Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average • Hacker News Board

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#191

Post by kaybe » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 12:58 AM UTC

munificent wrote: post #121

stirfrykitty wrote: post #37

I may be in the minority, but the older I get the more I want to be alone. I love my wife and kids, but there is almost too much pressure anymore to do this, do that. There are too many hands on my time. I recharge only when alone. I cannot do it with the TV on, kids in the background, etc. It's one of the reasons I like hunting. Just me and the great outdoors. I really like getting up at 0430 and being in the deer b…

I think I'm in a similar state as you. I loved living alone. Then I got married and had kids, so now I have three roommates, two of which frequently need interaction/help/etc. I crave solitude. The most blissful vacation I can imagine is just being alone in a cabin on a lake sitting coffee and reading. I spent two days driving to see the 2016 eclipse and living in my truck alone and it was absolute bliss. At the same…

I'm not sure how this works - do you have to be there for the birthday party and playdate too?

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#192

Post by jgalt212 » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 1:04 AM UTC

nickthegreek wrote: post #3

My father passed away around 11 years back and it wasn't til several years later that it really hit me that my mom was basically all alone for large portions of her day out on the a country property. I now call her and chat for about 20 minutes a day on my commute home. I know that it has made a huge difference in her life and I feel more connected to her than ever before. I highly recommend that others take some tim…

you're a good son.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#193

Post by JMTQp8lwXL » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 1:16 AM UTC

rev12 wrote: post #54

ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

Very well put. Often when I hear about the older generation of my family, who immigrated and lived in Brooklyn for years before moving to the "burbs", I think they had good intentions but didn't do any favors for the subsequent generations. My parents grew up and stones throw away from grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins - a lot even lived in multi family, multi generational homes. When my mom had kids she had a sup…

My parents lived around all of their siblings. They're close, they make a point of seeing each other regularly. My generation? We all live in different states. I worry once my parents are gone, that the fabric of my family will no longer exist, because nobody puts the work into keeping us all together. When we do see eachother, it's because we have a meeting point (parent's home) and a holiday (e.g., Christmas) or something.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#194

Post by lr4444lr » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 1:22 AM UTC

ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

I sympathize with your general sentiment, but your Manhattan example is a glaring contradiction to your point that this has anything to do with public transit options, the lack of which I do not think has anything to do with the alienation you describe.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#195

Post by coryrc » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 1:23 AM UTC

Miner49er wrote: post #97

ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

Exactly. Cooking your family a meal, or helping your neighbor repair their house doesn't increase the GDP. However, ordering food with Uber and hiring someone to work on your house does. Being involved in your community, helping your neighbors and family, etc, isn't a "productive" activity. Another good example is programming side projects. How many people are looking to make money on their side project? Rather then…

They don't have to, they're just greedy and "need" to have a new BMW and Lexus every few years, live in fashionable neighborhoods in expensive metros, and have "important" jobs. You don't need that shit in Cleveland.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#196

Post by NikolaeVarius » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 1:28 AM UTC

chmod775 wrote: post #2

So they're more social than I am?

Definitely much more human interaction than me. Don't remember the last time I had a genuine human interaction.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#197

Post by colmvp » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 1:28 AM UTC

Rapidfir3 wrote: post #153

I always read this threads wondering if there's something wrong with me. I just never get lonely. It's kinda a scary thought but I feel like I could go my entire my life not needing to socialize. I'm married so I do socialize obviously with her and her family and my family and my friends but I've never felt any desire to be around any of them (except my wife).

I feel like people who say "I feel like I could go my entire life not needing to socializing" and then continue with "I'm married" clearly aren't seeing how their POV could be massively different if they didn't have an SO.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#198

Post by segmondy » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 1:28 AM UTC

Ididntdothis wrote: post #41

ryanmercer wrote: post #13

I'm 34 and once you add in the weekends I am and talking is extremely discouraged at work, in an open office, so even at work you're basically alone just siting there listening to music or podcasts all day. At Gym1 I talk to my lifting coach but most of the time I'm in my head focused on training, after that at Gym2 I'm just trying to do my accessory work and conditioning and don't talk to anyone other than "hey" bac…

“talking is extremely discouraged at work, in an open office, so even at work you're basically alone just siting there listening to music or podcasts all day” That’s the nutty thing about open office. The thing that’s officially supposed to encourage collaboration leads to people sitting there with headphones trying to isolate themselves and rules to not talk to each other.

depends on which one, at mine, the developers can often sounds like sales people with how chatty we can get. :D a few are annoyed by it, but that's what headphones or working remote are for.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#199

Post by mnm1 » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 1:32 AM UTC

notus wrote: post #112

taborj wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I believe this is an "introvert" vs "extrovert" situation. I'm introverted and I'm like you - spending time with folks after work is a chore. I prefer to hang around "known associates" as it were - my wife, my kid, my in-laws, my friends. Spending time with folks outside those circles is draining for me; I dread doing it, and I look forward to getting home again. However, I have a few folks in my close circles that a…

It's funny I used to think I was an introvert for so many years because I spent so much time alone. My therapist always used to tell me different and I just thought he was disconnected on that subject. How could I be an extrovert when I spent so much time alone? Wasn't until I started having managers tell me the same that I started to consider it. Turns out I really like being around people but I had a few painful ex…

Same here. I adopted introverted patterns of life because I had no one to spend time with most of the time. Now I get anxiety when going to meet people. I still do it or try to and once I'm there, I enjoy it a lot. Of course, it has to be with the right people otherwise I'd rather just stay in. It's interesting how society shapes us into what we don't want to become.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#200

Post by vonseel » Sat, Jul 13, 2019, 1:45 AM UTC

cr0sh wrote: post #117

Miner49er wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Exactly. Cooking your family a meal, or helping your neighbor repair their house doesn't increase the GDP. However, ordering food with Uber and hiring someone to work on your house does. Being involved in your community, helping your neighbors and family, etc, isn't a "productive" activity. Another good example is programming side projects. How many people are looking to make money on their side project? Rather then…

> People now feel guilty if they're not busy or productive all the time. People have forgotten the quality of Slack: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_the_SubGenius#Conspi...

TLDR for those of us who aren’t about to read this strange cult-like document?