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I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

fastcompany.com

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Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#61

Post by LeonM »

MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

I applaud you.

My sister had a baby last year, and she's been posting and sharing photos and videos non-stop.

Recently she asked me if I knew if hackers could break into baby monitor because she was worried some hacker may spy on her sleeping baby... I had a good laugh first, then I felt sad for her.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#62

Post by foxhop »

Do we think this is maybe more of a mom trait than a dad trait? I know I have posted maybe a couple images of my children (2, 7, and 11) over the last 11 years. My wife on the other hand posts at least twice a day with images and quotes. I wonder if woman sort of use Facebook as a sort of "shared" baby book for their little cubs?

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#63

Post by sagebird »

While I think this 14 year old and story is authentic, I think this will be misused as a motivational story to fuel Zuckerberg's new white-knighting of privacy concerns. It's really important that Facebook be held to account for their negative influence, and not be allowed to distract with lofty future promises, and co-opt innocent peoples stories for cheap publicity.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#64

Post by theon144 »

coldtea wrote: post #20

> When I saw the pictures that she had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed. Well, that's because you're 13, the age when kids turn blase and embarrassed about being kids, and of the childish things they used to like. It's not like her mother did anything specially wrong, e.g. posting the letter to the tooth fairy, and so on. It's only embarrassing to her because she's 1…

Okay, so first, I completely disagree with your conclusion; there's absolutely things from my childhood that I wouldn't want on the internet even today as a grown adult. Not because I imagine they're uniquely embarrassing and would somehow damage my "current persona", but simply because they're a part of my childhood and my person, and it would be an encroachment of my privacy if they were publicly available. It's one thing to show your relatives and neighbors pictures of your children and their drawings; it's another for them to be irreversibly published on the most public platform in existence.

Second, which I'd argue is in fact more important, do you realize how damaging it can be at age 14 to experience this sort of betrayal of trust and elimination of privacy? It's as if the bully in your class got to read your diary aloud - times 100x. The content doesn't really matter, the transgression of boundaries does. And of course you might laugh about it once you gain the distance from your past self and its worries and pains, but it doesn't make the event any less exposing and possibly traumatizing. Adolescence is a brittle time in the development of a personality, and the kind of experiences one has aren't any less impactful because they're "just kids".

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#65

Post by aglavine »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #39

I cannot imagine posting so much about a child of mine without them being aware of it at all. I talk a lot about my sons. They know. If I feel it is a story with sensitive information, I run it past them to see if they are okay with me saying that. I can't really comprehend the thinking here of the family members who did this. They talk about her but not to her? That's the opposite of "social" behavior. That's treati…

This. She've never seen his mom's Facebook profile in 14 years? It seems fake.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#66

Post by ajacksified »

MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

I never thought about it until yesterday, when my daughter asked that we take a "selfie" together; I thought it was a great picture and put it on Instagram. Later she wanted to browse through my pictures and asked me, shocked: "You put that on Instagram?!"

I had never really considered it to be an issue (I have a private account, pictures only get shared with friends family), but thinking more on it- she really should be asked to consent to share it, even if my account is locked down. I've been telling her (for as long as it's relevant) that anything on the internet stays there forever, and we've had talks about privacy when they want to install some cheap knock-off F2P mobile game that wants access to your entire phone, but this is another aspect I need to consider.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#67

Post by cflewis »

1zee wrote: post #7
MattBearman wrote: post #6

My wife and I recently had our first child, and we decided we didn't want her to have any kind of social media presence until she was old enough to make that decision for herself. It's been a challenge ensuring friends and family don't post stuff about our daughter, but reading this reinforces that we're making the right choice.

What is "old enough"?

I have done the same thing as OP. The kid doesn't get photos put online outside Google Photos, and those are only shared with family members who know not to leak them.

For me, old enough is "when you can demonstrate meaningful understanding of the negatives of the platform". "I want to because my friends use it" isn't enough. "I want to but I'd only use [Snapchat-style ephemeral data] so people can't make fun of me with it" is much closer, as is "I want to because I want to talk to my friends but I wouldn't connect with people who aren't my friends".

So it's not a hard number, but my guess is that it's going to be about 13, like others have said.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#68

Post by rrauenza »

gabbygab wrote: post #42

She quits social media and writes a public article in traditional media so that people can talk even more about her? Is this her idea or the idea of her mother who probably is friends with someone working at fastcompany? I'd be interested to find out how a "random" 8th grader got to write an article for fastcompany and if she or her family has any ties with anyone at fastcompany or even Mehta, the editor. Also, could…

The difference is consent. She (presumably) gave permission for her essay to be published.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#69

Post by meruru »

sacado2 wrote: post #38
coldtea wrote: post #20

> When I saw the pictures that she had been posting on Facebook for years, I felt utterly embarrassed, and deeply betrayed. Well, that's because you're 13, the age when kids turn blase and embarrassed about being kids, and of the childish things they used to like. It's not like her mother did anything specially wrong, e.g. posting the letter to the tooth fairy, and so on. It's only embarrassing to her because she's 1…

In France, it is legally wrong, as you cannot share a pricture of somebody without consent. That will be interesting in a few years (very soon, actually), as some young adults are pissed off by the pictures of them their parents shared for cheap facebook karma.

>In France, it is legally wrong, as you cannot share a pricture of somebody without consent.

Wait, seriously? I need to move to France ASAP. I hate the fact I can't participate in any kind of event without assholes taking a ton of pictures and posting online.

Re: I’m 14, and I quit social media after discovering what was posted about me

#70

Post by sagebird »

sagebird wrote: post #63

While I think this 14 year old and story is authentic, I think this will be misused as a motivational story to fuel Zuckerberg's new white-knighting of privacy concerns. It's really important that Facebook be held to account for their negative influence, and not be allowed to distract with lofty future promises, and co-opt innocent peoples stories for cheap publicity.

For example, it would be trivial to default content be shared to friends only. If Zuck gave a true shit about privacy, that change could happen instantly, and years ago.
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