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The Hand Licking Incident

raisingfutureadults.blogspot.com

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Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#91

Post by fiter »

delinka wrote: post #35
khazhou wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

True, but I'm not saying it's a going thing to roll shit down... I'm saying that it would behoove people to realize that when their manager is angry, it's probably because their manager is angry at them. One can do with that insight what they will. Personally, it helps me cope with stressful situations, to realize I'm not the odd man out, and that everyone struggles to get it right.

I'm afraid you've misunderstood. I'm saying that when you see shit happening and do these things to make improvements, you [unwittingly] train the management stack that this is how they get improvements: by sending the shit downhill.

What's your proposal on how to handle the situation?

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#92

Post by School-Cotton »

georgebarnett wrote: post #56
random314 wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You receive the special hacker news award for shittiest extrapolation - 2019.

If violence worked as a strategy, then it would work better the more of it was applied. Instead, what we see is that the more violence applied, the worse the outcome in the long run. This indicates it’s not a solution.

If taking Tylenol worked as a strategy to reduce pain, it would work better the more of it was applied. Instead, what we see is the more Tylenol taken, the worse the outcome in the long run (taking the whole bottle will destroy your liver...)

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#93

Post by xenadu02 »

taneq wrote: post #48
ilaksh wrote: post #44

My take on this is that sometimes problems are really hard to solve on your own or at all at the time. It seems like if there was money then the behavior was so persistent that it actually warranted outside help from some type of specialist. So instead of just continually putting pressure the husband should have acknowledged that it was not a normal parenting issue and looked for a psychiatrist or something. The othe…

The thing that jumps out at me is that it took months and months to ask the simple question, "why are you doing that?" Also, in this case the undesirable behaviour had a perfectly benign and easily fixable root cause, but that's not always (or even mostly?) true. In many cases my kids will be misbehaving because they're not getting what they want, eg. icecream for dinner or to not go to bed on time. In cases like the…

Small children often can’t articulate the reasons why they do something. If pressed they’ll fabricate an answer that may or may not be nonsense (but isn’t true nonetheless). If you suggest a reason to them they’ll immediately say yes. If you offer a list of reasons they’ll immediately claim it’s the first or last choice offered.

I have no doubt that she asked him repeatedly why he was doing it but either he couldn’t answer or by that point the shame and pressure from himself teacher created a mental block that prevented him from answering.

Taking the pressure off is absolutely the right thing to do.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#94

Post by eh78ssxv2f »

sdrothrock wrote: post #32
DoreenMichele wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I learned the term because I was homeschooling and active in the oldest online gifted community. I kind of was rubbing elbows with some of the luminaries in gifted education circles. So I was kind of in on the ground floor. I believe public schools were much slower to adopt such concepts.

That makes a lot of sense! Thank you. Do you know if it is (yet/still?) in use in public school systems in the US?

Yes, I heard 2E being recently mentioned in a public elementary school. So, it seems it's still in use.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#95

Post by philwelch »

beaconstudios wrote: post #65

I tend to think that almost every time someone is doing something you don't understand or don't like, you're better off understanding the reason for the behaviour than trying to quash it. Even if you desperately want it to stop, they're clearly doing the thing as a means to address something so if you want to stop them using the current solution you should have a better solution to hand or the problem will once again…

The same is true even for dogs, to some extent. And, to some extent, some people are just born very slightly sadistic or mean and there's no noble underlying reason in the first place.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#96

Post by beaconstudios »

philwelch wrote: post #95
beaconstudios wrote: post #65

I tend to think that almost every time someone is doing something you don't understand or don't like, you're better off understanding the reason for the behaviour than trying to quash it. Even if you desperately want it to stop, they're clearly doing the thing as a means to address something so if you want to stop them using the current solution you should have a better solution to hand or the problem will once again…

The same is true even for dogs, to some extent. And, to some extent, some people are just born very slightly sadistic or mean and there's no noble underlying reason in the first place.

why would their reason have to be noble? Human motivations can be complex.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#98

Post by zapzupnz »

dfgert wrote: post #57
cryptonector wrote: post #47

It's so easy for parents (and teachers) to misdiagnose strange child behaviors. TFA is a wonderful example. Parents need to watch for things like blood sugar problems, autism (e.g., failure to make eye contact), skin problems, mild food allergies (why does the kid not like _fill in the blank_, maybe it's because it tastes "spicy" to them), and much else. Young children will not figure these things out by themselves.…

I don't understand when will medicine recognize the cause of all health complications instead of trying to individually path each and every problem. People can then start correct precautionary measures. All health issues that we see on rise today were virtually absent in pre-industrial era and are directly result of our newly adopted habits and environment. We are paying so much of cost to live in a "modern" world.

We also have higher life expectancy rates and lower infant mortality. No need to go tin foil hat philosophical about all things scary and ‘modern’, it paints a black and white view of the world, progress, and the general concept of change.

Re: The Hand Licking Incident

#100

Post by rexpop »

> My husband was career military > You are surrounded by panicked people screaming at you to douse it with your drink before the house burns down.

Patriarchal authoritarianism strikes again. I wonder what in her upbringing enabled her to withstand it.

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