> Even for HN, these are some of the most empathy-deficient comments that I've ever read.
That seems badly exaggerated, unless I'm missing some horrible comments. As for "Even for HN": this is the kind of putdown of the community that I feel compelled to respond to, since no one else will. Yes, people post unpleasant things to Hacker News, often without realizing it. But the overwhelming majority of users here are far from empathy-deficient, and relative to the rest of the public internet, particularly not. You might be running afoul of the paradox of HN being a non-siloed community, which I wrote about here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19931510.
Putting down or dissing the community that you're participating in is actually a subtle form of vandalism: why should we bother taking care of it if it sucks so much anyhow? It's also a way of keeping one's distance from others: I'm not really part of this icky group—I'm here, but I'm better. Actually anyone here is as much a part of it as anyone else, and while many things happen that make one cringe, so do many things that bring out good in people. We should focus on the latter, because what we focus on grows, and the community's image of itself is pretty shaky. On HN, we also value social cohesion, and that involves bridging a great many wide divides. Only so much of that is possible, but it's precious and deserves taking care of.
Edit: sorry if it feels like I'm picking on you personally. That's not my intent at all. Your comment was otherwise excellent and the information you shared made this thread much better. I'm sorry to distract from that by responding to the least relevant bit. I hate doing that actually. But it's sort of a death by a thousand cuts thing, so we have to respond somewhere.