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An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

nytimes.com

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Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#111

Post by BurningFrog »

ThrowMeDown01 wrote: post #71
BurningFrog wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, as an atheist, the weekly unforced meetup you guys have is the one thing I do envy. I wonder how many of the churchgoers secretly have no real faith and are only there for the company...

As an atheist, I've been on two Catholic pilgrimages and countless church services. My first pilgrimage was to Lourdes in the South of France - as a member of the German army. During an introduction course in the first weeks after joining the army we were told we were entitled to certain programs, and getting time off from the army. After basic training and entering regular service I went to the base's priest, told I…

> Nobody cares what you are. Just go if you want.

Yeah, but I don't belong there. I don't believe in the whole purpose of the organization. So it would feel like a big weird lie to show up to mass each week just to mingle.

Plus I have no idea what one does at a church/synagogue/mosque. How does that social scene work? I suppose on some level that's an argument for going there to see what happens.

And maybe if I get that lonely one day I'll do that.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#112

Post by Baeocystin »

JohnL4 wrote: post #109
Baeocystin wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's what congregations like the Unitarians are like. I go once a month to the local one, and I've been an atheist my entire life. I'd guess about half the people that there are, too, but no one really seems to mind one way or the other, as long as you're friendly and civil to everyone else. Mostly it's a discussion group, and I quite enjoy it.

This is awesome. My first thought was "church" and that's the top comment at the moment. "Yeah but atheist" was expected and my first thought was U-U, and, bam, there it is. My work is done here. Time for another Manhattan. (BTW, I suspect urban Methodists (of which I am one) will also be cool, and will discourage the lunatics a bit more.)

Seeing as how my mother was Methodist, my father Unitarian, I am inclined to agree with you. Cheers!

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#113

Post by Baeocystin »

BurningFrog wrote: post #106
Baeocystin wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's what congregations like the Unitarians are like. I go once a month to the local one, and I've been an atheist my entire life. I'd guess about half the people that there are, too, but no one really seems to mind one way or the other, as long as you're friendly and civil to everyone else. Mostly it's a discussion group, and I quite enjoy it.

So what happens at a Unitarian service? I've imagined it's a non/cross religious service for any religious/spiritual people, but I honestly have no idea.

With the caveat that fellowships vary significantly between one another, most of the ones I've gone to follow the pattern of:

show up, prepare some coffee/light snacks, as soon as a critical mass of folks have arrived, sing a short welcoming hymn,

brief discussion of happenings since the last meeting (ie, which scholarship got the most votes to support last time, so that's the one we'll fund, etc),

main service, usually someone giving a talk about some aspect of what they've done (ie, my father was a diplomat focused on human rights, he would talk about a few select issues, and how things did or did not work out)

discussion following the presentation, with a focus on the morality aspects (it is a church meeting, after all)

passing of the hat to fund stuff like scholarships & pay the minimal expenses that come with meetings

closing hymn, everyone says goodbye with a smile.

So it's a lot like a nominal Christian service you'd find in a lot of churches across the US, with the difference being that the actual God part of the discussion is greatly minimized, and the social aspect emphasized. I genuinely enjoy going.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#114

Post by Baeocystin »

raverbashing wrote: post #70
Baeocystin wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's what congregations like the Unitarians are like. I go once a month to the local one, and I've been an atheist my entire life. I'd guess about half the people that there are, too, but no one really seems to mind one way or the other, as long as you're friendly and civil to everyone else. Mostly it's a discussion group, and I quite enjoy it.

The hard thing about (some) interest groups is that sometimes they have people "way out there" in political opinions, "different" view of the world (think the views that include the usage of aluminium headwear) or just maladjusted to normal living.

I know what you mean. But (and I think this is genuinely, deeply important) listening to people's thoughts and opinions when they are far outside how you see things is vital if you want to make sure that your own perceptual bubble isn't vastly out of sync with the rest of society.

I have friends from across the political spectrum, and one of my primary concerns of the modern time is how many of them have incredibly inaccurate strawman conceptions of what 'the other side' is like. The only solution I know of is to actually talk in person.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#115

Post by BurningFrog »

Baeocystin wrote: post #113
BurningFrog wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So what happens at a Unitarian service? I've imagined it's a non/cross religious service for any religious/spiritual people, but I honestly have no idea.

With the caveat that fellowships vary significantly between one another, most of the ones I've gone to follow the pattern of: show up, prepare some coffee/light snacks, as soon as a critical mass of folks have arrived, sing a short welcoming hymn, brief discussion of happenings since the last meeting (ie, which scholarship got the most votes to support last time, so that's the one we'll fund, etc), main service, usua…

Thanks!

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#116

Post by WalterBright »

pkamb wrote: post #85
WalterBright wrote: post #40

I have a hard time finding people who like to work on old cars. I joined a mopar club for a while, but all they did is talk about meeting minutes and the budget. Never going over to Bob's house and getting his wreck back on the road. I run into people now and then who have a classic in their garage, but they never seem interested in having a group of people helping out. None of my friends in the tech business have th…

Start a local Cars & Coffee. Find an empty lot with a nice view, set a time, and do a bit of social media posting. Low-key and BYOC. For reference: https://instagram.com/lakewashingtoncarsandcoffee

That looks like fun! Thanks for the link.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#117

Post by dash2 »

JChase2 wrote: post #105
dash2 wrote: post #88

Offtopic, I followed the link in the last letter to that Senate committee and got: Sorry, a potential security risk was detected in your submitted request. The Webmaster has been alerted. Then I tried https://www.senate.gov/ and got the same thing. Is there a reason for this? I'm in the UK browsing on Firefox.

The senate site has had SSL issues for me for years. It's very weird. If you go to: http://www.senate.gov/senators/leadership.htm and try SSL, it redirects to http. Strange. Like it's not set up recursively or something or that directory has it's own .htaccess or w/e that doesn't use SSL?

You literally mean the website of the United States senate just doesn't work, and hasn't for years? I mean, I absolutely cannot find a way to access that site without getting the same "unauthorized" message.

This can't be true...

can it?

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#118

Post by humanrebar »

Baeocystin wrote: post #113
BurningFrog wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So what happens at a Unitarian service? I've imagined it's a non/cross religious service for any religious/spiritual people, but I honestly have no idea.

With the caveat that fellowships vary significantly between one another, most of the ones I've gone to follow the pattern of: show up, prepare some coffee/light snacks, as soon as a critical mass of folks have arrived, sing a short welcoming hymn, brief discussion of happenings since the last meeting (ie, which scholarship got the most votes to support last time, so that's the one we'll fund, etc), main service, usua…

> ...with the difference being that the actual God part of the discussion is greatly minimized...

With all due respect, the main focus of a Christian worship service is "the actual God part", so removing the content creates an entirely different thing altogether.

It's also worth noting that the Christian content... actual belief in the teachings of the Bible, does reinforce certain aspects of church that might be essential to long-term (millennia) health of that form of spiritualism. Perhaps some of: mandatory evangelism, canonized moral codes, commandments to humility, recognition that humanity is ultimately flawed, belief in perfect justice in eternity (reduces the need to enforce certain norms), and the list goes on.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#119

Post by Baeocystin »

humanrebar wrote: post #118
Baeocystin wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

With the caveat that fellowships vary significantly between one another, most of the ones I've gone to follow the pattern of: show up, prepare some coffee/light snacks, as soon as a critical mass of folks have arrived, sing a short welcoming hymn, brief discussion of happenings since the last meeting (ie, which scholarship got the most votes to support last time, so that's the one we'll fund, etc), main service, usua…

> ...with the difference being that the actual God part of the discussion is greatly minimized... With all due respect, the main focus of a Christian worship service is "the actual God part", so removing the content creates an entirely different thing altogether. It's also worth noting that the Christian content... actual belief in the teachings of the Bible, does reinforce certain aspects of church that might be ess…

>With all due respect, the main focus of a Christian worship service is "the actual God part", so removing the content creates an entirely different thing altogether.

99.x% of Christian services are morality instructions, which one is free to ponder regardless of any particular belief one might hold.

The why of it in a traditional Christian service is 'God'. That's where many Unitarians (and myself) veer from older religious institutions. But I'm still happy to talk about morality with a regular Christian, in the the same way I'll talk about it with anyone else who has an interest in such things.

Re: An Epidemic of Loneliness in America?

#120

Post by tnecniv »

dash2 wrote: post #87
factsaresacred wrote: post #64

> Loneliness, however, is a symptom of large changes in society, many caused by policies that Republicans have pursued over decades. What neurosis is one suffering that loneliness has to be pinned on the political party one dislikes? I don't understand how Americans can wade through media so thick with political bias. It's exhausting and increasingly permeates everything. And if Republicans are to blame, as the autho…

The bias is not in the media in this case. These are letters to the editor.

The NYT still published it, which i think counts as "media." Even if they don't necessarily agree it's an implicit endorsement that this is a well reasonable argument.
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