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I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

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Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#111

Post by aidenn0 »

coldtea wrote: post #20

> When I saw the pictures that she had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed. Well, that's because you're 13, the age when kids turn blase and embarrassed about being kids, and of the childish things they used to like. It's not like her mother did anything specially wrong, e.g. posting the letter to the tooth fairy, and so on. It's only embarrassing to her because she's 1…

If when I was 13, I discovered that my parents had erected billboards within sight of all of my fellow students with pictures and text describing all of the childish things I had done in the previous 12 years, I would have been mortified.

This is essentially what posting things to a public facebook profile is, and while I find it understandable that parents would do it without thinking, I find it horrifying that someone would defend it as "not wrong" with the benefit of hindsight.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#112

Post by [deleted] »

chengiz wrote: post #103

A 14 year old who is embarrassed by what their parents posted == a 14 year old who is embarrassed by what their parents did == a 14 year old. When this girl grows up, she'll understand she was being immature and there's nothing embarrassing about your parents posting moments about you that made them proud. Her parents seem awesome that they're respecting her wishes now. As I write this, I'm reminded of a Louis CK bit…

[deleted]

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#113

Post by balfirevic »

Jaruzel wrote: post #105
ianlevesque wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I had a good laugh first, then I felt sad for her It's an issue of consent. She's voluntarily sharing specific selected photos & videos with her social peers, a hacked baby monitor would be a violation. The glib dismissal here helps nobody.

> It's an issue of consent. Her baby hasn't given consent. Believe you me, there's loads of 'Invasion of Privacy' lawsuits from kids to their parents coming down the pipe over the next decade.

That's true, but it is a separate (and valid) issue.

The distinction between sharing specific photos and hacked baby monitor, as pointed out by ianlevesque, is still important and it's wrong to casually dismiss it.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#114

Post by virusduck »

OatsAndHoney wrote: post #80
jpfed wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you pull out a couple of times a year to show a select group of others. My perhaps unreasonable hope for a Facebook killer is just a paid personal archive of your own photos, writings, etc. with the assumption of privacy by default.

Have you tried iCloud / iPhone? That's what I switched over to once I quit Facebook and Android. The iPhone is great, it's private by default, I can share photos / albums only with the people that I want, and I create different groups based off of different interests, trips, etc. All together with iMessage and Notes I get pretty much everything I had with a newsfeed / blog, all without the implications of Facebook an…

Same here. At first it seems a little clunky, but then I realized that was actually a feature.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#115

Post by beering »

jerf wrote: post #23
franciscojgo wrote: post #4

I'm more surprised by the story telling and narrative of the 14 year old author! Impressed. Pretty sure the only thing I was worrying about when 14 was how to get past the min. word count and not use "however" so much.

It's edited, of course. Since this is the 21st century and everyone's on a hair trigger for reasons to be offended, everyone in magazines like that is edited, so there's nothing particular about this author getting edited. Magazines have editors for a reason. Nobody produces the best prose on their own without any editing. The only thing in the article that really struck me as strained was the "We are also the next g…

> really struck me as strained was the "We are also the next generation of engineers and innovators," bit.

People have been saying this to kids non-stop, so it's not a stretch to think that they would parrot it as well. I think both explanations are plausible.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#116

Post by finaliteration »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #39

I cannot imagine posting so much about a child of mine without them being aware of it at all. I talk a lot about my sons. They know. If I feel it is a story with sensitive information, I run it past them to see if they are okay with me saying that. I can't really comprehend the thinking here of the family members who did this. They talk about her but not to her? That's the opposite of "social" behavior. That's treati…

Yeah, this is a little weird. I have a 5-year-old and she knows we post pictures and videos of her on Facebook and Instagram for her family to see. Heck, she even asks us to take a video of her when she’s doing something silly or ridiculous. Not once have we ever lied to her about posting or hid it from her.

Then again, I think I’m a more permissive parent than most and I don’t really shelter her from anything.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#117

Post by [deleted] »

aglavine wrote: post #65
DoreenMichele wrote: post #39

I cannot imagine posting so much about a child of mine without them being aware of it at all. I talk a lot about my sons. They know. If I feel it is a story with sensitive information, I run it past them to see if they are okay with me saying that. I can't really comprehend the thinking here of the family members who did this. They talk about her but not to her? That's the opposite of "social" behavior. That's treati…

This. She've never seen his mom's Facebook profile in 14 years? It seems fake.

[deleted]

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#118

Post by kyboren »

mrunkel wrote: post #83

This seems to me (albeit as a probably completely unqualified person to have a real viewpoint here, as a 50ish male without children) to be much ado about nothing. Somehow, perhaps because of the pervasiveness of social media, the sense of self has expanded quite a great deal. In a family, and later in public life, we don't have the right to control how we are perceived in the public. (I know some countries in the EU…

> Just as the daughter has the right to not share herself or her life on social media, I don't believe she has the right to demand approval of her mother's or sister's posts.

A legal right? Absolutely not. A moral right? Absolutely.

Knowingly disclosing information about someone that that person has expressly confirmed they would like to remain private is certainly not a friendly act. When the parties involved are in a close relationship, this can feel like (and in my view is) a serious betrayal. Such a betrayal can permanently damage that relationship.

The daughter's feelings in this situation are entirely valid, and she is entirely within her moral rights to demand her mother not violate her privacy.

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