Just say "woah, woah, woah... let me finish this my point"
This is definitely the easiest for me to use, and to take without offence.
Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
121–130 of 311 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#122I have this tendency to vocalize my prediction of the speaker's next words; this is sometimes interpreted as an interruption.
When I do this, I'm not intending to stop the speaker, or even to speak over them; the goal is to demonstrate that my understanding is synchronized with what they're saying. It's a tool to improve communication, not to disrupt it.
I sometimes get the impression that 50% of people do this naturally, and 50% hate it and interpret it as interruption.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#123Earlier quoted context omitted.
I wonder is some of you here recognizing own interrupting problem have got ADHD symptoms and diagnosis? Isn't it strongly correlated with Primarily Hyperactive-Impulsive trait?
I’m not sure why you’re getting downvoted, because it absolutely is. It’s what lead me to go get tested. I just got so frustrated with myself because I just couldn’t stop interrupting, even when I was consciously working on it. At some point my wife pointed out it was an ADHD symptom, and my immediate reaction was to shrug it off. I’m a CS major, I’ve always held a steady job, and, I’ve never had problems concentrati…
I always tell people that ADHD is not an inability to pay attention, it's an inability to direct and focus one's attention at-will.
Whatever is most stimulating gets my attention.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#124I have a problem cutting people off- I get way to excited about what I want to say and jump in. I really appreciate when people call me out and don't take it personally. I also try to work on it and try to help steer the conversation to other people who have been cut off when I see it happen. So IMO don't be afraid to politely just let someone know! If you don't feel comfortable during the meeting, maybe speak with t…
Same here. I often decide that the other person have stopped talking prematurely because they've made a long pause and I was eager to jump in.
However, if I notice that I have interrupted someone too late, I finish my point, and then say "but I've interrupted you, you were talking about X", and then make an effort to listen actively instead of coming up with thoughts of my own.
Sometimes, when we get carried away, I remind the other person of something he had been talking about so long ago that even he has forgotten about it. In my experience, being able not just go with the flow of the conversation, but keeping long conversation "stack traces" in mind so you can go back and actually "return" from a "subroutine" in your conversation is one of the most useful communication skills I have.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#125Another approach you might try is to ask a coworker to step in and ask the interrupter to let you, or someone else, finish speaking. I find I do this myself primarily because I don’t believe people who aren’t comfortable being confrontational don’t deserve an equal chance to speak and be heard.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#126If this is happening consistently, it is a failure in management.
I don't think it is a Bay area specific problem, but it does correlate to startups fairly strongly (due to weak areas in management).
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#127If this happens a few times in a row, I tune out, start browsing something on your phone. When everyone starts doing this they get the message.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#128Earlier quoted context omitted.
What do you do when the director / manager is actually the one doing the interrupting?
You can still bring it up to them as a problem that you have noticed where "some people" get overeager and interrupt others. mention the downsides and ask if he can help change the culture. You don't have to point the finger at him and it helps to enlist his help rather than complain.
Why not just confront them directly? Why beat around the bush? Politeness only goes so far.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#129Someone who is interrupted will almost never listen to the interrupt. Instead, they maintain whatever they were going to say "in cache" and replay it once the interrupt is over. I've found this to be universal.
So I've learned to stop interrupting people. They're only going to listen to what I say once they're done saying what they need to. Without at least one side listening to the other, the conversation will go no where.
From there, the problem is when one person won't give others a chance to speak. On my team, we raise a hand to let the person speaking know that someone wants to get a word in. This works very well in my experience.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#130Honestly I hoped this would be a better discussion. Judging from some of the comments I would say that it is a systemic problem of people just want to stream their thoughts and ideas. You'll basically need to develop your own kit of tactics to get your points across, practice them and refine them.
What are some tactics you're currently using? Do you wait for silence and jump back to a prior point in the conversation? Do you use phrases like "I'm not on board because of X", thus forcing the conversation to revolve around your dissent? Which ones seem to work better than others?