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Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

pewresearch.org

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Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#111

Post by notus »

onemoresoop wrote: post #96
technothrasher wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I'm around people after work I generally feel more positive and have less anxiety, but left alone for too long and my anxiety will start to take over. Interesting. I'm the exact opposite. When I have to do things like hang around with people from work for too long, my anxiety increases until I can get away and be alone. I'm not a social recluse, I have a wife and kid, and I enjoy spending time with them, I try to…

Alone is the happy place because you're not getting enough of it. I think it's a balance between the two. I too need alone time and don't seem to get enough of it. I have a wife, a kid and a 9-5. About 10 years ago I was single, lived alone and at some point spent too much time alone which for a while was great but then I realized I became somewhat savage and the anxiety started to become an issue. Now that I don't g…

Yeah I think this is a pretty apt. When I was more social and hung out with people more I appreciated my alone time more but it wasn't really idle time because I was doing things that I like to do alone more. I guess it is more about having idle time where I don't do anything that can really ramp my anxiety up.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#112

Post by notus »

taborj wrote: post #86
technothrasher wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I'm around people after work I generally feel more positive and have less anxiety, but left alone for too long and my anxiety will start to take over. Interesting. I'm the exact opposite. When I have to do things like hang around with people from work for too long, my anxiety increases until I can get away and be alone. I'm not a social recluse, I have a wife and kid, and I enjoy spending time with them, I try to…

I believe this is an "introvert" vs "extrovert" situation. I'm introverted and I'm like you - spending time with folks after work is a chore. I prefer to hang around "known associates" as it were - my wife, my kid, my in-laws, my friends. Spending time with folks outside those circles is draining for me; I dread doing it, and I look forward to getting home again. However, I have a few folks in my close circles that a…

It's funny I used to think I was an introvert for so many years because I spent so much time alone. My therapist always used to tell me different and I just thought he was disconnected on that subject. How could I be an extrovert when I spent so much time alone? Wasn't until I started having managers tell me the same that I started to consider it. Turns out I really like being around people but I had a few painful experiences that made me avoid it.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#113

Post by [deleted] »

jackcosgrove wrote: post #38

Many Americans own a lot of idle property. There is a problem now where baby boomers want to age in place in their suburban homes, which locks younger people out of those properties. However these suburban homes have huge yards by global standards, that could easily support the construction of grandparent/in-law structures. It seems like one solution is for the suburban elderly to, maybe with their children's assista…

[deleted]

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#114

Post by twoheadedboy »

MiroF wrote: post #70
ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

Guys, you need to move the frick out of the suburbs. They're soul-killing. Cities are also atomized, but not to this extent. They're vibrant, booming, the schools are fine/good, and in my opinion, far worth the cut to house size.

Completely disagree. I don't think humans are meant to live in cities. Something about being around that many people and ongoings makes me and from what I can tell a lot of other people, on edge so to speak.

I grew up in a suburb and it was not at all isolating. We had close communities and nearby family. I was friends with kids on my block and had freedom to explore and be independent. I would say technology is what is driving people to isolation.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#116

Post by aparker1210 »

dymk wrote: post #64
willyg123 wrote: post #10

A YC company, Papa, is trying to solve this problem joinpapa.com

I'm skeptical of this because the elderly are one of the most vulnerable populations out there, and it's hard enough to prevent elder abuse even on vetted, professional platforms. Outsourcing elderly care to the gig economy (intentionally to college students ) sounds like a step in the wrong direction for providing reliable, safe elderly care. I hope they're able to overcome that challenge.

We have and put a huge amount of effort into ensuring only the right students are doing the service. This isn't typical gig economy.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#117

Post by cr0sh »

Miner49er wrote: post #97
ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

Exactly. Cooking your family a meal, or helping your neighbor repair their house doesn't increase the GDP. However, ordering food with Uber and hiring someone to work on your house does. Being involved in your community, helping your neighbors and family, etc, isn't a "productive" activity. Another good example is programming side projects. How many people are looking to make money on their side project? Rather then…

> People now feel guilty if they're not busy or productive all the time.

People have forgotten the quality of Slack:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_the_SubGenius#Conspi...

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#118

Post by howard941 »

ixtli wrote: post #28
howard941 wrote: post #18

When I was a yute my grandmother used to go to a senior center for cards, talk, company, and her three children lived around the corner or upstairs. In NYC that was possible: Everything walkable. She lived well into her 100s. I don't now how they do it down here in Fla where nothing's walkable and public transportation's laughable and social services can't keep up.

Hey so i upvoted this because you used the word "yute" :D

You can take the Brooklyn out of the boy...

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#119

Post by bigred100 »

hestipod wrote: post #100
cwperkins wrote: post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I see you say you’ve lived in America and it sounds like you’ve emigrated. May I ask why? I’m also from America and this couldn’t be further from my own experience. I come from a more religious family from the Midwest, but grew up in the suburbs of nyc. Through my community I’ve never felt alone and my dad is actively involved in the church. In nyc amongst the yuppies especially I see a dog eat dog mentality and how…

I am not OP but I will answer as I have relevant experience. I grew up in Midwestern US suburbs and rural areas and find the problems he/she mentioned to be accurate. "Church" is always trotted out by people there as THE community but not everyone is a religious person or finds that arrangement suitable. Transportation is a huge problem regardless as there are no buses or trams or trains in large swaths of the countr…

As someone who doesn’t practice any religion but grew up around them I’m confused about the role church seems to play for many folks. Instead of being about spiritual advancement it seems like a lot of the people are just interested in a very accepting social club with some fantasy elements. I saw very little of people sitting around talking about eg humility and how to mortify their desires rather than hanging out or reading an epistle and then interpreting it with (frankly) self-help ideology

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#120

Post by stirfrykitty »

Ididntdothis wrote: post #41
ryanmercer wrote: post #13

I'm 34 and once you add in the weekends I am and talking is extremely discouraged at work, in an open office, so even at work you're basically alone just siting there listening to music or podcasts all day. At Gym1 I talk to my lifting coach but most of the time I'm in my head focused on training, after that at Gym2 I'm just trying to do my accessory work and conditioning and don't talk to anyone other than "hey" bac…

“talking is extremely discouraged at work, in an open office, so even at work you're basically alone just siting there listening to music or podcasts all day” That’s the nutty thing about open office. The thing that’s officially supposed to encourage collaboration leads to people sitting there with headphones trying to isolate themselves and rules to not talk to each other.

I cannot work in an open office. I was forced to when I began my career in NOVA as a young Unix nerd, but now that I'm over 20 years into it, I won't work where I don't have my own office. I have one now that I share with one other person, but it's a massive office and our desks face each other from across the room. The lights are out and the trance is streaming. I cannot concentrate around people walking around, the jocks talking about fantasy sports, or silly gossip. And the smell of some people's food is truly off putting. Anyone with any kind of seniority needs an office to work. I just cannot fathom working around a dozen or more people.

You have to love these IT companies that have job offers up with photos of people working in complete harmony. It's total rubbish. No one wants to work that way given the choice.

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