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This is like asking your GP advice on software security and getting "install the antivirus thing"
Self-esteem and confidence are very complex aspects of psychology. Ask a professional.
So while low self esteem is annoying to experience, it is important to understand that it has a function. You are not experiencing it due to chance, it is serving a purpose. You have to remove the need for it to exist and it will go.
Typically, the function of low self esteem is to protect you from the brain's idea of conflict - this was the case with me. It is important to note that the brain's idea of conflict does not fit with the the standard definition - while it includes obvious examples of conflict (e.g., getting angry with a friend who has done something out of order) it also includes situations which are more subtle. For the brain, conflict is breaking the expectations of others (or rather, your own idea of their expectations) - for example, let's say you've been learning the guitar and haven't ever played anything in front of your friends, breaking the flow of conversation with "guys, I've been learning guitar and I want to play you a song I've been working on" is a 'conflict' in the eyes of your brain; even though you aren't doing anything negative, you are disrupting everyone's expectations of that moment. Your brain knows it would be "safer" (less disruptive) for you if you didn't pause the conversation to play guitar. From here on I'll refer to 'the brain's idea of conflict' simply as 'conflict'.
Feeling low self esteem helps you avoid conflict. Let's look at how:
1) Conflict exists in relationships. Low self esteem makes relationships difficult and makes you feel insecure in them. This means they are harder to construct, harder to maintain and as the one's you have feel insecure, if a conflict were to emerge in them you would take the submissive path. "You don't DESERVE to have this relationship, so of course you should shut up and agree!"
2) Conflict exists when expectations are broken. Low self esteem means you don't want to try (and definitely don't want to share) your creative endeavours. Unless you are painting by numbers, creation is pretty much always disruptive - it adds something new and potentially uncomfortable to the world. Your brain knows this, so to keep you safe from conflict it would rather you feel shit about yourself and hide your creativity, than feel good, create and risk disruption.
So, how to break the cycle? You need to remove the fear of upsetting others - and this means practicing it. It means catching yourself avoiding this and making yourself do it again and again. Even if the experience does not go well your confidence will grow. The need to avoid conflict is learnt in infancy, where you really are dependent on other people loving you to survive - so your brain just needs to know that you will survive conflict, rather than it ending up with everyone too happy on the other side.
Broadly speaking, all anxieties are functional in this protective way, and all are resolvable through focused action. Though it was a bit unusual, during therapy developing a new way to interpret dreams which enabled me to know where to focus my action meant my progress improved rapidly. I wrote a paper on it which is available here: https://psyarxiv.com/k6trz
Happy conflicting :)
Personally have been going through this myself, and recently. Some things which make me feel better: * Finding my own independence to do things. I often tied my own activities to that of my partner. So many times I felt like I was WAITING for things, when I didn't need to be. * Find your own hobbies which are outside of work related things. I am interested in kite surfing for example. I've never done it, but I've beg…
It's even better than that with regards to exercise. I've been forced to ski by my girlfriend. I've hated it for the first 5 days, I was terrified for my life, literally. I wrote a 10 page document on how not to die since my braking and turning weren't really reliable.
Yet, every evening, despite having some muscle fatigue. I felt more in touch with my body than ever. I was more flexible, more alert and quicker in my body movements. This made me feel happier.
I've also noticed the same thing with cycling vs. going with the metro to work (I'm in Amsterdam, no excuse to not cycle). I never think about cycling in terms of fun or not fun. But I noticed a marked difference in my mood while I arrived at work if I'd be going with the metro.
There's also neurological evidence for this: exercise makes us feel better.
So I want to extend your claim to: if you exercise in a reasonable fashion, you are biologically bound to feel better afterwards. It doesn't matter how you felt about it before or what your opinions of the exercise are.
One tip to get a bit easier into it: always do a warmup with an exercise that you don't hate. For me that'd be running.
Personally have been going through this myself, and recently. Some things which make me feel better: * Finding my own independence to do things. I often tied my own activities to that of my partner. So many times I felt like I was WAITING for things, when I didn't need to be. * Find your own hobbies which are outside of work related things. I am interested in kite surfing for example. I've never done it, but I've beg…
It's a hard way and I've been struggling with this, too. I had depressions and a burn out and felt like I wasn't worth anything. Took me quite some time to realize that I'm really good at some things and that people value me for that. Those things are not always work-related, but we often define our value or our self esteem by success at work. I'm sure you're really good at something, too and people value you for tha…
Many people struggle with it. I imagine your director has struggled with it in his lifetime. I mention these things to point out that you are not alone in this.
For me, I fake it. I've practiced pretending people like to meet me and talk with me, and that they consider me a good friend and valuable colleague. This kind of pretense helps me see beyond my own fears. It helps me see myself reflected in their eyes: that they see me as plenty good enough.
You are plenty good enough too. Seriously. Try to look at yourself reflected in others' eyes so you can see that.
Good luck and strength with your struggle. It gets better!
Second method: Invest effort into yourself.
But the "effort" has to be something that actually takes work, courage or frustration, and it must not be something immediately gratifying or distracting. The reasoning is that in experimental behavioral economy, the worth of something is determined by how much energy a subject or animal will exert to get it. You are the animal, the "something" is "your self worth" and then you have to find a way to expend energy towards your self. Your subconscious will over time learn from these examples that you value yourself.