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I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

fastcompany.com

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Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#91

Post by rhn_mk1 »

Reedx wrote: post #84
gringoDan wrote: post #15

I sympathize with this perspective. I too would be livid and mortified if my family shared embarrassing photos of me in exchange for the quick dopamine hit that validation from acquaintances provides. I'm hopeful that in the next several years there is a pushback against social media and the idea that for an experience to be valid, it must be shared. There's something to be said for having an album of photos that you…

It's interesting how that changed within one generation in many cases. Millennials started using the Internet when conventional wisdom was to not use your real name online. Don't reveal your age or location. Don't post your photo. Use an anonymous name. We went from that to the complete opposite.

The internet from 10 years ago was also less likely to remember everything you do forever. Messaging between friends happened using services that didn't save conversation history server side, public chat rooms including IRC were rarely logged, blog posts had a minimal reach, and were largely pseudonymous anyway, making the connection with a real person more difficult. Perhaps this kind of lack of consequences drove people into complacency.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#92

Post by philpem »

ravenstine wrote: post #72
beamatronic wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To your point about strangers: There are two basic ways to use social media: public to the world and friends only. I feel like the first is a non starter, do you feel the same about the second use-case?

Not necessarily. It'd be one thing if these "friends" were people the child might actually know in real life, and whom have a meaningful relationship to the parents. The problem starts for me with the fact that most of the "friends" people have on sites like Facebook are not actual friends, but acquaintances they might not have seen or talked to again for years. Most of the my "friends" on Facebook have hundreds of "…

This redefinition of "friend" is one of my big pet peeves of social media -- not one specific site, but in general.

It feels like it massively cheapens actual friendships.

"Followers" isn't much better. Different word, similar implications.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#93

Post by caprese »

franciscojgo wrote: post #4

I'm more surprised by the story telling and narrative of the 14 year old author! Impressed. Pretty sure the only thing I was worrying about when 14 was how to get past the min. word count and not use "however" so much.

> I'm more surprised by the story telling and narrative of the 14 year old author!

ITT: Everyone forgets about the blogging sites that were popular when they were 13 and 14.

2002 had lots of articulate 14 year olds, what happened with your experience?

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#94

Post by Angostura »

MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

Similarly, my daughters are now 15 and 13, we never put any photos of them on social media, we used private DropBox or iCloud albums to share stuff with family.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#95

Post by caprese »

gabbygab wrote: post #42

She quits social media and writes a public article in traditional media so that people can talk even more about her? Is this her idea or the idea of her mother who probably is friends with someone working at fastcompany? I'd be interested to find out how a "random" 8th grader got to write an article for fastcompany and if she or her family has any ties with anyone at fastcompany or even Mehta, the editor. Also, could…

Informed consent and revokable consent are not novel concepts. The ability to prove consent is novel.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#96

Post by rhn_mk1 »

MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

I would make a broader argument: don't post things about people without their permission. The friend you're quoting for saying something interesting didn't necessarily want to make a public statement. The random person caught in your picture might not want to share their location with Facebook.

I'm glad that you are thinking starting from your daughter, and I hope that the pattern continues.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#97

Post by anticensor »

sagebird wrote: post #70
sagebird wrote: post #63

While I think this 14 year old and story is authentic, I think this will be misused as a motivational story to fuel Zuckerberg's new white-knighting of privacy concerns. It's really important that Facebook be held to account for their negative influence, and not be allowed to distract with lofty future promises, and co-opt innocent peoples stories for cheap publicity.

For example, it would be trivial to default content be shared to friends only. If Zuck gave a true shit about privacy, that change could happen instantly, and years ago.

It was the initial default before VCs have came in.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#98

Post by foxhop »

micael_dias wrote: post #73
foxhop wrote: post #62

Do we think this is maybe more of a mom trait than a dad trait? I know I have posted maybe a couple images of my children (2, 7, and 11) over the last 11 years. My wife on the other hand posts at least twice a day with images and quotes. I wonder if woman sort of use Facebook as a sort of "shared" baby book for their little cubs?

Twice a day? Don't want to be offensive but that seems very excessive. Even for people I know on Facebook that post regularly their kids' photos I think the maximum I see is once a week. I'm not from the US and don't follow that many people so that might be why.

I think its also excessive, which is why I don't do this. I suppose people talk about what they are focusing on, and my wife focuses on her children.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#99

Post by LeonM »

caprese wrote: post #88
LeonM wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I applaud you. My sister had a baby last year, and she's been posting and sharing photos and videos non-stop. Recently she asked me if I knew if hackers could break into baby monitor because she was worried some hacker may spy on her sleeping baby... I had a good laugh first, then I felt sad for her.

> Recently she asked me if I knew if hackers could break into baby monitor because she was worried some hacker may spy on her sleeping baby... I had a good laugh first, then I felt sad for her. and what did you tell her? "Baby" gadgets and toys are the most vulnerable. I liked the story where a teddy bear that allowed parents to leave messages was hosting recordings and replies on a public fileserver. You have to get…

I have a background in both embedded systems engineering and pentesting. I definitely know about the weak security (or complete lack thereof) of those devices. But it's hard for non-technical people to believe that, especially if the salesman told them this camera was the 'best of the best'.

So, of course I helped them to setup the IP camera in such way that they could use it securely. (VPN, strong encryption on their WiFi, etc)

And of course I also explained them that they should be careful with whom they share the photos.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#100

Post by LeonM »

ck425 wrote: post #86
LeonM wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I applaud you. My sister had a baby last year, and she's been posting and sharing photos and videos non-stop. Recently she asked me if I knew if hackers could break into baby monitor because she was worried some hacker may spy on her sleeping baby... I had a good laugh first, then I felt sad for her.

Hopefully you also discussed the ramifications of her sharing with her too.

I did, no worries.
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