Prioritizing clients over kids seems misguided if there's a conscious choice being made, but in my childhood I think I benefited a lot from benign neglect: not having everything micromanaged by my parents who let me figure things out on my own, just because they didn't feel like they had to help me the moment I have the slightest hint of a problem. Thanks to this I could pursue things that _I_ (rather than my parents…
I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
131–140 of 358 posts
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#132Earlier quoted context omitted.
Americans assign a silly and unjustified sentimental value to things like birthday parties and school outings. Part of my wife’s family is Jehovah’s witnesses, who don’t even celebrate birthdays. Are those kids somehow missing out? Do you think the immigrant parents that own a Chinese restaurant open seven days a week make it to any of their kids school functions or camping trips? Are they being irreparably damaged?
I had immigrant parents who had to work all the time to build and grow their business, so I didn’t have birthdays and that kind of stuff. I don’t care about that kind of stuff at all, not to say that I hate it or anything. I haven’t studied other children, so I can only make statements about myself. The only negative of my childhood regarding the lack of birthdays and whatnot is the inability to feign excitement for…
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#133Earlier quoted context omitted.
Small correction -- members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (of which I am one) don't have to give up on caffeine. There were some people who taught and practiced that, but that is largely in the past. Even BYU, the church-owned school, now sells fully-caffeinated Coke on campus. This was a fairly recent development. As well, members are encouraged to avoid any media that includes sexually explicit…
As an atheist, that sounds terrible. Also there is some legit criticism: taken from wikipedia (where you can see the sources): It also warns members to "avoid independent thinking", claiming such thinking "was introduced by Satan the Devil" and would "cause division". Those who openly disagree with official teachings are condemned as "apostates" who are "mentally diseased". https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah%27s…
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#134Well I was watching this video of Jordson Peterson yesterday. https://youtu.be/44f3mxcsI50?t=2537 It has some great ideas and pretty much somesup every thing. Watch little bit longer as he goes from one subject to another and then come back to point.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#135Earlier quoted context omitted.
>Parents today spend more than twice as much time today with their kids today than fifty years ago That's a good point but there's some detail missing here: how are the kids being raised. Historically, kids were raised within a tribal or quasi-tribal structure. When you have grandparents, siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts always around, room to play and explore, you don't need parents to be there 24/7 hovering over…
> Historically, kids were raised within a tribal or quasi-tribal structure. When you have grandparents, siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts always around, room to play and explore, you don't need parents to be there 24/7 hovering over you. You learn independence as well as a way to interact and negotiate with others. Mostly untrue in Western Europe for more than 500 years[1] and very much untrue in North America, to…
This mother describes the worst of all worlds. She's not involved in the lives of her kids. The kids are shuttled between her and her father. The nanny and her preschool teacher are the primary caregivers. It just isn't great. The fact that she wrote this article in the nyTimes to pat herself on the back for what a great job she's doing for society (Hint: She's not that important and society will survive without her) - is distasteful.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#136> 6) It's impossible to perfectly balance a 40 hour working week and family. Best you can aim for is a kind of homeostasis where work suffers for family one week and then family suffers a bit for work the next. The article refers to things like: > But there is always another client to defend, story to write or struggling student who just can’t wait. Here are things I have missed: my daughter’s seventh birthday, my so…
Americans assign a silly and unjustified sentimental value to things like birthday parties and school outings. Part of my wife’s family is Jehovah’s witnesses, who don’t even celebrate birthdays. Are those kids somehow missing out? Do you think the immigrant parents that own a Chinese restaurant open seven days a week make it to any of their kids school functions or camping trips? Are they being irreparably damaged?
Those scenarios are what you make of them. They're not always doom and gloom. :) Honestly I think a family business is a better situation than a draconican employer that expects one to devote their life to them.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#137Well I was watching this video of Jordson Peterson yesterday. https://youtu.be/44f3mxcsI50?t=2537 It has some great ideas and pretty much somesup every thing. Watch little bit longer as he goes from one subject to another and then come back to point.
Will you be posting Ben Shapiro videos later?
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#138One morning, about 2am in one of the Mission Control rooms at JSC, I was sitting next to two semi-retired flight controllers managing a simulation. They went back to Apollo. One of my 20-something peers walked back to our row where the pizza boxes lay, ruffled through them, sighed “its all cold” and walked back to his terminal. Now, we’d been doing this for weeks. Old fart #1 turns to #2 and says under his breath “Yo…
You know, I think we would have still made it to the moon if those two guys spent time with their family
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#139Earlier quoted context omitted.
Small correction -- members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (of which I am one) don't have to give up on caffeine. There were some people who taught and practiced that, but that is largely in the past. Even BYU, the church-owned school, now sells fully-caffeinated Coke on campus. This was a fairly recent development. As well, members are encouraged to avoid any media that includes sexually explicit…
As an atheist, that sounds terrible. Also there is some legit criticism: taken from wikipedia (where you can see the sources): It also warns members to "avoid independent thinking", claiming such thinking "was introduced by Satan the Devil" and would "cause division". Those who openly disagree with official teachings are condemned as "apostates" who are "mentally diseased". https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah%27s…
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#140Earlier quoted context omitted.
>because when he was here he was always attentive. That doesn't sounds like the author. Kids will understand if a parent is away because they are working to make their (i.e. the kid's) life better. My father worked long hours, sometimes multiple jobs, all his life for little money, as did my mother. Even though they weren't around for some of my recitals or Christmas pageants, I respect them both that much more becau…
Some people are bitter and resentful and would have had the exact same childhood you did and think their parents weren’t there for them. People in extremely similar circumstances feel very differently about them all the time, often enough within the same family.