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Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

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201–210 of 311 posts

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#201
Maybe that is why Slack has become so popular.

Also, do people just ignore your input, or do they feel they alrrady understood what you are trying to say? When I interrupt people, it is usually because I think I alrrady know what they want to say.

Maybe people in SV are just faster than average? Like the joke in Microserfs where the nerds watched video with subtitles in fast forward.

For ecample I also watch courses on Coursera on double speed, normal speed feels agoizing to me.

So perhaps talking double speed could also help?

I think it is also rude to expect people to listen for too long.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#202
Hello !

Try Dissensium (https://dissensium.herokuapp.com/), a smooth project that I create for fun.

Why ? Because I'm drive about by the same problem in my recent work.

So, Dissensium allows you to create anonymous online meeting about conversations or problems with your team mates. Each person can propose a solution and each person can vote on each. The facts show us that anonymity break the rules of human domination and especially that everyboby can have a nice idea. Then, allow to each participant to vote on each solution is better constructive.

So, you can try something like this. . .

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#206
When it comes to getting his fair say in, Gerry Adams from Sinn Fein is a master. He never interrupts others, except to tell them to stop interrupting him, and his approach is very effective. When somebody talks over him, he talks over them saying "I didn't interrupt you, don't interrupt me" in a polite but authoritative tone, then he continues speaking until his turn is up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_QJtKLuXYc

He's so good at it, somebody recorded a parody song about it (a rip-off of a Boy Named Sue).

I had a business partner who was a great engineer, but kind of an elitist snob and never let people speak. He cost us a lot of sales that way, so I actually had to begin texting him "Slow down. Let him answer. Stop interrupting, I need to pay rent this month". Consistently calling him out on it in a private way significantly changed his communication style and we stopped losing sales that we should not have lost.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#208
post #75
post #61

I’ve been witnessing a masterclass in this at work lately. One of the faculty I work with has a habit of jumping in on people when they’re talking. One of our new faculty simple refuses to spot when the other person jumps in—-just simply keeps taking over the interrupter. Doesn’t speak up, doesn’t alter their cadence, simply continues to talk. It’s amazing.

this is a VERY hard thing to learn, but I am trying it. Sometimes it just requires more concentration and determination than I can muster. Also the person doing the interrupting will occasionally accuse YOU of interrupting them. I hate feeling bullied by interrupters so I am constantly working to master any and all tactics for shutting down what I see as this rude/disrespectful/disruptive behavior.

Flashbacks of my ex-wife. She would go ballistic if she thought I was interrupting her, but she would cut me off all the time and just half-heartedly apologise afterwards. She had turned into a massive bully.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#209
post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do it too....and I hate it........ I'm trying to tackle it by writing it down and waiting for others to finish with some decent success.

I wear a rubber band on my wrist and lightly snap it when someone is telling me something and I feel compelled to interrupt. It brings me out of the moment just enough to wait. But, you have to remember that the rubber band exists :-)

The is a cool strategy! I will definitely try and employ this.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#210
We had to discipline ourselves in our team, and it had great results. (We made it slighly funnier by having an actual "speech stuffed octopus" to hand to the only person allowed to speak.)

Meetings are surprisingly more pleasant now.

In case your teamates are self-help fans, you might casually drop in as many conversations as possible that "Seek to understand, before being understood" is Covey's habit n°5 ;)

Good luck !

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