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Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

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Re: Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

#71

Post by Samon »

nlawalker wrote: post #64

A piece of simple, concrete, implementable advice I read recently that I really like is "communicate in the language of options , not demands, imperatives, requests, or preferences." Imagine yourself having a conversation with your manager or someone in a relatively similar position about a decision or suggestion you have. How often do you say things like "we have to", "we need to", "we really should", "can we", or "…

A former Tech leader where I work used to say "Never say you can't do something. Just provide options, cost and consequences. The business/management/client will make the decision for you."

Re: Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

#72

Post by bitL »

xkgt wrote: post #34
byoung2 wrote: post #4

An engineer focuses on the what, where, and how...a leader focuses on the who and why. For example you are considering adding a feature to your app. As an engineer you think of what you need to build how to implement it, where to store the data or put the logic. A manager focuses on why you should or shouldn't build it, who on the team does what part, how much it costs, etc. Imagine the transition from line cook to e…

I was an engineering manager until recently, didn't get much enjoyment out of my role since I had to focus more on whats and whys instead of hows which is what excites my engineering mind. Now I have changed job to an engineering role and having lots of fun building stuff and learning new things. However at times I wonder whether I made the right call, whether my career will stagnate if I am not interested in moving…

Do another online MS CS degree from a top school like Georgia Tech, UIUC, UAustin etc. and study everything you ever wanted to know. That should keep the technological fire inside you. As a bonus, you can do iMBA at UIUC in parallel and have both engineering and management covered.

Re: Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

#73

Post by kazinator »

warent wrote: post #53

Leadership is basically just people-engineering and business-engineering. Engineers use tools to build products, and so do leaders. The immediate assumption is that people are tools/resources to build the product. That's talking like an engineer. Don't use your team to work on a project/product. Use the project to work on your team. They're not there to build the product. They're there to gain some personal fulfillme…

In this case, the boss is telling OP to talk like a leader rather than engineer to him, not necessarily to the engineers below. To the engineers below, you still have to talk like an engineer to some extent, some of the time. That's the virtue/advantage of a manager that is from the engineering background.

Re: Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

#74

Post by borski »

warent wrote: post #53

Leadership is basically just people-engineering and business-engineering. Engineers use tools to build products, and so do leaders. The immediate assumption is that people are tools/resources to build the product. That's talking like an engineer. Don't use your team to work on a project/product. Use the project to work on your team. They're not there to build the product. They're there to gain some personal fulfillme…

People often say to me “it must be nice not to have a boss.” I explain to them that I have no idea what that’s like, since I have 12 or 13 bosses.

My job is to empower my reports to do their best work, using empathy and engineering the team as a well-oiled system. Sure, they report to me, but my job is to keep them productive.

Re: Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

#75

Post by borski »

Samon wrote: post #71
nlawalker wrote: post #64

A piece of simple, concrete, implementable advice I read recently that I really like is "communicate in the language of options , not demands, imperatives, requests, or preferences." Imagine yourself having a conversation with your manager or someone in a relatively similar position about a decision or suggestion you have. How often do you say things like "we have to", "we need to", "we really should", "can we", or "…

A former Tech leader where I work used to say "Never say you can't do something. Just provide options, cost and consequences. The business/management/client will make the decision for you."

This is super important. Having someone come to the conclusion you care to on their own will solidify it in their own heads as their idea, making it an obvious choice. I’ve even gone so far as to argue against it with a few surface arguments, to cement it in their minds.

Is that manipulative? Sometimes. But if it’s for the benefit of the team, you do what has to be done.

Re: Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

#77

Post by Aeolun »

byoung2 wrote: post #4

An engineer focuses on the what, where, and how...a leader focuses on the who and why. For example you are considering adding a feature to your app. As an engineer you think of what you need to build how to implement it, where to store the data or put the logic. A manager focuses on why you should or shouldn't build it, who on the team does what part, how much it costs, etc. Imagine the transition from line cook to e…

Even as an engineer I often focus on the ‘why?’, since answering that first prevents me from having to do anything else.

Re: Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

#78

Post by hbarka »

superconformist wrote: post #49
warent wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Jokes aside, some of this is just normal communication used in business and that's not a bad thing. The consistency is actually useful when communicating between businesses. Makes it easier to integrate and speak the same language so everyone stays on the same page.

Yes, I can tell you and I have synergy. B2B consistency is not just useful, it is impactful. Despite the win-win dialog we're having, maybe we should take it offline.

That was funny. I get your /s

Re: Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

#79

Post by Aeolun »

xkgt wrote: post #34
byoung2 wrote: post #4

An engineer focuses on the what, where, and how...a leader focuses on the who and why. For example you are considering adding a feature to your app. As an engineer you think of what you need to build how to implement it, where to store the data or put the logic. A manager focuses on why you should or shouldn't build it, who on the team does what part, how much it costs, etc. Imagine the transition from line cook to e…

I was an engineering manager until recently, didn't get much enjoyment out of my role since I had to focus more on whats and whys instead of hows which is what excites my engineering mind. Now I have changed job to an engineering role and having lots of fun building stuff and learning new things. However at times I wonder whether I made the right call, whether my career will stagnate if I am not interested in moving…

A way to keep yourself occupied? No. You’ll just be interrupted every 5 minutes.

But you can certainly do something small in between.

Re: Ask HN: How to speak like a leader, not like an engineer?

#80

Post by tuxxy »

warent wrote: post #43
chrisco255 wrote: post #18

Study persuasion and communication. * Robert Cialdini's "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion * Jeff Cannon's "Leadership Lessons of the Navy Seals" * Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" Attend Public Speaking workshops. If there's a ToastMasters club in your area, join it. Improv can be another great way to learn how to get "less rigid" and more open with your communication style. https://ww…

But also don't overdo it. People can tell when you're just parroting the countless business/persuasion books.

This. It's so obvious when people start using tips from these kinds of books. If you read them, you also start to notice people _everywhere_ using it.
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