It's common in Indian workplaces. You just need to start doing it too.
Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
151–160 of 311 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#152It really helps if someone is actively managing the meeting. As a PM, I've often done this in meetings with my engineering team. It works well because I don't know enough to contribute much to the technical discussions, but I know enough to know when they're veering off track or someone's dominating the discussion. I also know which engineers aren't as prone to interrupting, and I can make sure they're included in the discussion.
I often go with a little self-deprecation just to keep it light when things are spiraling out of control. Something like, "Okay, time to take a pause and dumb it down for the PM. It sounds like we've settled on the fact that the issue is x, and the possible solutions are a, b and c. , you've dealt with x before - what are your thoughts?"
Smart people are prone to chime in with their thoughts, even if it involves interrupting. In PM/design meetings, I'm guilty as hell of that, but I recognize when whoever is running the meeting is shutting me up so others can speak and appreciate it.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#153It's a bit "kid-ish", but I've seen it work effectively at combating what you're talking about. Have some kind of object that a person holds while they're talking. While the person is holding the object no one else is allowed to speak. Once they're finished speaking the object is passed to the next person and they get their turn (if they want). The object can be anything, but when I've seen this strategy used it was…
This sounds ridiculous, but it's a really simple solution that really does work.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#154This happens in power plays routinely. I'm not exactly an admirer of the man, but I've been pretty impressed by quickly interjecting "excuse me" when someone is trying to talk over you, which Donald Trump has perfected
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#155I believe some people just do this to compensate. They’re not the best at what they do but they’re the loudest so they use that.
How I combat it is email and networking with the team. After a meeting where I couldn’t get a word in, ill follow up with an email laying out the pros and cons of what was talked about as well as the pros and cons of my own ideas. I’ll then have one on ones with other team members to see if there’s any buy in. If not I drop it. If so, I find that my team members will start giving the loud guy pushback on his ideas.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#156I too preserve my energy. I’ve internalized patience. I’m not in a rush to be heard or make a point. I use the time others are speaking to listen and formulate my response. Then when it is my turn to speak I try to limit myself only to what needs to be said. It can be very hard on me to do this. Especially when the conversation steers into something I am passionate about or I am completely uninterested in. It takes a…
+1 I agree with waiting. In fact I'm personally coming around to the point of view that 90% of verbal technical discussions miss a key point which becomes very evident on reflection and/or are an inefficient use of time(N developers * x minutes and so on). You can be much more effective by writing a doc about the subject, reviewing it over email/Slack with an in-person discussion if required.
I cannot stress how important writing is. Writing is thinking. And often writing what you intend to argue in a meeting is an effective way to solidify your point.
If you think you can convince someone by reasoning about it from the seat of your pants don’t be surprised when your colleagues are not convinced.
This is good advice!
Although sometimes you have to bite the bullet and accommodate your hands-on improvisational types and have a good old-fashioned spit-balling session!
Just write it down afterwards.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#157If the people in your group are just over-excitable and not jerks, and you've already talked to them about this, one way to manage the situation is to appoint someone to recognize speakers one at a time and limit the time they spend speaking. The appointed role should rotate to maintain a sense of equity.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#158Earlier quoted context omitted.
I have this issue too, I think it also has to do a bit with cultural background sometimes. I grew up in a hispanic family in a majority hispanic community, where my everyday conversation with people was people talking over each other. It was common to start making your point while the other person was still finishing theirs. The difference is, because everyone did it, we would just keep talking , even if we were cut…
agreed fully - Cubans seem to do this a lot; at first i would get really frustrated bc i thought i was being interrupted but i think it's buena onda they also frequently ask if everything's ok, if you understand, etc. at the slightest pause in talking, which is kind of hilarious sometimes
yep, I'm actually cuban american, this is accurate =P
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#159[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#160I'll offer the thing you need to learn is to not give a shit. It helps to remind yourself your getting paid the same no matter what.
Beyond that, if you've got something important to point out that others are missing then you can jump in with a dominant attitude and make the point quickly and then sit back and fade away and let the conversation go where it will.
Timing is important but starting with something like "I think we need to consider..." or "you're missing something important here" loud enough to be heard can draw the focus to you quickly.
Once you've made your point stop talking. It will either be ignored, dismissed, or discussed. If they ask you to expand give them all you got but don't get frustrated if it gets ignored or dismissed. Bring it up again in a private conversation later with whomever really needs to know and give them time to let it sink in.
If someone cuts you off you can always pop back in by starting with something like "We still need to consider..."
Back to not giving a shit. You do your best work no matter what. That's what you get paid for, but you do the work the way they want it done and don't take it personal if they ignore you when you know have a better way. That really doesn't have to matter to you at all.