of a tightly wound parent?

I have three kids and their free play was never restricted. I work out of a home office in a kid-packed neighborhood. I hear kids of all ages playing outside after school, on weekends, and all day long in the summer. Not seeing the desert.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#53

Post by fzeroracer »

shioyama wrote: post #38
protomyth wrote: post #5

Well, if you report 24x7 hate and danger, scare the crap out of people, and report that there is danger behind every tree, then yes, childhoods are ruined. Things are getting safer and the only way you would know it is go look at the CDC stats. Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation.

> Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation. Completely agree with your comment, but "sadly last" here is not accurate unless you're talking about North America and maybe Europe. I live in Japan and it's quite normal, even in a big city like Tokyo, to let kids play on their own until it gets dark. I feel…

To be fair, I don't think Japan is exactly a good model to bring up here. Kids are independent with their free time, but most of their free time is taken up having to study seven days a week while dealing with absent parents having to work long hours and a grueling school system that is part of the reason why Japan has such a high suicide rate among youths.

Which I think is more of a problem than helicopter parenting in America and is what I think our school system is turning into. We're already working longer hours for less pay and increasing pressure on children to perform well even in Kindergarten.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#54

Post by FillardMillmore »

fzeroracer wrote: post #23
FillardMillmore wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What does being white have to do with predominant parenting practices? If you would like to point out differences in parenting practices by race/wealth/class and possible causes for said discrepancies, then please do so.

I mean, considering the era they quoted, I would say that black people might've had a bit more trouble raising kids than white people in the 1950s-1970s for reasons I hope would be incredibly obvious.

Compared to whites in that time period, sure. The raising of kids seems to me to be a multifaceted issue. One interesting example: most would agree that having two parents in a household is better for raising kids. In the early 20th century, despite racism and segregation, black divorce rates and birth outside of wedlock was much lower than it is for blacks today. Of course, those rates have gone up for all races over time but more drastically so for blacks. As a result, the children are often brought up with one parent (which most would agree, means the children are worse off in that respect compared to black children of say 100 years ago). Whether or not this trend is a good or bad thing is a completely different discussion than that of the causality.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#55

Post by taurath »

I mean. I’m not okay either. I work to try to reduce my screen time as much as I can but when it’s part of the job and also an always ready hit of dissociative dopamine in my pocket it creates an awful feedback loop that I’m not equipped to handle.

At work as a programmer, you’re “supposed” to spend some free time doing projects and have “hobby development”, so you can reach the next career echelon. Even not in a programming career, everything is rushed, it must happen now. People are either on or off, and off is a dissociative activity, desperately trying to save our sanity so that we can be on the next day. We’re rich, but it doesn’t feel like it. I think we need a way for the culture to emphasize “slow down”. If you travel to other countries, you’ll find a much slower pace of life - there needs to be a better way to opt into something like that without giving up basic security. If I quit my job to pursue a slower pace of life, it’s almost a guarantee that I will lose my health insurance. I probably would have to move to another area, but the “slow” areas are either riddled with their own problems or are the playgrounds of the super rich. Where’s the calm, collected, slow middle? I’d like to find it. My job is even very good about work life balance and I struggle with this.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#56

Post by 9nGQluzmnq3M »

koolba wrote: post #21

That’s a hell of a clickbait headline for a supposed paper of record. I don’t even disagree with the premise. It doesn’t make it less disgusting though. That aside, the weight of this sits on the parents, not society. Parents dump their children into scholastic programs and extra curriculars not because of the results, they do so because they’re lazy and refuse to do the tasks themselves. They think it’s difficult to…

It's a named opinion column, not news.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#57

Post by [deleted] »

mandelbrotwurst wrote: post #47
Causalityl wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed. There is no better example of a failure to do basic math than running active shooter drills when 98% of child gun homicides happen outside of school hours.

@Causalityl , @jranmer - question for both of you (or whoever) - at what rate of death if any would it become appropriate to do these types of drills and why?

[deleted]

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#58

Post by neverartful »

protomyth wrote: post #29
JKCalhoun wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And yet there was "danger, scare the crap out of people" then too. Don't take candy from a stranger. Razor blades in apples… Unless it's a difference in degree, that alone is not what has changed. To be sure we seem to be a more fearful society then we were then.

"Unless it's a difference in degree" Let your kids play outside by themselves or walk to school, and get reported to Child Protective Services. It is very much a different world these days.

Right! It's the combination of new laws/regulations and the higher likelihood of litigation when kids get hurt.

On the other hand, there are plenty of parents who completely neglect their kids. We don't want that either.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#59

Post by protomyth »

mandelbrotwurst wrote: post #34
Causalityl wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Indeed. There is no better example of a failure to do basic math than running active shooter drills when 98% of child gun homicides happen outside of school hours.

Do you know what the composition of the other 98% looks like? i.e. accidental firings at home, murders, suicides, etc?

The CDC does an amazing job of gather stats on what kills people in the USA. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/deaths.htm and those statistics have a section on child mortality.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#60

Post by mactrey »

shioyama wrote: post #38
protomyth wrote: post #5

Well, if you report 24x7 hate and danger, scare the crap out of people, and report that there is danger behind every tree, then yes, childhoods are ruined. Things are getting safer and the only way you would know it is go look at the CDC stats. Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation.

> Kids need time with their friends away from parents. I'm so glad I was able to grow up in the (sadly last) "be home for dinner, be back by dark" generation. Completely agree with your comment, but "sadly last" here is not accurate unless you're talking about North America and maybe Europe. I live in Japan and it's quite normal, even in a big city like Tokyo, to let kids play on their own until it gets dark. I feel…

Kids in Japan lead carefree "be home by dark" lives up until late middle school and high school, when they start studying 4+hrs/day and sleeping <5hrs/night to prep for standardized tests. I don't think Japan is a horrific dystopia for teens but it's hardly the "let kids be kids" culture that America of yesteryear (apparently) was.
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