Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#91

Post by idlewords » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 10:41 PM UTC

anthony_doan wrote: post #73

Pretty sure what you're describing is jealousy and not envy. I was envious of my friends success and higher pay but I never wanted to deny them or dream of their failure. It did motivate me and was one of the reason why I quit my public sector job for private sector. I think everybody have different path and that learning to accept it is maturity. The mindset of being better than them is terrible for me. I focus on w…

No, it's envy. A handy way to remember the distinction is that jealousy requires three parties, envy only two.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#92

Post by abledon » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 10:42 PM UTC

walru wrote: post #41

This is awful. I didn't know people felt or did things like this rather than focus on the level and quality of their own work.

Are you a patron saint or something?

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#93

Post by idlewords » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 10:42 PM UTC

hwartig wrote: post #39

Jordan B. Peterson writes in “12 Rules for Life - an antidote to chaos” that you should “compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today”

Make it your aim to live your whole life without listening to Jordan B. Peterson

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#94

Post by anbop » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 10:43 PM UTC

Really, none of this matters. We are the tiniest disturbance in the Universe — a momentary phenomenon on one of a gajillion particle balls that sent out a few infinitesimal pieces of dust in different directions before self-destructing.

So find something to enjoy while you fritter away your pointless existence. Is it family, or food, or art... if you are struggling to survive, none of this really applies, but I don’t think that’s your situation.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#95

Post by tuesdayrain » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 10:59 PM UTC

I experience 0 professional envy. If I see someone who happens to be younger and more successful, it only inspires me. It makes me me want to be friends with that person so that maybe the qualities that made them succeed will rub off on me.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#96

Post by cj » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 11:01 PM UTC

ksaj wrote: post #61

I recently was working with a quantum startup where the founder was so jealous of me he came up with a new lie about his history and accomplishments multiple times a day. It was endless, and nearly nothing he said had any basis in reality. I totally gave up on him when his lies became so audacious he got mad at me twice for casually dismissing his claims of being the real Satoshi and that Rigetti totally stole his id…

Sometimes the best thing to do in that kind of a situation is to let the person "win" the conversation every so often.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#97

Post by austincheney » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 11:04 PM UTC

I don’t know if envy is the correct word, but I do find it frustrating when people are rewarded for making harmful decisions or playing office politics over producing quality output. It’s not so much that I am jealous of their success but that their harms are now enshrined in the organization and everybody else will ultimately pay for it.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#98

Post by gh89485656 » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 11:06 PM UTC

I don't have statistics on this, but I would guess 99% of all jobs in the world, succeeding above and beyond reproach is not (should not be) an enviable goal in life. Really I think the goal should be to find people / environment that works well for you and embrace it, otherwise move on.

But if you do decide to make it a goal then work toward accomplishing it.

It sounds to me like you're wandering aimlessly in life to have decided your goals are to try to find ways to be counter-productive.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#99

Post by vikramkr » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 11:22 PM UTC

If they're my direct peers and colleagues, and they're not assholes, I think it's better for me if people around me are successful as well. I remind myself that I'd rather not be the smartest person in the room so that way I'm always driven to do better. And I can learn from people around me. I have to consciously remind myself of that, but after a while that perspective becomes instinctual- make them part of your "tribe" and you'll switch to wanting your tribe to succeed.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with professional envy?

#100

Post by colordrops » Sun, Jul 14, 2019, 11:26 PM UTC

brankoB wrote: post #80

kuiro5 wrote: post #78

This quote from Naval Ravikant: “You have to be that person. Do you want to be that person with all of their reactions, their desires, their family, their happiness level, their outlook on life, and their self image? If you’re not willing to do a whole sale, 24/7, 100% swap with who that person is, then there’s no point in being jealous.”

I don't think that quote makes much sense. I can want a specific thing someone has (e.g. praise for work done) without wanting /everything/ they have.

I think his point is that typically the context of all the particular aspects of that person's life feed into the reason why they have that one thing you want.