Why is this story still on the front page?
How long were Noirin Shirley's false allegations on the front page? Once the white knights finish their posturing, it will disappear (until next time).
It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
31–40 of 104 posts
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#32Why is this story still on the front page?
How long were Noirin Shirley's false allegations on the front page? Once the white knights finish their posturing, it will disappear (until next time).
Good point. I think Michael Arrington redacted the relevant TechCrunch post, didn't he? My respect for Arrington picked up a lot that day.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#33So after examining her site a little more closely, I'm not sure what she actually does? I see vague hand waving towards a facility for schmoozing in some fashion and copious hand waving toward her having very little idea what's going on in her field with a healthy dash of self deprecation thrown in. If all you do is schmooze then is it really so strange that someone might mistake your intent as unrelated to acting as…
As far as I can tell she does social media.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#34I'm surprised at the arrogance and even offensiveness of several of the comments posted here. (I'm also reminded of the currently trending article about sexual harassment and assault at OSS conventions.) The author's issue not with men hitting on her, as she clearly explains. Her issue is with men obtaining her contact information ostensibly to do business and then using that contact information to hit on her. Really…
I think there are two different realities that fit the evidence we've been presented with equally well. One is unacceptable -- and she's well within her rights to complain; the other is acceptable -- and she's making too much of the issue. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that the following is the case: The men "hitting on" her are perfectly polite and interested in her professionally, but also want to see i…
No, I think that sounds unpleasant. Just imagine some guy you met once phoning you about business and then asking you for a date. Still think mixing business and pleasure is okay?
It's also obviously totally unprofessional of the person. I mean, what are they going to say to their boss?
I met the smart freelancer we're looking for,
but then I asked her for a date and now she isn't
returning my calls. Sorry boss.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#35Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think there are two different realities that fit the evidence we've been presented with equally well. One is unacceptable -- and she's well within her rights to complain; the other is acceptable -- and she's making too much of the issue. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that the following is the case: The men "hitting on" her are perfectly polite and interested in her professionally, but also want to see i…
No, I think that sounds unpleasant. Just imagine some guy you met once phoning you about business and then asking you for a date. Still think mixing business and pleasure is okay? It's also obviously totally unprofessional of the person. I mean, what are they going to say to their boss? I met the smart freelancer we're looking for, but then I asked her for a date and now she isn't returning my calls. Sorry boss. It's…
I don't know about the business aspect, because I'm not a businessman, but if I met someone through the "business" of one of the volunteer organisations I work for, then I think it's perfectly OK for them to contact me, or me to contact them, and ask for a date.
If I wasn't interested I'd say "no thanks" and expect them to get on with life and not harass me. Granted, this may not accurately describe the situation in the article, but in that case the author has not made her point well.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#36It's not clear to me if she's
a) complaining for the sake of it, b) looking for advice on how to handle this, or c) offering advice to guys on what not to do.
Point c is probably really good advice to a lot of people, but she's muddled it so much with points a and b that it's not going to help anyone.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#37So after examining her site a little more closely, I'm not sure what she actually does? I see vague hand waving towards a facility for schmoozing in some fashion and copious hand waving toward her having very little idea what's going on in her field with a healthy dash of self deprecation thrown in. If all you do is schmooze then is it really so strange that someone might mistake your intent as unrelated to acting as…
As far as I can tell she does social media.
This is not a sarcastic question but what does that actually mean? Anyone? I'm genuinely curious.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#38Wow that youtube video she included was the most annoying thing I've seen all week. I lasted 30s. And yes, she does sound self-involved, as she speculates at the end of the post. Of course she gets to have her rant (why ask?) but I have to wonder why... it doesn't come off very well.
Well she's got eight, count em, EIGHT pictures of herself and her shiny red lips at the top of the page. So yeah, self-involved? Could be.
True. That's a flirty rather than a professional image by US standards. That said, it can take some time to adjust when you move here from the UK (or is it Australia/NZ? Didn't check). I found California quite strange for the first year. Also, Americans like foreign accents a lot. I get flirty remarks about mine all the time despite being here for years and a wedding ring.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#39Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#40Two things: 1. You're a woman, and men will hit on you, and that's not a bad thing; it's biology. 2. If you think SF men are aggressive, then obviously you haven't been out much. I don't think I've been anywhere in the world that's LESS aggressive than SF when it comes to dating/mating. Go to Brazil and see what aggressiveness is.
#2 doesn't make it right. Does a woman not have the right not to face that? If you've got a girl, don't you feel personally that she shouldn't have to face that? At what point are aggressive come-ons just harassment?
From my perspective? No, she really doesn't have the right not to face that. She's a woman. It's biology. Part of being a human being is interacting with other human beings, many of home would like to sleep with you.
She should have to deal with harrasment? Nope, but that's a different thing entirely. Somebody scoping out your card and then asking you out on a date isn't harassing you. They're asking you on a date. It's what happens after you say 'no' that things become different.