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Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#71

Post by cosmotic »

It might help to understand why people are cutting you off. Some situations where I have cut people off (maybe in the wrong; it's a judgement call): * It's clear everyone understands what's being said and explaining further is wasting time * It's clear what's being said is based on a misunderstanding or is not relevant * I can tell where it's going and have already dealt with what will eventually be concluded so the whole conversation can be cut off completely * I have input into the topic that it appears no one realizes yet and might drastically change the direction of the conversation * It's clear that we've gone on a tangent and it's time to get back on track * Someone is telling a personal story for effect and it's not adding business value or social value to the discussion * Someone is grandstanding for no apparent reason other then self indulgence

As for solutions: * Establish a protocol for raising attention that someone has input before the speaker is done; like raising your hand * Use a talking stick

Non-solutions: * Calling someone out for interrupting you might foster hostility. Instead, during a retrospective or something similar, raise a concern that generically people are having a hard time completing their thoughts because they keep getting cut off.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#72

Post by voodootrucker »

jasonpeacock wrote: post #43

Others have suggested a talking stick, and I'll improve on that - a talking stick + timer. Because you need to enforce both 1 person talking at time, and time box them. Even better, you make the timer be the talking stick. Every time you hand off the timer, you reset it for the next person. They say their piece and reset/handoff to the next person. I've done this for daily standups/sprint meetings where things were g…

You propose a valid technical solution. Sadly it involves infrastructure and ceremony. I would think it preferable to grow the social skills of the team so that these aren't required.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#73

Post by voodootrucker »

lacampbell wrote: post #47

You say to the other person, loudly and firmly "hang on X, I haven't finished" then you carry on until you're done. There's no magic to it, no reliance on a corporate directive, or gimmick like a talking stick or hacky sack. You just directly address the other persons behaviour.

While I upvoted your comment for it's directness, and agree that it can work for infrequent instances, I've seen whole cultures where everyone is interrupting each other. It's harder to apply when things get truly bad.

Incidentally, that was in the bay, and I've had better experiences elsewhere - purely anecdotal.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#74

Post by broth »

Squeaky wheels.

Things to try:

- Schedule a follow-up meeting and discuss your concerns and suggestions.

- Try raising your hand. This might seem ridiculous but give it a try.

- Talk with your manager about this concern and try and suggest solutions like the ones above.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#75

Post by jtms »

a2tech wrote: post #61

I’ve been witnessing a masterclass in this at work lately. One of the faculty I work with has a habit of jumping in on people when they’re talking. One of our new faculty simple refuses to spot when the other person jumps in—-just simply keeps taking over the interrupter. Doesn’t speak up, doesn’t alter their cadence, simply continues to talk. It’s amazing.

this is a VERY hard thing to learn, but I am trying it. Sometimes it just requires more concentration and determination than I can muster. Also the person doing the interrupting will occasionally accuse YOU of interrupting them. I hate feeling bullied by interrupters so I am constantly working to master any and all tactics for shutting down what I see as this rude/disrespectful/disruptive behavior.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#76

Post by imhoguy »

andrewcarter wrote: post #15

I have a problem cutting people off- I get way to excited about what I want to say and jump in. I really appreciate when people call me out and don't take it personally. I also try to work on it and try to help steer the conversation to other people who have been cut off when I see it happen. So IMO don't be afraid to politely just let someone know! If you don't feel comfortable during the meeting, maybe speak with t…

I wonder is some of you here recognizing own interrupting problem have got ADHD symptoms and diagnosis? Isn't it strongly correlated with Primarily Hyperactive-Impulsive trait?

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#77

Post by james_s_tayler »

I had a friend who was quite bad at doing that. I eventually made it known and together we worked on it. I can't imagine a whole company like that. It was hard enough to get one individual with which I had a solid relationship to stop that. Good news is he did get much much better and now it's no longer an issue.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#78

Post by lacampbell »

voodootrucker wrote: post #73
lacampbell wrote: post #47

You say to the other person, loudly and firmly "hang on X, I haven't finished" then you carry on until you're done. There's no magic to it, no reliance on a corporate directive, or gimmick like a talking stick or hacky sack. You just directly address the other persons behaviour.

While I upvoted your comment for it's directness, and agree that it can work for infrequent instances, I've seen whole cultures where everyone is interrupting each other. It's harder to apply when things get truly bad. Incidentally, that was in the bay, and I've had better experiences elsewhere - purely anecdotal.

It's always worked well for me - in the work place at least.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?

#80

Post by riffic »

mixmastamyk wrote: post #24

Try a "hacky sack." Only the person who has it may speak. If interruptions continue, introduce an airhorn, and hit it when they happen. ;) There should also probably be a time limit as well.

An airhorn should only be used outdoors. These can output 120 decibels, enough to cause pain and temporary hearing impairment.
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