Earlier quoted context omitted.
Had to know what happened to the other kid(s) and whether it was just one: "Their first son, Nevada Alexander Musk, died of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) at the age of 10 weeks." More interestingly, the five are two twins and three triplets. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elon_Musk
Wouldn’t that mean fertility drugs were probably involved? Anyways, I guess he really likes kids, which is a bit surprising.
I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
91–100 of 358 posts
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#92> 6) It's impossible to perfectly balance a 40 hour working week and family. Best you can aim for is a kind of homeostasis where work suffers for family one week and then family suffers a bit for work the next. The article refers to things like: > But there is always another client to defend, story to write or struggling student who just can’t wait. Here are things I have missed: my daughter’s seventh birthday, my so…
Americans assign a silly and unjustified sentimental value to things like birthday parties and school outings. Part of my wife’s family is Jehovah’s witnesses, who don’t even celebrate birthdays. Are those kids somehow missing out? Do you think the immigrant parents that own a Chinese restaurant open seven days a week make it to any of their kids school functions or camping trips? Are they being irreparably damaged?
Yes, no, yes
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#93I'm a single father of five who obtained full-time custody last year, and trying to balance work and parenting is a never-ending challenge. Some of my observations: 1) Kids have a great time with other kids, so don't feel bad about daycare. Having them at home full-time past the age of 2 is, I think, more about the parent than the child. 2) Sometimes kids just suck, and work can be a glorious escape. 3) School life i…
And because I left it too late to edit it in. 7) You will feel, at times, like you're letting down everyone equally, workmates and children both. And you just have to ride with it. And I've found that workmates will notice your child related late starts or early finishes, and resent them. The only solution is communication. And a decent employer. Our work culture also assumes two people families to an extent.
> You will feel, at times, like you're letting down everyone equally
My girlfriend struggles with that quite a bit. And now that we're fully cohabitated and my work-from-home / lack-of-commute situation allows me to participate in more kids things that aren't accomodating to parents with traditional work schedules and typical commutes... I get heaps of praise from everyone, including her, for basically just not being a dick.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#94If you have children and then choose to work over doing the legitimately full time job of being a parent (full time being at least 40 hours a week, not that you can't do anything else ever) you need to provide them at least a parent to do that job or else you are neglecting them. Psychology is pretty uniform in the observation that children need parents, preferably both, but just one is a massive developmental influe…
From TFA: > They were lovingly cared for by their father, their grandmother, my son’s preschool teacher and my daughter’s babysitter. Sounds like there were at least two family members watching the kids on a regular basis.
IIRC too many caregivers can result in them having issues. If you sleep in 4 different beds you'll never feel at home.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#95I made the opposite choice. I'm a single father and I've prioritised my children over my career. I'm not going to pretend it's an amazing lifestyle. If you're intellectually driven then looking after two young children isn't fascinating. However, I love them and they rely on me. I made a choice to bring them into the world and I'm not going to neglect them. I have the kids more than their mother does, and I also pay…
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Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#96Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Do you think the immigrant parents that own a Chinese restaurant open seven days a week make it to any of their kids school functions or camping trips? Are they being irreparably damaged? Based on my experience going to college with a few kids like that, yes. They all resented their childhood and the fact that the only way to see their parents was to work in the restaurant.
Yet they’re in college. Their parents having prioritized work over their kids undoubtedly will allow those kids to live an immensely better life than they would have otherwise. There’s millions of people in the world that would trade places with them in a heartbeat. One of my fears is that my kids will learn these bad American ideas from media. I saw my daughter watching a Disney show (Bunk’d), where a high achieving…
All I can say is amen brother!
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#97Earlier quoted context omitted.
Witnesses miss out on birthdays, non Witnesses miss out on being a part of their community with the benefits and disadvantages that come with that. I’m not familiar with them but any demanding (and hence cohesive) religious community I’m aware of is it’s own social group, support network, family substitute if someone is sick or when somebody dies or just needs to move. Mormons celebrate birthdays but the adults have…
Small correction -- members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (of which I am one) don't have to give up on caffeine. There were some people who taught and practiced that, but that is largely in the past. Even BYU, the church-owned school, now sells fully-caffeinated Coke on campus. This was a fairly recent development. As well, members are encouraged to avoid any media that includes sexually explicit…
As an atheist, that sounds terrible. Also there is some legit criticism: taken from wikipedia (where you can see the sources): It also warns members to "avoid independent thinking", claiming such thinking "was introduced by Satan the Devil" and would "cause division". Those who openly disagree with official teachings are condemned as "apostates" who are "mentally diseased".
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah%27s_Witnesses
This has nothing to do with being a community in my mind. A community would help it's people develop and not keep them in (mental) chains.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#98> 6) It's impossible to perfectly balance a 40 hour working week and family. Best you can aim for is a kind of homeostasis where work suffers for family one week and then family suffers a bit for work the next. The article refers to things like: > But there is always another client to defend, story to write or struggling student who just can’t wait. Here are things I have missed: my daughter’s seventh birthday, my so…
Americans assign a silly and unjustified sentimental value to things like birthday parties and school outings. Part of my wife’s family is Jehovah’s witnesses, who don’t even celebrate birthdays. Are those kids somehow missing out? Do you think the immigrant parents that own a Chinese restaurant open seven days a week make it to any of their kids school functions or camping trips? Are they being irreparably damaged?
If the children grow up in an environment that (unreasonably?) values birthdays then they'll (unreasonably?) resent that their parents weren't with them.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#99Earlier quoted context omitted.
And because I left it too late to edit it in. 7) You will feel, at times, like you're letting down everyone equally, workmates and children both. And you just have to ride with it. And I've found that workmates will notice your child related late starts or early finishes, and resent them. The only solution is communication. And a decent employer. Our work culture also assumes two people families to an extent.
> You will feel, at times, like you're letting down everyone equally My girlfriend struggles with that quite a bit. And now that we're fully cohabitated and my work-from-home / lack-of-commute situation allows me to participate in more kids things that aren't accomodating to parents with traditional work schedules and typical commutes... I get heaps of praise from everyone, including her, for basically just not being…
Eh, the bar is set low for men. Stick around, hold down a job, and actually parent, and you're considered amazing.
It's the flip side of the "women with careers are neglecting their children" and "men at the park are paedos!" mindset.
It's nice having positive feedback, but I'd prefer a society where it's unremarked upon.
Re: I’ve Picked My Job over My Kids
#100I'm a single father of five who obtained full-time custody last year, and trying to balance work and parenting is a never-ending challenge. Some of my observations: 1) Kids have a great time with other kids, so don't feel bad about daycare. Having them at home full-time past the age of 2 is, I think, more about the parent than the child. 2) Sometimes kids just suck, and work can be a glorious escape. 3) School life i…
Daycare is not only great fun for the kids - playing with their peers is fun - it's also fantastic for their development.
We have an excellent daycare. My daughter spends three days a week crafting, playing outside with kids, baking, doing make-up etc. The carers have skills that I don't have and my kids get to enjoy that.
We both work four days a week so the kids get lots of parent time and we get a bit of a rest from them.