51–60 of 172 posts
My advice is to find some way to serve a local community. (I'm just finishing up coaching a youth soccer team.) Nothing makes you feel better than helping others.
Good luck!
Personally have been going through this myself, and recently. Some things which make me feel better: * Finding my own independence to do things. I often tied my own activities to that of my partner. So many times I felt like I was WAITING for things, when I didn't need to be. * Find your own hobbies which are outside of work related things. I am interested in kite surfing for example. I've never done it, but I've beg…
> There is something about tackling things you DON'T want to do, and getting satisfaction from having accomplished doing it. It's even better than that with regards to exercise. I've been forced to ski by my girlfriend. I've hated it for the first 5 days, I was terrified for my life, literally. I wrote a 10 page document on how not to die since my braking and turning weren't really reliable. Yet, every evening, despi…
I managed to give myself quite a scare in the Scottish mountains on Saturday - have felt distinctly more focused and calmer since then. I wonder if getting an occasional scare might not actually be a good thing....
One thing no one else has mentioned: age. You can gain different benefits with age, whether it's finding what's important, sources of confidence, or ways to avoid situations where you're uncomfortable. Using time to find ways to connect with different people is important for what may be the most healthy pathways. Taking a strategic approach with this in mind can help too. I don't like the morbid sounding "this too shall pass," so "it gets better" is a nice mantra for this.
Personally have been going through this myself, and recently. Some things which make me feel better: * Finding my own independence to do things. I often tied my own activities to that of my partner. So many times I felt like I was WAITING for things, when I didn't need to be. * Find your own hobbies which are outside of work related things. I am interested in kite surfing for example. I've never done it, but I've beg…
> There is something about tackling things you DON'T want to do, and getting satisfaction from having accomplished doing it. It's even better than that with regards to exercise. I've been forced to ski by my girlfriend. I've hated it for the first 5 days, I was terrified for my life, literally. I wrote a 10 page document on how not to die since my braking and turning weren't really reliable. Yet, every evening, despi…
It's not only the benefit of physical exercise which often makes riding a bike more enjoyable.
Many people talk about exercise. For me, it creates a lot of overhead. Five hours a week of exercise is many times more time in terms of thoughts and activities. Looking at it from a distance, it's more about distraction. While the exercise may help in terms of basic physiological levels, lifestyle, etc, I think that's the key factor. One thing no one else has mentioned: age. You can gain different benefits with age,…
Yes. I was going to recommend finding peers who give good feedback and befriending them. Then you can get a more impartial take on something if you are unsure about it.
And, similarly, find some people with less experience and skill and help them. Maybe coach a robotics competition for teens if you are especially junior. Write for and mentor junior professionals as you gain seniority. Helping people is rewarding in its own right, but it also provides some grounding about what skill level everyone else is at.
I dealt with many of these same situations by thinking it through. Often when I am in a new, challenging situation, I ask myself this: is there anyone dumber than I am who is succeeding in this situation? The answer is invariably yes. That means that I can deal with it through sheer force of will and hard work. It helps knowing that. For example, you say you are a good coder. That’s wonderful. It is something you can…