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Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

pewresearch.org

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Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#91

Post by Loughla »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #58
colonelpopcorn wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not even close to being with people in person.

It actually might be worse. I hypothesize that the kinds of interactions we have online are the social equivalent of "empty calories". They tweak the brain's reward mechanism for socializing without actually getting any of the real benefits.

Oh man, I think you hit on something there. You get all of the satisfaction of interaction, but don't have to worry about being challenged, learning from any mistakes, or really learning anything; you can block anything you don't like.

I think you're onto something with that.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#92

Post by taborj »

MiroF wrote: post #70
ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

Guys, you need to move the frick out of the suburbs. They're soul-killing. Cities are also atomized, but not to this extent. They're vibrant, booming, the schools are fine/good, and in my opinion, far worth the cut to house size.

Suburbs can be soul-killing for some people.

Personally, I find cities to be excessively busy and annoying, full of folks I generally don't want to be around socially. But I'm an introvert, who enjoys being away from the crowds. I personally find suburbs to be a bit too crowded, if I'm honest.

I don't need a big house - I just need big personal space; I prefer my small 1000sq ft house, but I wish it was in the middle of a few acres.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#93

Post by jfk13 »

ryanmercer wrote: post #13

I'm 34 and once you add in the weekends I am and talking is extremely discouraged at work, in an open office, so even at work you're basically alone just siting there listening to music or podcasts all day. At Gym1 I talk to my lifting coach but most of the time I'm in my head focused on training, after that at Gym2 I'm just trying to do my accessory work and conditioning and don't talk to anyone other than "hey" bac…

I'm not quite sure whether you're saying you wish you were less alone, or that you're fine with how things are. But what strikes me in your comment is that once you leave your ("basically alone") work situation, you're choosing to spend a lot of your discretionary time doing "alone" stuff in a gym. Might it be healthier overall (even if less focused on specific physical outcomes) to spend some of that time and energy engaging in a more social activity?

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#95

Post by merpnderp »

ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

Just get to know your neighbors and make an effort to spend time with them, even if it's just a 15 minute chat after work. I've made the effort and am now on weekly hanging out terms with nearly 20 people in my neighborhood. And that's literally just the people within a short bike ride of my place.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#96

Post by onemoresoop »

technothrasher wrote: post #59
notus wrote: post #31

This resonates a lot with my experience and reminds me of a short book I read by Sebastian Junger called Tribe. His focus is more on the tribal aspect of military life and that the disassociation with a close knit group or a tribe is part of what leads to PTSD as there are quite a few people who have been in the military who have PTSD despite not ever being in combat. He claims that in smaller tribal communities ment…

If I'm around people after work I generally feel more positive and have less anxiety, but left alone for too long and my anxiety will start to take over. Interesting. I'm the exact opposite. When I have to do things like hang around with people from work for too long, my anxiety increases until I can get away and be alone. I'm not a social recluse, I have a wife and kid, and I enjoy spending time with them, I try to…

Alone is the happy place because you're not getting enough of it. I think it's a balance between the two. I too need alone time and don't seem to get enough of it. I have a wife, a kid and a 9-5. About 10 years ago I was single, lived alone and at some point spent too much time alone which for a while was great but then I realized I became somewhat savage and the anxiety started to become an issue. Now that I don't get too much alone time I cherish every opportunity I get but I'll always steer away from long periods of isolation. It's not healthy.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#97

Post by Miner49er »

ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

Exactly. Cooking your family a meal, or helping your neighbor repair their house doesn't increase the GDP. However, ordering food with Uber and hiring someone to work on your house does. Being involved in your community, helping your neighbors and family, etc, isn't a "productive" activity.

Another good example is programming side projects. How many people are looking to make money on their side project? Rather then just help people? Or how many people only have side projects because they feel like they have to in order to stay competitive in the job market? Probably the vast majority.

We've developed a culture where we fetishize productivity and always making money. People now feel guilty if they're not busy or productive all the time.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#98

Post by Loughla »

willyg123 wrote: post #10

A YC company, Papa, is trying to solve this problem joinpapa.com

Oooo, that is a platform just waiting to be exploited by conmen/women. The elderly are notoriously easy to scam and notoriously confused by technology; and you're collecting them in one spot to make it easier.

What do your controls on 'grandkids' look like? Because if I put on my black hat, I could absolutely feed an addiction for pills, valuables to pawn, or just straight up money through that service.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#99

Post by PopeDotNinja »

cwperkins wrote: post #84
ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

I see you say you’ve lived in America and it sounds like you’ve emigrated. May I ask why? I’m also from America and this couldn’t be further from my own experience. I come from a more religious family from the Midwest, but grew up in the suburbs of nyc. Through my community I’ve never felt alone and my dad is actively involved in the church. In nyc amongst the yuppies especially I see a dog eat dog mentality and how…

I had a friend who moved to Texas with his family to take a job. He didn't go to church, and said that alone made it pretty hard to make friends there. He moved back to CA for that reason. So I guess going to church is one way to make friends, if you're into that.

Re: Older Americans are alone half their waking hours, on average

#100

Post by hestipod »

cwperkins wrote: post #84
ixtli wrote: post #17

As an anecdote, I've lived the majority of my life in America (born and raised middle class on the east coast in a wealthy area) and if I was tasked with writing an account of my time here it would be focused around one thing: alienation. American life is atomized and consistently getting more so. For anyone who sits around and thinks about why people are the way they are here I highly encourage you to consider that…

I see you say you’ve lived in America and it sounds like you’ve emigrated. May I ask why? I’m also from America and this couldn’t be further from my own experience. I come from a more religious family from the Midwest, but grew up in the suburbs of nyc. Through my community I’ve never felt alone and my dad is actively involved in the church. In nyc amongst the yuppies especially I see a dog eat dog mentality and how…

I am not OP but I will answer as I have relevant experience. I grew up in Midwestern US suburbs and rural areas and find the problems he/she mentioned to be accurate. "Church" is always trotted out by people there as THE community but not everyone is a religious person or finds that arrangement suitable. Transportation is a huge problem regardless as there are no buses or trams or trains in large swaths of the country. Culture, politics, and lifestyles in the bulk of the Midwest, while possibly ideal for you or others, are NOT for equally as many people. My "neighbors" are not nearby, not sociable at all, and not people I would choose to be around anyway for a number of reasons. I have heard your opinion of cities my entire life growing up, and believed them until I lived in one. For me it was life changing and gave me access to people like me and culture I enjoyed and awareness that not everyone had the politics I was told were "correct", and being dragged back here was equally life changing in a negative way.
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