191–200 of 311 posts
Sometimes I say in the same voice... Hold on a tick Moira, I think Francis is trying to make a point.
Moira in our organisation is a meetings pest, she speaks without listening and speaks often.
Just be polite, don't let the conversation move on, and advocate for others who are spoken over. "I didn't hear Josh, Josh can you please repeat that"
I have a problem cutting people off- I get way to excited about what I want to say and jump in. I really appreciate when people call me out and don't take it personally. I also try to work on it and try to help steer the conversation to other people who have been cut off when I see it happen. So IMO don't be afraid to politely just let someone know! If you don't feel comfortable during the meeting, maybe speak with t…
I wonder is some of you here recognizing own interrupting problem have got ADHD symptoms and diagnosis? Isn't it strongly correlated with Primarily Hyperactive-Impulsive trait?
Also when I talk to someone who has ADHD it might sound strange to neurotypical people. The discussions are much faster and also less - well, I don't want to call it less boring. They are more exciting, but it does not mean that discussions with neurotypical people are boring.
Yes, it's common especially in places where it goes un-checked. One idea that can work to start to change this behavior is to verbalize when someone else is cut off. "Bob, it sounded like you were had something to add." If you start helping others get a word in some folks will start to get the message. Another, more direct approach, is feedback to those that keep cutting folks off. Finally, you can push for "retro" t…
I don't think it's best to think of this in terms of "safety." Interruption is a dark pattern. It enables the user of the pattern to gain more attention and get more "turns" at speaking, but does it at the expense of group members being able to express complicated or difficult concepts. It's a pattern which suppresses thought and information.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
" Always finish what you have to say even if others start trying to talk over you. If you stop it makes it look like what you have to say is not important. " And after the two of you have talked over each other for a few seconds, they'll stop and say something like, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" You may think it's an invitation to explain what you were trying to say. It isn't. And if you're like me, at this poin…
I used to try this with my manager when he would interrupt me. Sometimes we would go on talking over each other for a full 10 ish seconds. That's a really really long time for two people to talk over each other and not stop. So uncomfortable, but I found it so rude for him to talk over me and he did it so frequently that in the end I just refused to stop talking. I'm naturally shy and soft spoken, so it's not that I…
It sounds like you were forced into a fight with a manager over whether your opinions, ideas and thoughts were worth hearing - to him.
Although he had an official position, he was not acting with decent authority: so his judgement of your ideas has no force or truth, but is just his.
Your ideas, opinions and thoughts themselves were never at stake. They existed before that manager, and they existed after. They exist now.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expressions_of_dominance
Solution: moderation. When a person is interrupted, the moderator interjects and asks the interrupted person to finish the idea.
If the interruptions persist, adjourn the meeting.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I do it too & I hate it. My worry is that if I don't say it immediately I'll forget my comment/argument. I've tried scribbling it down and raise them later. But not very consistent in this process.
I tell myself it's always better my idea goes unheard than someone else not get to share theirs. If it's really important, I'll remember it.
The best solution is simply to change company. Smart people are curious (that's how they became smart) and they know who else is smart and so they know when to listen.
I can relate because I was taught to respect people and wait for them to finish what they were saying but in some environments they’ll just talk continuously as a tactic to prevent you from saying your opinion and dominating the discussion.
Sometimes it's unfortunately just a personality thing. There are people that are notorious for just needing to be the smartest person in the room, and if they aren't checked, it's just going to be a sucky place to work. I've had limited good luck dealing with them by asking a lot of questions, Socrates-style. Really pinning them down. Particularly if I have an opposing solution that answers my own questions better. T…
You could try an experiment one time, of waiting them out - like for 1 minute (an incredibly long silence, but a cheap experiment) - and discover what they do.