Dating apps ruined modern relationships. 80% of women go for the top 20% of men.
The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
141–150 of 1001 posts
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#142Earlier quoted context omitted.
Attend some meetups in your area/start going to the gym regularly if you aren't already, I find the gym is a good way to meet people.
Are they? I usually feel like the last thing I'd ever do at a gym is talk to someone, and someone talking to me would be really surprising...
I find that if I'm going to the gym to work out, I don't much talk to people - when I'm lifting or on the treadmill or whatever, I'm focused on what I'm doing, and everybody else seems to be in the same boat. However, if it's something like a pickup basketball or soccer game, there's always time when you are waiting around between games that there is time for people to interact and chit-chat. Even more so with something like softball, where half the game you have down-time sitting in the dugout waiting to get up to bat.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#143https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/bc/content/shared/conten... Key take away: By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equa…
This view was a major building block of civilization for thousands of years. Weird how willingly people throw it away these days and then wonder why family is collapsing and mental illness is widespread and increasing
One could argue that any period of change, be it personal or societal, involves a period of anxiety and tumult, which is often an unavoidable part of growth/progress. Could we not be in exactly such a period?
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#144[flagged]
Surprised this wasn't mentioned earlier - I definitely agree neoliberalism to be much more likely the culprit than the other way around.
Some authors such as Houellebecq count feminism as part of the atomising dynamic of neoliberalism. His idea is that sexuality becomes a parallel but no less commoditized market that works both bin tandem with and apart from the economic one. In this case the free choice of partners means that most people compete to get the attention of the partners with the best possible sexual capital, while many fail to have any partner at all if below a certain threshold of such capital.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#145I’ve been feeling a pretty intense sort of depression and loneliness for the last month or so. The feelings of “you’re a white male and you work in tech and you are wealthy you are a SATAN” is just becoming too much :(. I volunteer a tremendous amount in education, where I’m the only male I generally even see in my field, and I constantly have to listen to my coworkers gleefully talk about how excited they are at how…
Just a piece of advice: try to take a step back and listen more carefully to the complaints you're hearing. When people talk about dismantling the patriarchy, or about racial privilege, they are not actually talking about any one particular person. You are fully able to be white, male, privileged, and still be an ally to those who do not benefit as much from the power structures in our society. Instead of feeling per…
Them: “I hate all black people, we must solve the problem of brown-ness which is pervasive in our society .”
This commenter: “You should listen closely to the complaints of these people, they have legitimate concerns and you need to become an ally to help them tackle the problems they are mentioning. They are not directing hate at you in particular so you should not be personally offended.”
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#146Earlier quoted context omitted.
Just a piece of advice: try to take a step back and listen more carefully to the complaints you're hearing. When people talk about dismantling the patriarchy, or about racial privilege, they are not actually talking about any one particular person. You are fully able to be white, male, privileged, and still be an ally to those who do not benefit as much from the power structures in our society. Instead of feeling per…
Take for example a comment from this very thread: "Feminism has brought about a lot of changes, but I don't think we can lay this one at the feet of women trying to escape their compulsory reliance on unreliable, selfish, and inconsiderate men." How should we take a step back and listen more carefully to this? How are we to interpret that other than as an attack on all men?
Are you an unreliable, selfish, and inconsiderate man? If the answer is yes, then it's an attack on you ... if however you work to be reliable, selfless, and considerate, then it's not an attack on you.
Surely, you have to acknowledge that throughout history, men have been quite terrible to women ... and yes, some of that exists still today. So that being the case, you _must_ understand that for many women out there, it's still a struggle to live their life in a way that is not negatively influenced by some men.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#147I look at so many of my single friends who are achingly lonely (late 30s to early 40s) and they all have a particular trait in common: they obsess about the possibilities the future may hold yet don’t acknowledge the hard work it would take to get there. There’s also a sort of collective delusion that if you wait around long enough, your dream partner will show up and that if a relationship takes any work at all that…
If these people are actually your friends, maybe you should show them more respect and stop assuming that the reason they are single is that they are less mature than you and chose to “chase hedonism” and “Instagram followers” over long term relationships. Despite what you might believe, it isn't easy for every person to find a long term partner, and not everyone wants to do it at the same point in their lives.
I’m not assuming anything, they’re friends I’ve know for many years and I’ve been there with them as they’ve made these choices. I’d like for them to be happy but there’s only so much you can do.
I think the problem I’m describing is pretty common amongst gen x and millennials.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#148I’ve been feeling a pretty intense sort of depression and loneliness for the last month or so. The feelings of “you’re a white male and you work in tech and you are wealthy you are a SATAN” is just becoming too much :(. I volunteer a tremendous amount in education, where I’m the only male I generally even see in my field, and I constantly have to listen to my coworkers gleefully talk about how excited they are at how…
Just a piece of advice: try to take a step back and listen more carefully to the complaints you're hearing. When people talk about dismantling the patriarchy, or about racial privilege, they are not actually talking about any one particular person. You are fully able to be white, male, privileged, and still be an ally to those who do not benefit as much from the power structures in our society. Instead of feeling per…
I mean, you're not even wrong as far as that goes, but you might just be missing the point. "Racial privilege" is the latest variation on "bourgeois privilege", and we all know how toxic that idea was. Maybe he doesn't want to play on the Maoist team, or be its "ally". That's okay too. No one should be forced to deal with that kind of toxic, negative messaging.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#149Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think having kids is scientifically proven to make you unhappy and greatly increase your stress levels. It’s no wonder people just put off having kids until they can, or pass on having them altogether.
That's a pretty general, sweeping claim to make without a source.
Current data suggests that net unhappiness is associated with raising children, but it's because of the cost of raising children and not the children themselves. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/02/cost-rais...
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#150I have been lucky enough to be able to work and live in several countries around the world. One thing in common I noticed in all these places is that guys and girls don't have time and don't want to commit to a stable long relation. They invest pretty much themselves and their time in their career, traveling , parties, dogs, cats and bitcoins :) ! The mantra is to get rich and retire at 40 years old! Travel the world…
It's easier to sell to lonely individuals than a satisfied family. Hence all the crazy pressure to work more and be less... human.