It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy • Hacker News Board

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#21

Post by dasyatidprime » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:08 AM UTC

fulafel wrote: post #16

Language question as non-native speaker: (M-W) dictionary definition of "success" refers to "succeed" which goes.. "1a : to come next after another in office or position or in possession of an estate especially : to inherit sovereignty, rank, or title " and "2a : to turn out well, b : to attain a desired object or end " When people use the word to mean securing a good position in a corporation, are they consciously u…

It's usually meaning 2, but “success” as applied to life can refer by contextual metonymy to success in any number of areas of life, so securing a good position in a corporation can be considered a particular form of success. Career-oriented advice shows up a lot on HN, in which career-focused successes are likely to come up as central examples of the idea of life success, even though they aren't necessarily a representative class of all successes.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#22

Post by dasyatidprime » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:10 AM UTC

slfnflctd wrote: post #19

dasyatidprime wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If that worked enough of the time, articles like the OP wouldn't get written much. Emotionally speaking, giving up is actually a pretty sticky idea! The potential for putting a pile of effort in, finding it wasn't really enough, and being confronted afterward with all the things you did wrong with no chance to correct them now is paralyzing ; it's “safer” in a way to not try, never know, and only experience the one,…

That was brutally real. Our short attention spans keep giving us new chances, though. If you decide to give up, you can't just do it once (okay, you can, but please don't)-- you have to keep deciding to give up every day. Eventually you realize you're going to need to give up on giving up, at least some of the time. However, I know what you mean quite fully. I've given up on everything from academic hopes, to artisti…

Thus “know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em”.

Which still isn't good to use as an excuse for fatalism, of course. “Knowing when” may be superficially similar to giving up out of raw emotional weakness, but it's not the same underneath at all.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#23

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:12 AM UTC

puranjay wrote: post #13

superqd wrote: post #7

Yeah, I totally suffer from this far too much. Intellectually, I understand that much of the success of my peers of which I'm envious, has nothing to do with my abilities, per se, but more to do with luck and personality differences. I am who I am, and that affects the probabilities of who I meet and when, and what opportunities I'm willing to chase when they arise. I know this, and realize the, primarily, financial…

Have you ever seen the kind of backgrounds people who are frequently lauded in the media for being successful early come from? Most had some luxuries that you probably did not - wealthy parents, extensive training in their chosen field, etc. It's not always about talent. Knowing that your parents have millions allows you to think in a way someone struggling to pay rent can't. I wasn't able to think long-term and actu…

[deleted]

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#24

Post by Ididntdothis » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:16 AM UTC

spraak wrote: post #14

As a Hindu who believes in reincarnation, it gives me a sort of patience that certain things may not be possible for me this lifetime, and that's ok. It doesn't make me try for any less, but I am less attached to the outcome.

Same here. I am not really a Buddhist and don't really believe in reincarnation but it still gives me a sense of peace that maybe this life is not really that important. rationally it doesn't make sense but it gives me peace.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#25

Post by tasty_freeze » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:17 AM UTC

ziroshima wrote: post #6

Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to yourself yesterday, last week, last month, last year. I don't know where this saying comes from, but to me, it's the only motivational saying that matters.

That might work for some people, especially in the phase of life where things are on the upswing. But when you get to be 60 or 70, it is important to find satisfaction in other ways too, since for the great majority of people, comparing to what you used to be capable of will lead to a bad outcome.

In retirement many people have to face the question for the first time, "Who am I?" Before retirement it was easy to answer the thought with your job description, but really that is what you do, not who you are.

I think it would be beneficial to ask questions like that before getting to retirement so the transition isn't so jarring, and you might find it causes you to reevaluate your priorities. "Does what I do make the world better, or does it just make a paycheck?" "Will what I do make a difference after I'm gone?" "Who would care if I disappeared tomorrow?" "When I'm on my death bed, what will I regret having done? Not done?" etc These questions don't have to result in an all-consuming angst, but it is important to think about them at least a bit every once in a while.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#26

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:18 AM UTC

puranjay wrote: post #13

superqd wrote: post #7

Yeah, I totally suffer from this far too much. Intellectually, I understand that much of the success of my peers of which I'm envious, has nothing to do with my abilities, per se, but more to do with luck and personality differences. I am who I am, and that affects the probabilities of who I meet and when, and what opportunities I'm willing to chase when they arise. I know this, and realize the, primarily, financial…

Have you ever seen the kind of backgrounds people who are frequently lauded in the media for being successful early come from? Most had some luxuries that you probably did not - wealthy parents, extensive training in their chosen field, etc. It's not always about talent. Knowing that your parents have millions allows you to think in a way someone struggling to pay rent can't. I wasn't able to think long-term and actu…

[deleted]

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#27

Post by ratsmack » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:19 AM UTC

I don't believe everyone's definition of success and happiness is the same. Some people feel successful with simple achievements where others need large achievements to meet their goal of success. It's a similar situation with happiness which is achieved with considerable variability between individuals.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#28

Post by provolone » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:24 AM UTC

puranjay wrote: post #15

provolone wrote: post #3

Charles Bukowski immediately came to mind while reading the list of late bloomers.

Bukowski isn't the best example because while he became successful late in life, he'd been working on his craft for decades earlier. He didn't take up writing at 50; he just started getting published at 50. He already had decades of experience. If Bukowski had never written a thing until he was 45, then it would make sense

He wrote of being refused by publishers when he was younger. It was his perseverance that brought him through. He never gave up on writing or drinking.

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#29

Post by kranner » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:27 AM UTC

lanrh1836 wrote: post #5

This makes the wrong assumption that happiness comes with success. Success doesn’t bring happiness. If anything, being happy in the first place is what gives you a better chance at achieving success.

Even in day to day life, in my personal experience, being happy results in a creative, productive day full of happy curiosity in which I get a lot done and plan a lot of things to do in the future. Presumably that's the kind of day that builds to material success (if it's not what 'success' in itself looks like).

Re: It's Never Too Late to Be Successful and Happy

#30

Post by keyle » Tue, Jul 09, 2019, 4:31 AM UTC

lanrh1836 wrote: post #5

This makes the wrong assumption that happiness comes with success. Success doesn’t bring happiness. If anything, being happy in the first place is what gives you a better chance at achieving success.

Exactly.

Even the quote used:

> “Comparison is the thief of joy.” —Theodore Roosevelt

Isn't 'success' a form of comparison? How do you quantify success? Is it binary? Is it a validation from peers?

Do your own thing, be excellent at it, have fun.