61–70 of 76 posts
First, as always you get better by practicing. Second, you don't need to be witty or spontaneous at all. You can think of a nice thing beforehand ( * ) and just use it when there is an opportunity. You can also make sure that the possible downside is low by e.g. talking when it is clear that you don't have to spend half an hour sitting next to another in, then, awkward silence. Some sort of reason for initiating a co…
First, as always you get better by practicing. Second, you don't need to be witty or spontaneous at all. You can think of a nice thing beforehand ( * ) and just use it when there is an opportunity. You can also make sure that the possible downside is low by e.g. talking when it is clear that you don't have to spend half an hour sitting next to another in, then, awkward silence. Some sort of reason for initiating a co…
Eg: An elderly woman was sharing Uber pool with me. She was complaining to someone over the phone about how Uber's new app does not have an option. I knew that the option was present, just that they moved it to a different page in the app. Should I communicate this to her after her phone call? What if she thinks I'm listening to her private conversation? I finally didn't tell her anything.
First, as always you get better by practicing. Second, you don't need to be witty or spontaneous at all. You can think of a nice thing beforehand ( * ) and just use it when there is an opportunity. You can also make sure that the possible downside is low by e.g. talking when it is clear that you don't have to spend half an hour sitting next to another in, then, awkward silence. Some sort of reason for initiating a co…
As an Indian in the US, I do not understand what is acceptable, and what is not. Eg: An elderly woman was sharing Uber pool with me. She was complaining to someone over the phone about how Uber's new app does not have an option. I knew that the option was present, just that they moved it to a different page in the app. Should I communicate this to her after her phone call? What if she thinks I'm listening to her priv…
I’m in San Francisco for work and yesterday an elderly man made a comment about the heat outside of a Walgreens. I didn’t really have much to do, and I really enjoy walking around San Francisco with it’s beautiful light pastel palette, rolling hills, and masonry so we walked and walked for about 3 hours. I was a bit tired by the end, and his story was a bit sad at times but when we finally departed I’d learned a trem…
I'm the guy that if you're in the line at walmart with me, I'm going to start talking to you. I've met some down right interesting folks this way. I also travel for work a lot. Talking to people in the hotel lobby is one of my favorite hobbies. I've met CEOs, truck drivers and people on vacation, all of them really interesting folks. Everyone has a story or a piece of advice to give you. Just ask.
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Where are you that it would be that much of a problem, if you don't mind me asking? Cultural normals are one thing, but on a personal level people do tend to enjoy interacting with one another.
I'm from the US but I've spent a deal of time outside the US, primarily in Eastern Europe. In my experience, it is extremely uncommon to strike up conversations with strangers in Eastern European countries. My wife, having spent a great deal of time in Eastern Europe as well, described it best to me - Americans are extremely good at having a surface-level chat with just about anyone. However, it is neigh impossible f…
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>Older strangers here mostly want to talk about...how much they hate The Gays and trans people, Do your part and engage these hateful people. Show them love. Tell them you're queer and support LGBTQ people. We won't squash hate by ignoring the problem.
Doesn't work. I'm not going to change the mind of a 60+ Baptist who's devoted their whole life to getting into heaven. They believe my soul is at stake and that accepting that part of me is itself a sin. They bolster their worldview every Sunday. The entire community they inhabit supports and defends this perspective.
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Doesn't work. I'm not going to change the mind of a 60+ Baptist who's devoted their whole life to getting into heaven. They believe my soul is at stake and that accepting that part of me is itself a sin. They bolster their worldview every Sunday. The entire community they inhabit supports and defends this perspective.
I'm not suggesting that it will work on one individual. It's about creating a space where these people receive criticism for their hateful views, but in a productive way. It's about standing up for your friends and family. It's about living in a society. I hate the C word, but ignoring them is cowardly.
[1] https://www.advocate.com/crime/2019/6/08/police-investigatin...
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>Older strangers here mostly want to talk about...how much they hate The Gays and trans people, Do your part and engage these hateful people. Show them love. Tell them you're queer and support LGBTQ people. We won't squash hate by ignoring the problem.
Doesn't work. I'm not going to change the mind of a 60+ Baptist who's devoted their whole life to getting into heaven. They believe my soul is at stake and that accepting that part of me is itself a sin. They bolster their worldview every Sunday. The entire community they inhabit supports and defends this perspective.
You'd be surprised. Like habits, old thought patterns die hard, but nearly every person with a bigoted view that changes their mind does so after meeting people who don't fit the mold their prejudices try to force them into.
Your conversation might not change their mind, and they may never change, but if their narrow worldview does one day crumble it'll probably be a death by a thousand cuts so every little cut makes a difference. Even for the devout the cognitive dissonance is always there somewhere. Feel free to feed it when you get the chance.
First, as always you get better by practicing. Second, you don't need to be witty or spontaneous at all. You can think of a nice thing beforehand ( * ) and just use it when there is an opportunity. You can also make sure that the possible downside is low by e.g. talking when it is clear that you don't have to spend half an hour sitting next to another in, then, awkward silence. Some sort of reason for initiating a co…
As an Indian in the US, I do not understand what is acceptable, and what is not. Eg: An elderly woman was sharing Uber pool with me. She was complaining to someone over the phone about how Uber's new app does not have an option. I knew that the option was present, just that they moved it to a different page in the app. Should I communicate this to her after her phone call? What if she thinks I'm listening to her priv…
Maybe just ask her.
I remember a conversation I had with an Indian coworker - he asked me, "Why do Americans get so upset when I honk my car horn at them in traffic?"
That led to an interesting conversation.
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It depends on where you are in Chicago. Riding public transit or walking in downtown? Leave everyone alone. Most other places? Give it a shot.
Why not walking downtown? Last time I was in Chicago I was approached by a hustler almost immediately after I got out of the parking garage. He gave me the typical spiel about his family being down the block and he was out of money. Not out of the ordinary for Chicago. We engaged in small talk for a minute. After I put a $5 in his hand, he began to break down and explain that I was the "first white person" to talk to…
In my experience, because people got shit to do, whoch is why they're downtown.
Re: your new friend, the hustler.
You're a special person, because the standard reaction to that kind of person is to walk around them without making eye contact. I commuted through downtown daily, and I got to recognizing the hustlers pulling out the same rehearsed stories over and over again.
Of course, you definitely don't want to become as much of a cynic as me :)