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The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

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Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#201

Post by souprock »

ratsimihah wrote: post #50
realPubkey wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had the same situation. A non sustainable life. With her all changed. I go to the gym so she does not have a skinny boyfriend. When I find something good at netflix I wait until she is home and we can watch it together. When I find a nice place, I remmember it so I can show her the nice bench under that tree in my hometown. I always have flashback about the time I moved to another city without family bondings. Then…

That sounds great! Just be careful not too become too dependent on someone else.

Becoming dependent is part of the deal. It keeps people together through the difficult times.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#202

Post by Creationer »

symlinkk wrote: post #141

Dating apps ruined modern relationships. 80% of women go for the top 20% of men.

I think we would be certainly better off banning free dating websites and apps. Get people back into the real world where they can see and smell eachother. Heck, even speed dating is better.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#203

Post by luckylion »

taway060619 wrote: post #90

I’ve been feeling a pretty intense sort of depression and loneliness for the last month or so. The feelings of “you’re a white male and you work in tech and you are wealthy you are a SATAN” is just becoming too much :(. I volunteer a tremendous amount in education, where I’m the only male I generally even see in my field, and I constantly have to listen to my coworkers gleefully talk about how excited they are at how…

Don't try to win over people by appeasing them, it won't work and you'll hate yourself in the end. Helping those in need is great, but you need to do it in a way that doesn't burn you out. It sounds like that's the route you're on.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#204

Post by WalterGR »

ohboyherewego wrote: post #145
jonahrd wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just a piece of advice: try to take a step back and listen more carefully to the complaints you're hearing. When people talk about dismantling the patriarchy, or about racial privilege, they are not actually talking about any one particular person. You are fully able to be white, male, privileged, and still be an ally to those who do not benefit as much from the power structures in our society. Instead of feeling per…

Them: “I hate all black people, we must solve the problem of brown-ness which is pervasive in our society .” This commenter: “You should listen closely to the complaints of these people, they have legitimate concerns and you need to become an ally to help them tackle the problems they are mentioning. They are not directing hate at you in particular so you should not be personally offended.”

It’s super interesting how many accounts there are like yours that are newly created and appear to only exist to espouse conservative viewpoints.

Out of curiosity, how did you personally come to be here on Hacker News?

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#205

Post by jniedrauer »

malvosenior wrote: post #192
jniedrauer wrote: post #189

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bringing a child into the world to increase my own personal happiness, when nothing else I could do has such a direct and massive climate impact, is not something I can justify personally. Not to mention, my child would have to live to see the impacts of climate change. There is coming a point (it has already passed, in my opinion), where we can no longer justify our purpose for existence as "creating more humans."

Aside from eradicating the human race, any changes to climate will have to be driven by humans. Someone’s child will help solve the problem. It could be your’s.

There is no shortage of humans who want to have children. Not all 7 billion of us can have a family.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#206

Post by brianmc21 »

xenospn wrote: post #129
residentfoam wrote: post #106

I have been lucky enough to be able to work and live in several countries around the world. One thing in common I noticed in all these places is that guys and girls don't have time and don't want to commit to a stable long relation. They invest pretty much themselves and their time in their career, traveling , parties, dogs, cats and bitcoins :) ! The mantra is to get rich and retire at 40 years old! Travel the world…

I think having kids is scientifically proven to make you unhappy and greatly increase your stress levels. It’s no wonder people just put off having kids until they can, or pass on having them altogether.

I feel as though having children will make a lot of people very happy. But there is also a significant part(>1%) of the population that would be miserable.

I believe a lot of the unhappiness is often from someone who was pressured into a choice they didn't critically think about or didn't want but caved in. Even if the pool of people is small the experience could be quite negative. Where as all the people who always wanted them will be happy.

I took care of my brother and sisters a lot as a child and it made it very clear that I never wanted children.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#208

Post by zaccus »

xenospn wrote: post #129
residentfoam wrote: post #106

I have been lucky enough to be able to work and live in several countries around the world. One thing in common I noticed in all these places is that guys and girls don't have time and don't want to commit to a stable long relation. They invest pretty much themselves and their time in their career, traveling , parties, dogs, cats and bitcoins :) ! The mantra is to get rich and retire at 40 years old! Travel the world…

I think having kids is scientifically proven to make you unhappy and greatly increase your stress levels. It’s no wonder people just put off having kids until they can, or pass on having them altogether.

There's no way to objectively measure happiness, so no that hasn't been proven.

Personally, I've found having a kid to be less stressful, less expensive, and more rewarding than my college/career experience. I'm happier now than I ever was before. Yeah it's hard sometimes, but what isn't?

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#209

Post by thrower123 »

taway060619 wrote: post #90

I’ve been feeling a pretty intense sort of depression and loneliness for the last month or so. The feelings of “you’re a white male and you work in tech and you are wealthy you are a SATAN” is just becoming too much :(. I volunteer a tremendous amount in education, where I’m the only male I generally even see in my field, and I constantly have to listen to my coworkers gleefully talk about how excited they are at how…

Find some people that appreciate you, and leave the ungrateful ones to rot in their own venom. Life is too short to give the time of day to people that just want to tear you down. Like the horse in Animal Farm, if you give more, they'll take more, until you are nothing but a bitter, worn out husk.

Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness

#210

Post by theonlyklas »

WhompingWindows wrote: post #131
theonlyklas wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Going home feels so meh... I can go work through more Sherlock Holmes videos or Netflix series or work on music or art, but there is no one to share with, no one to talk to throughout the day, no one to engage with on my passions. I just kinda laze about without more contact. Invite someone over! >If anyone in Providence, RI wants to hang, let me know! I actually live in Cranston, lol. You like biking? Cryptocurrenc…

Hecks yeah! I bike around East Bay Path, Blackstone River Path, I also love to ride around the Boulevard on the East Side. What kind of music are you into? I play piano, a buddy of mine is into guitar and Linnstrument. We may be having a board game night tonight actually, been looking forward to it, LMK if you want to stop by.

My friends do more instrumental and hip hop style production. I'll send you a message! I might be busy tonight, but we should keep in touch.
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