I have been in 3 different companies in the UK as a developer, and I feel the opposite, men are more keen to help female developers, and are nicer and more patient. Sometimes it even feels kinda pervert.
Men, commit to mentor women
101–110 of 141 posts
Re: Men, commit to mentor women
#102Earlier quoted context omitted.
> my confused reply, which I didn't mean to say it loud but being exhausted it slipped part my filter and I mumbled it out loud, was cited as sexual harassment Whatever he said, he immediately apologized for it, and still to this day blames fatigue and confusion and says he didn't mean to say it out loud. So no, it is completely unreasonable to infer anything other than an inappropriate comment. There is not a real w…
"apologized either way." You have( maybe or maybe not purposefully) left out "either way" which means it need not be inappropriate by intention. Even then sadly, an apology is not enough for some weird concocted subjective self victimization and the eyes of OP's woman start putting off fire until the life of the OP gets totally ruined. "brought up her ass to me", "She shook her ass at me despite us having no real rel…
I understand where you're coming from, but still, please don't blame women at large for manipulative/narcissistic/sociopathic behavior that a minority in both genders, without distinction, might engage in. This stuff is just as bad no matter if it's coming from women or from "male sexist pigs".
Re: Men, commit to mentor women
#103> Senior-level men are now far more hesitant to spend time with junior women than junior men across a range of basic work activities.3 They are: > 12x more likely to hesitate to have 1-on-1 meetings > 9x more likely to hesitate to travel together for work > 6x more likely to hesitate to have work dinners. I think a contributing factor is that harassment can ultimately be a he-said/she-said kind of deal. You hear horr…
Hence the policy of the US Vice President Mike Pence to never have a 1-on-1 meeting with any woman except his wife.
I don't think Pence does this merely because he's afraid of being falsely accused. I think he does it also because he's seen too many people in his position give in to temptation, and he knows that he is not immune. So he's taking proactive steps to keep himself from being in a position to give in to temptation.
Re: Men, commit to mentor women
#104> Senior-level men are now far more hesitant to spend time with junior women than junior men across a range of basic work activities.3 They are: > 12x more likely to hesitate to have 1-on-1 meetings > 9x more likely to hesitate to travel together for work > 6x more likely to hesitate to have work dinners. I think a contributing factor is that harassment can ultimately be a he-said/she-said kind of deal. You hear horr…
I think the real problem these days is more of a "she-said/its over for him" regardless of actual facts. So it is hard to blame someone to now be in "cover-your-arse-mode". And yes, this climate is the fault of the edge cases of both genders, equally the creeps who overstep boundaries and and the liars who smear innocent people for personal gain.
Re: Men, commit to mentor women
#105> Senior-level men are now far more hesitant to spend time with junior women than junior men across a range of basic work activities.3 They are: > 12x more likely to hesitate to have 1-on-1 meetings > 9x more likely to hesitate to travel together for work > 6x more likely to hesitate to have work dinners. I think a contributing factor is that harassment can ultimately be a he-said/she-said kind of deal. You hear horr…
> You hear horror stories about men being falsely accused and getting their lives ruined (though I don't know how big that number is, but it's something to get mad about so it gets a lot of attention)
I wish there was more of an effort made to measure that. It would really help with these types of conversations
Re: Men, commit to mentor women
#106Earlier quoted context omitted.
I suspect that view depends on your gender. I didn't mean that as a facetious comment. As (hopefully) a non-creepy male I was blissfully unaware of the prevalence. I didn't do it, see it, hear it - and therefore it didn't happen. Therefore nothing to worry about. Now I know it happens far more frequently that I'd thought, I worry about it. Plus, unlike a lot of other workplace issues, it's.. well currently awkward (f…
OK - more facetious than I thought. Sorry. Maybe more realistic scenario is just when working away asking "Can you come to my room so we can spend 30 mins updating the deck for tomorrow?" Think I'd have been fine asking that previously - and now maybe less so. We can try to lurk in a corner of the lobby, which is annoying loud and doesn't have a desk. But that change involves the thought of "maybe I'm considered to b…
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Re: Men, commit to mentor women
#107Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why is "the decline in sex for young men" even relevant here? Most people who argue that "some men truly don’t know how to conduct themselves appropriately" would say that 'behaving appropriately' means that professional interactions among strangers should not be unduly sexualized. So why even bring up sex at all, it seems like a red herring here.
I think they are saying that those categories of men overlap closely. The men that do not know how to interact with women in the workforce are closely overlapped with the men who cannot 'get past 3rd base'. I'm unsure how the modern world is affecting both areas simultaneously though. Perhaps cis-hetero women are just not putting up with things that they used too put up with.
> The men that do not know how to interact with women in the workforce are closely overlapped with the men who cannot 'get past 3rd base'.
Given that the major examples are Harvey Weinstein & Co, I believe that would be comically wrong.
Re: Men, commit to mentor women
#108I'd like to think I would be equally willing to assist people independent of gender, but there are absolutely some formats of activity where I'd be very reluctant to participate with a female, particularly a younger/whatever female. "Meet up for drinks after the conference one on one" is one of those -- I'd do it with a guy, or with someone I knew well, but wouldn't with a random woman in a lot of cases, both because I wouldn't want her to feel potentially uncomfortable, and because I wouldn't want the potential liability. Also I'd be willing to let a guy friend/colleague/etc. use my hotel room to store stuff/use the bathroom/whatever during a conference, but unless it's a peer-level colleague that I know well, would not do this with a woman.
I'd try to compensate by changing the format (adding a third or more person, or meeting at a different time or location), but I wouldn't be surprised if there's a marginal case where it would disadvantage the woman. However, there's no stranger or non-close-friend for whom I'd be willing to accept the liability here.
Re: Men, commit to mentor women
#109Earlier quoted context omitted.
Hence the policy of the US Vice President Mike Pence to never have a 1-on-1 meeting with any woman except his wife.
I don't think Pence does this merely because he's afraid of being falsely accused. I think he does it also because he's seen too many people in his position give in to temptation, and he knows that he is not immune . So he's taking proactive steps to keep himself from being in a position to give in to temptation.
I think it's also a lot worse in politics, in that you might reasonably have someone try to entrap you purely for political reasons. There are "politics" in commercial and academic settings too, but not usually played at the same level. If I were Pence I wouldn't want to have 1 on 1 meetings with men, either.
Re: Men, commit to mentor women
#110Only in America. Women is very dangerous, be aware. On serious note, somebody should do a startup which trains men to work with women. Apparently opportunity is huge. Should be the first slide. 60% of all men...
What about a supervisor body cam startup? There are a small number of bad individuals which the system would allow you to identify while protecting the innocent ones from false accusations.